Archive for March 16th, 2023

It’s always been difficult for me to ask for what I need, even from close friends; exactly why this should be the case in a person who has absolutely no problem speaking her mind in any other way is a conundrum I’ve never been able to adequately explain even to myself, much less anyone else.  But it’s something my friends have long noticed and lovingly chided me for, to very little avail.  Now, I’ve never had a problem asking for payment for services; the issue only arises when there’s no direct quid pro quo.  That’s why appeals for financial support from my readers are always difficult for me to write, and always seem awkward to my eyes when I read them.  So when several of y’all responded to last month’s “Inner Circle” by subscribing at my new $10 per week and $25 per week levels, it was both satisfying and validating on several levels.  The more obvious one is, of course, the economic dimension; things have been a bit tight since autumn, and with tax time coming up (much more painfully than usual thanks to a 50% increase in my property taxes) it was quite a relief for more to come in just in time, not to mention helping soothe my anxiety about the rest of the year.  But there’s another dimension, too; such a positive, concrete response to my request helps to quiet that part of my brain which generates formless, unidentifiable anxieties about asking, and thereby makes it less scary to do it again in the future.  So to my new subscribers, thank you for supporting me in two very important ways.  And to those who haven’t joined yet: won’t you please consider adding your contributions to the team of generous folks who make my work possible and my life just a little bit easier?

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