I notice that a lot of escorts whine about criminalization, yet don’t want to do anything about it. How are we ever to evolve change if we attack each other, or if we won’t speak up, or at least get behind someone who is out on the front line fighting for our rights?
It has been said that trying to organize sex workers is like herding cats. I’ve always found it darkly amusing that prohibitionists paint us as meek, passive, spineless creatures at the mercy of anything with a penis, when in actuality sex workers in general are the most stubborn, willful, independent and even defiant women I know. In fact, if you look at anti-sex worker rhetoric from prior to about a century ago, you’ll notice that these exact characteristics were used to support the claim that we are “bad” women, because the Establishment likes women meek, passive and spineless and we’re the opposite. We like to do things our own way, on our own schedule, by our own rules, and we’ve been well-known since Biblical times for rebelling against authority and refusing to jump when told to or speak only when spoken to. I’m sure you see where this is going: the very characteristics that drive women toward sex work in the first place, the same characteristics which enable us to succeed in a profession without structure, bosses or trade unions, are the very traits that make us difficult to organize.
There is hope, of course. The submissive or weak-minded are easily driven from the rear by “leaders” who don’t actually lead, but rather stay in safety and shout orders while others take the risks. But the ornery and self-motivated can only be led from the front, by those willing to take the risks and model the behavior they’d like others to adopt. Nor can these leaders be motivated by the desire for power, glory or adulation; most sex workers are keen judges of human behavior and can smell hypocrisy and manipulation a mile off. The only way we’re ever going to win our rights is by ceaselessly fighting the lies prohibitionists tell about us, and relentlessly opposing the police state’s desire to control us. The best way to do that is by speaking up and being out, by refusing to hide our light under a bushel, by fearlessly living our lives no matter who tries to threaten and terrorize us into submission. If we do a good job of that, others will follow our examples, and those gifted with the ability to organize will take on those roles. It won’t be a fast process, but it’s already well underway; there are strong sex worker organizations in many countries, and though criminalization makes that harder in the US it’s gradually happening here as well (albeit at a maddeningly-slow pace). In her book The Love Project, Arleen Lorrance wrote, “Be the change you want to see happen instead of trying to change anyone else.” This quote is usually shortened to “Be the change you want to see in the world” and misattributed to Gandhi, but I prefer the original phrasing and try my best to live by it. I don’t have the power to change anyone else, and I wouldn’t want it; however, I do have the power to behave in the way – independently, fearlessly, honestly and ethically – that I’d like others to behave. And I can only hope that by so doing, others will like what they see and want to do it as well…not because anyone forced them to, but because they want to in order to win rights for themselves, their friends and all their sisters.
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)
Well said, Maggie. As a seasoned activist (dare I say grizzled veteran), I’d add a motto which I learned from an African-American minister and community organizer:
Move with what’s moving
By that, he meant working with whomever shared your goals and was willing to make the effort to achieve it. If lefties won’t work with you, for whatever reason, but Libertarian Party member will, then work with the LP members. If the only group addressing the issue consists of a small bunch of academics sitting around analyzing and criticizing, and some trade union organizers are talking about doing petitions and pickets to attract attention, go with the union folks.
Theory and analysis have their place in planning strategy and tactics, but in the end activism is about action, from bringing broad public attention to protests and lobbying. Don’t wait for “the right people” to do it. Move with what’s moving.
This is a great statement, Maggie, and I admire our courage and the courage of your colleagues.
Similar to the struggle to organize of liberty-minded people in general. If we liked going along with the crowd we’d be Democrats or Republicans. The big difference of course is that sex workers are likely to be actually prosecuted and the SWAT raids on those who are just pro-liberty are spectacular theatrical bits of intimidation but extremely rare and not a present danger for most of us.
“Sex workers in general are stubborn, willful, independent”
That’s been my private experience as well, but I’ve also seen those same “stubborn, willful, independent” women either turn silent or play the innocent victim card to their benefit when Vice arrives on the scene.
The genius of the “end demand” movement is that a credible response would require deeply self-interested groups (clients and workers) to show equal outrage for the mistreatment of the arrested party. I live in Seattle and have watched with amazement as some sex workers who were current or prior members of The Review Board went on to claim after its takedown “well there may have been some sex trafficking going on there with those Asian women.” Forget about defending sex worker rights, how about you stop fragging your own and giving comfort to the enemy?
Tahoe Ted was a good friend and while sometimes gruff, incredibly decent. TRB went down due to technical problems for a short time in 2011, and the sex workers who advertised there begged him to put it back up.
I can’t tell you how many times he removed a difficult client from the board at the request of a sex worker. He held twice yearly parties both for fun and so clients and workers could safely screen each other. He lost money on every one of those parties.
Where was that community when he was portrayed by the media as a sex slave trafficker until he took his own life? When Demand Abolition final developed a “victim survivor” media response through Alisa Bernard who openly dragged his good name through the mud, where were all those who knew different? You are the rare exception who tried to speak out against this great injustice.
With friends like that, he never had a chance against his enemies. Forget about speaking out, How about we just stop eating our own?
It won’t be a movement that decriminalizes prostitution. It has to be won in the courts. Like Lawrence v. Texas, 539 U.S. 558 (2003), a landmark decision by the United States Supreme Court. The Court struck down the sodomy law in Texas in a 6-3 decision and, by extension, invalidated sodomy laws in 13 other states, making same-sex sexual activity legal in every U.S. state and territory. This was the start of the gay rights movement and before this ruling, the gays were like herding cats.
Consensual sex between adults, for what ever motives, should not be against the law and any sane court would rule as such.
Court cases are only part of the mosaic, in large part because the judges on courts don’t make their decisions in a vacuum. They pay attention to public opinion. That’s why the Obergefell decision went down the way it did — public opinion had shifted in favor of marriage equality, and that shift happened because of the movement to achieve it.
Like the marriage equality movement, the movement for decrim needs to be multi-faceted in its membership and methods, and play the long game over many fronts. But it will happen. How long depends upon folks like you and me rolling up our sleeves and doing the work.