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Posts Tagged ‘naturalness’

Prostitution is not just a service industry, mopping up the overflow of male demand, which always exceeds female supply. Prostitution testifies to the amoral power struggle of sex…. Prostitutes, pornographers, and their patrons are marauders in the forest of archaic night. –  Camille Paglia

Just how old is the “world’s oldest profession”?  Many people (including myself) feel it’s just a formalized version of natural female behavior, and I’ve discussed this idea at least twice before (on October 12th and January 17th).  The latter column was inspired by one written by Amanda Brooks, and a number of working girls commenting on these columns stated that the work felt perfectly natural to them, or that they were drawn to it at an early age.  But whores aren’t the only ones contemplating the origins of our profession; some evolutionary biologists think about it as well.  Regular reader Joyce sent me a link to the March 6th entry in a blog called The Scientific Fundamentalist which appears on the Psychology Today website.  The blog is written by Satoshi Kanazawa, an evolutionary psychologist at the London School of Economics (who is currently a visiting scholar at Cornell) and the column is called “Do Men Try To Impress Prostitutes?”:

…In the epilogue of… [Superfreakonomics] entitled “Monkeys are people too,” Levitt and Dubner discuss the research by M. Keith Chen and Laurie R. Santos with capuchin monkeys.  Chen and Santos introduced money in a small group of capuchin monkeys and taught them how to use it.  Eventually, the capuchins learned that coins had value and they could exchange them for valuable commodities like food.  One of the things that Chen and Santos discovered in their research is just how humanlike the capuchins are.  As soon as they learned that coins had value, one of the male capuchins gave a coin to a female in exchange for sex.  Yes, capuchins engage in prostitution.  The observation that nonhuman species engage in prostitution is not new, however.  Frans de Waal and other primatologists have long observed that bonobos also engaged in prostitution, by exchanging food for sex.

If monkeys and apes routinely engage in prostitution, then it means that the evolutionary origin of prostitution probably dates back before we were human.  It means that prostitution is indeed the world’s oldest profession.

Kanazawa then goes on to describe a passage of the book in which a man describes an encounter with an escort in which he tried to impress her, and then continues:

…This does not make sense…if the evolutionary origin of prostitution thus dates back long before we were human, then it means that prostitution is evolutionarily familiar…[and]  men’s brains should be able to recognize prostitutes and to treat them differently from “ordinary” women, whom they do have to impress if they want to have sex with them.  In other words, there should be an evolved “hooker module” in the brain.  The deep evolutionary origin of prostitution and prostitutes and thus their evolutionary familiarity suggest that men would not try to impress prostitutes, because they know it is not necessary…I don’t suppose there are any systematic and high-quality data on how men treat prostitutes, whether they indeed try to impress them, even when sex with them is a sure thing.  If it turns out that men routinely attempt to impress prostitutes before having sex, then it means that prostitution is evolutionarily novel and it is not the world’s oldest profession.

He then went on to cite research showing that “intelligent men are significantly more likely ever to have paid for sex”, which he said also suggested that prostitution is a recent development.  While I was glad to see the subject seriously being studied, I was a little put out over Kanazawa’s conclusions.  Still, he seemed like an open-minded person so I decided to take the plunge:  I looked up his email address and sent him an email stating that I had read his article and was confused by his logic:

This presumes that prostitutes are fundamentally different from what I call “amateurs”, which we aren’t; your assumption seems to be based on the fallacies that 1) prostitutes provide a consistent level of service no matter how we’re treated, and 2) that to a man, all sex is good sex.  While the second statement may certainly be true of some men…it isn’t by any stretch of the imagination true of most; the average client of a $300/hour hooker…wants a good, quality “girl friend experience” (GFE) which will be much more likely if he treats his “date” like a lady.  Most escorts who are treated as though they’re “bought and paid for” will try to complete the act as quickly as possible and get such a client out the door.  Furthermore, in my experience the typical client enjoys the illusion that a beautiful woman wants to spend time with him, even if he intellectually knows she is there for the money.  I guarantee you that the majority of my clients tried their utmost to impress me, even to the point of bringing me gifts, flowers and the like.

I went on to say that I reckon intelligent men are more likely to have patronized us because they are more likely to make “the reasonable and pragmatic decision to spend [their] money on a ‘sure thing’ rather than chasing women whose price and quality are uncertain.”  I rather expected to be ignored; I worried that my letter might be taken as rude and I thought Kanazawa might dismiss me as some silly tart with notions.  Well, I was pleasantly surprised; less than two hours later he replied very graciously thanking me for my input and asking a number of questions which let me know that he was not merely being polite, but was genuinely interested in my thoughts on the subject.  We exchanged several emails over the next few hours and he told me he’ll be doing a follow-up article based in part on our conversations, and will let me know when it’s published.  In the meantime, I read a number of his other columns (especially this one on modern feminism and the ones on sex differences linked within it) and found them quite interesting; I suspect y’all will, too.

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Every harlot was a virgin once. –  William Blake

On many occasions I’ve written about the fact that whores aren’t all that different from everyone else; that is to say we’re different from each other just like everyone else is different, and we no more share a certain “whore personality type” than all amateurs share a “non-whore personality type”.  We’re not all addicts, nor are we all emotionally damaged, nor have we all been molested as children.  We’re not all nymphomaniacs or criminals (except insofar as our societies choose to brand us as criminals), or pimped “sex slaves”, and we don’t all have low-self esteem; in fact a disproportionate number of us have high self-esteem, which anyone who actually bothered to talk to real whores instead of just chanting dogma would realize is almost inevitable.  We have families, children and friends, outside interests, hopes, dreams, fears and needs just like everyone else.  But some people insist on portraying us as somehow inhuman, with dangerous or even fatal results.

A new advertising campaign in Nova Scotia hopes to spread the message that we are real people and therefore deserve the same rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness as everyone else does; here’s a paraphrased version of a story about that campaign which appeared in the Chronicle Herald on Wednesday, January 26th:

At first glance, you might expect the wholesome-looking woman staring from posters in Metro Transit bus shelters to be selling something like milk or granola.Nova Scotia ad “I’m glad my prostitute made me finish school,” says the jarring copy that accompanies the ads for Stepping Stone, a Halifax group that advocates for and offers outreach to street-level sex workers. And then in much smaller type:  “Sex workers are mothers too.”

The controversial campaign was designed by Halifax-based Extreme Advertising and aims to humanize the stereotypes of those practicing the world’s oldest profession.  Violent attacks against prostitutes were Stepping Stone’s motivation for the campaign, according to Anthony Taaffe, the creative director at Extreme.  “People have a bad habit of pigeonholing sex workers as not being people,” he said.  “It’s easy for people to kind of go, ‘Oh, that woman’s just a whore.’  Well, no, that person is also somebody’s mother or somebody’s daughter or somebody’s sister or something like that.  So it helps humanize them a little bit.  And I think that’s what we want people to really understand is you might not necessarily agree with what they do for a job, but don’t forget that they’re humans and they deserve the same respect that you give to your brother or your father or your mother.”

“We did want to get people’s attention,” said Rene Ross, the executive director of Stepping Stone.  “And we really wanted folks to see sex workers for what they are, and that is people, and to get people talking about the issue, because the reality is sex workers are criminalized in Canada and they face a great amount of stigma, marginalization and violence.”

Sadly, it would be nearly impossible to launch such a campaign in the United States; nobody would dare to contradict the politically correct view of hookers as infantilized victims to be “rescued” from “pimps”, our customers, or even ourselves.  And in recent years trafficking fetishists have dehumanized us even more, into mere numbers:  The larger a crowd any person vanishes into, the less her individuality can be perceived.  I don’t think it’s done on purpose, but it couldn’t be more effective if it were; by reducing individual women – daughters, sisters, mothers, lovers, friends, wives, professionals, entrepreneurs, priestesses, therapists and any number of others – into mere digits in a huge number like “10,000 prostitutes coming to the Super Bowl” or “300,000 trafficked victims”, the fetishists erase these women’s individuality.  They become mere ants in a mound, grains of rice in a sack, drops of water in a bucket…identical, interchangeable particles who don’t have to be cared about as individual human beings, just treated collectively as part of a “problem” to be “solved”.  Remember the song “Easy To Be Hard” from Hair?

And especially people
Who care about strangers
Who care about evil
And social injustice
Do you only
Care about the bleeding crowd?
How about a needing friend?

infantalized prostitutes adUnfortunately, there are a very large number of people who do indeed only care about the “bleeding crowd” while turning their backs on the needs of real human beings.  It’s very easy to claim to be oh-so-concerned about the tens of thousands of “teenage sex slaves” who don’t actually exist, because they don’t have faces and idiosyncrasies and opinions which the “rescuers” might find offensive.  Imaginary sex slaves who can never really be rescued don’t make inconvenient demands like “OK, if you don’t want me to be a whore give me a job which makes just as much money and still allows me to be my own boss and have the flexibility to go to school/be with my kids/write my book/work my other job.”  Real women do, and thus it’s much better for the fanatics not to think about us in that way; numbers can be manipulated, modified and made to do what a skillful manipulator wishes, but real women can’t.  Real women may not wish to repent, to waste their lives enriching others by drudge work, or to parrot whatever lies their “rescuers” wish to put in their mouths, and there’s nothing the prohibitionists hate more than whores who refuse to allow themselves to be pimped to the prohibitionist cause.

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Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense. –  Joseph Addison

The human character is the product of both heredity and environment, but much of the 20th century was spent arguing about which was the stronger.  By the middle of the century most liberal thinkers outside of psychology (and many inside it) insisted that Nurture was stronger than Nature; to believe the opposite required an uncomfortable admission of our animal natures that many humans a century after Darwin still preferred to deny, and the Nurture-over-Nature folk failed to recognize that in denying humans have an innate nature which transcends socialization they were in fact espousing something far more demeaning to the human spirit.  To recognize the pre-eminence of Nature over Nurture is to recognize that humans are animals, but to place Nurture over Nature is to believe we are machines to be programmed as society sees fit.

This idea of course appeals to social engineers because it feeds into their sick belief that society can and should be remade along whatever lines their “elite” leadership demands.  The neofeminists are a perfect example; by pretending that all gender differences are “socially constructed”, they deny that most gendered behavior is innate and thereby clear the way for their plan to masculinize girls and feminize boys so as to artificially create a mechanistic eunuch-culture which can be ruled by one law.  Luckily, these claims have in the past two decades fallen into disrepute; neurological discoveries, an increased understanding of endocrinology and cross-cultural and cross-species studies all show that when it comes to gender Nature is vastly stronger than Nurture.  Except in the ghettos of “women’s studies” and “queer theory” it would be difficult to find any educated person with any knowledge of the subject who still believes that the majority of male or female behaviors derive from social learning rather than hormones and brain architecture.

This does not, of course, disprove that some behaviors we associate with one sex or the other result from socialization rather than birth.  In fact, few educated people would be so dogmatic as to make the claim that ALL gendered behaviors derive from nature.  I predict that the struggle over the next few decades will be to determine which are which; those with a unisex agenda will of course try to prove that as many behaviors as possible are learned, and social conservatives will try to prove the opposite, while serious researchers attempt to remain as scientifically detached as possible so as to learn the truth.  Generally speaking, if a given behavior is linked to known hormonal, neurological or somatic mechanisms and is consistent across many cultures and primate species, it almost certainly derives from Nature, and if it has no known biological mechanism and appears inconsistently across cultures and species it very likely derives from Nurture.

Well, considering that a certain female behavior discussed frequently in this blog appears in every known human culture throughout history and also in chimpanzees, is it possible that it derives from Nature?  In other words, could it be that whores are born rather than made?  In her column of January 14th, Amanda Brooks suggests that this might indeed be the case:

Not every sex worker in the world enters the work because she has always felt a pull towards it. Many have. I know a number of women who have felt the interest from a young age, including myself (and this was before I even had a clear idea of what sex was). Conversations with these women reveal that we all say the same things about our early interest, we all became interested right before entering puberty and common myths about prostitution were not enough to dissuade us from desiring that life-path.  This is a very small sampling and it’s highly unscientific. Given what we know about genes and hard-wired behaviors — it seems more than plausible. Just as homosexual people are born, I am convinced prostitutes are born too.

My inspiration came last year after reading a US-based survey about attitudes toward gay people. The discovery of “gay genes” seems to have really turned the tide in popular thinking and acceptance of homosexuality. It sounds like an argument of convenience for prostitution. But if the range of human sexual orientation is, in fact, genetic; then how come prostitution — an extremely common sexual behavior — supposedly isn’t? What if prostitution isn’t merely a sexual behavior but is actually a sexual orientation? Why has prostitution always been viewed as a deviant behavior? How come people aren’t willing to examine the idea that a prostitute is a perfectly natural occurrence and that it’s society which has formed the deviant behavior around the prostitute?

If being a prostitute is a natural tendency for a percentage of women, then how can laws be made against who they are?

It’s quite an interesting idea, and her column is well worth reading.  The theory is of course the exact opposite of that espoused by neofeminists, who claim that all prostitutes are sexually and psychologically damaged victims who are warped into pursuing prostitution by sexual abuse.  And just as they deny evidence of biological origin of sex-based behaviors, so they deny the possibility that most women choose prostitution freely.  Those who deny any history of sexual abuse are claimed to be “in denial” or suffering from “repressed memories”; the neofeminist “theory” flies in the face of reality and so requires that reality be denied if it is to be believed.  But Amanda’s theory requires no such denial; in fact it is supported by the case-histories of many working girls I have known, who feel no sense of shame or discomfort in our profession whatsoever and indeed were fascinated by the subject from a young age – often before we even knew what sex was.  The theory certainly fits my story, which I related in my columns of July 28th, 29th and 30th.  Could there really be a “hooker gene”?  Only time and research will tell.

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The better a work is, the more it attracts criticism; it is like the fleas who rush to jump on white linens. –  Gustave Flaubert

Last Tuesday (December 21st) I received a request for moderation of a comment on my column of December 13th.  As regular readers know, I don’t approve comments from posters who seem very belligerent because once a particular commenter is approved all subsequent comments by that same poster are automatically approved; I don’t want anyone who seems prone to negativity having free reign to scatter such comments all over my board while I sleep, eat or otherwise live normal (offline) life.  I have no wish to censor anyone, but I reserve the right to maintain a positive tone in my own site.  Since the commenter is a fellow supporter of whores’ rights I felt I should reply via email, and did so.  The following is the series of emails which resulted; I asked for permission to publish this and he did not answer, but since he intended the discussion to be read by everyone in the commentary I see no harm in featuring it in a column instead.  The following messages are reproduced exactly as written, with no additions, subtractions or modifications other than the correction of four typos (two each) and the truncation of my signature line to simply “Maggie McNeill”.  N.B. :  The term “cisgendered” is a neologism meaning people who aren’t transgendered.

His initial message:

I don’t mean to defend Burts’ actions, but your critique would do well to exclude the whorephobia and homophobia on which it is founded.  Your explicit and stigmatizing language (e.g., undermining Burts’ statement that he has a girlfriend by claiming she is a beard, your overwrought scare quotes to mock homosexual men, and your very clear hatred for gay and-or bi male escorts as perceived vectors of disease) betrays your motivations.  Get with it; there are men and women, including transgender men and women, in the sex trade that don’t fit into your neat little hierarchy of needs, and we deserve the same rights and the same respect you demand for nontrans women trading sex.

Also, your assumptions, as well as those of the ACLU’s, about the application of ‘prostitution’ laws being more often applied to women more than men are an oft-repeated and misleading factoid.  While it is true that ‘prostitution’ laws (i.e., with ‘prostitution’ in the title) disproportionately affect women, this is especially so for transgender women.  Also, studies show that, for instance, young men who trade sex are 160 percent more criminalized than women, only using different laws (e.g., possession, assault, loitering, etc.).  See the recent study by Dr. Ric Curtis on minors who trade sex in New York City.  The study, which was sponsored by the Department of Justice, also found that an estimated 54 percent of minors who trade sex in New York City are nontrans boys, not all of them gay-identified.  Consider that the next time you dismiss queer and trans sex workers, as well as straight-identified male sex workers who serve men, as a minority.

The fact is that queer and trans hookers were throwing heels at the police at Compton’s Cafeteria and Stonewall before you were old enough to buy a beeper.  Your consistent misrepresentations are harmful to solidarity in the movement.

My reply:

Dear Will,

I’m sorry, but I can’t approve this sort of comment for my blog.  While I accept criticism, I do not allow commentary which criticizes my refusal to subscribe to groupthink and accuses me of nefarious psychosocial motives where there are none.  I have written about the misuse of the word “homophobia” (which doesn’t mean what you use it to mean), and though I have nothing against homosexual men you cannot be convinced of that and allowing you to start a flame war is therefore pointless and unproductive.  The only “clear hatred” is in your mind; just because others disagree with you doesn’t mean they “hate” you.  The presumption that they do is, quite frankly, childish; hatred is an immature, destructive reaction to fear and/or anger and I do not partake of it, not even toward men who raped me.

I absolutely agree that homosexual and transsexual prostitutes deserve equal respect, but since I know nothing about their world it would be extremely presumptuous for me to say anything about them.  Others have blogs in which those issues are covered; mine is not among them.  My primary focus is on female prostitution, with a strong emphasis on pointing out that we aren’t so different from other women.  As you can see if you view it rationally, talking about male prostitutes or transsexuals would result in distraction from that emphasis.

As I said to a commenter on Bound Not Gagged recently, we are on the same side.  That does not mean we must travel in lock-step, however, and indeed to promote such unity of rhetoric is destructive to the point we’re trying to make that whores are nothing to be afraid of (and therefore inevitably repressed).  Non-whores don’t all spout the same rhetoric, and neither should we.  Diversity of opinion isn’t destructive to solidarity in the movement; attempts to impose an agenda of “correct” speech and thought are.  I became a whore in part because it allowed me freedom from arbitrary rules, so as you can imagine I’m no more interested in subscribing to your notion of “correct” language and tone than anyone else’s.

If you like, I will print both your letter and this response within a column next week; if you prefer that I don’t I will honor that request.  We are not enemies, but not even allies have to agree on everything nor necessarily like each other at all times.

Maggie McNeill

His response:

Glad to hear your snide conjecture and censorious conduct is not just a performance for your readers.  Try to hide behind the accusation that this is about being ‘PC’ all you want, but I suspect you’re a cold and selfish egoist who doesn’t have the ovaries to think and talk and work in solidarity with your peers who are equal stakeholders in ending whore stigma and criminalization.  Talking about men and women, including transgender men and women, who did not fit into your boxes would distract from the point?  It in fact undermines the anti-sex work argument that prostitution is always already ‘violence against women.’  Consider that many straight-identified men trade sex with men for money, and yet the right-wingers aren’t trying to rescue them.  You’re repeating the same fallacy as your enemies.

I’m not asking you to stop focusing on nontrans women, I’m asking you to edit your language to indicate that there are others in this trade besides straight cisgendered white women.

My final reply:

Dear Will,

I have never implied that “straight cisgendered white women” are the only ones who prostitute ourselves; in fact I have made many comments to the contrary.  It seems to me that you derive your criticisms from the reading of a small number of my posts, and that you interpret not mentioning something as tantamount to condemnation of it.

As for “I suspect you’re a cold and selfish egoist who doesn’t have the ovaries to think and talk and work in solidarity with your peers,” I repeat that groupthink is neither necessary nor desirable in activism.  That’s the mistake the feminists made, and it does not behoove us to repeat it.

Will, I have no quarrel with you or with any other person who cares about this cause, but I cannot be bullied into dancing to somebody else’s tune.  I will continue to fight the good fight in my own way, just as you will fight it in yours.  I wish you good luck on your own path, just as I hope for it on mine.

Maggie McNeill

Since this is the second such attack on my style in just a few days, I think it’s pretty clear some activists are making incorrect assumptions about what I’m trying to do here.  Though I stated it pretty clearly in my introduction, I think it’s time for an elaboration and I will publish that on Saturday, January 1st.

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To the moralist prostitution does not consist so much in the fact that the woman sells her body, but rather that she sells it out of wedlock. –  Emma Goldman

I’m often asked where I get the inspiration for a column every single day, and I must admit that it isn’t always easy; sometimes I struggle with it for a long time before I can think of anything (and I’m afraid that shows sometime).  But other times, it just drops into my lap; this is one of those times.  On Monday, Amanda Brooks published a new column, and in a comment to it I wrote: “That’s the main reason I tend to harp so much on the fact that prostitution is a continuum stretching from party girl to porn star and from wife to streetwalker, with the vast majority of non-celibate heterosexual women falling somewhere in there and not necessarily remaining in one place within it forever. It’s why I tend to use words like ‘whore’, ‘prostitute’, ‘harlot’, ‘hooker’, ‘escort’ and ‘sex worker’ interchangeably, and it’s also why the legal basis upon which prostitution law rests is so highly dubious.”  With that rolling around in my head I then took a look at Brandy Devereaux’s site and today’s column was born once I read her commentary on this story:

Myrtle Beach police arrested a 48-year-old woman on a prostitution charge after officers working undercover said she agreed to perform a sexual act for $100, according to a police report.  Diana Ceham Ahmad, 48, was charged with second-offense prostitution during an undercover police investigation about 5:45 p.m. Saturday in the area of Ninth Avenue North and Kings Highway, police said.  An officer, who was driving an undercover vehicle, saw Ahmad walking in the area of 12th Avenue South and Yaupon Drive and when he stopped she got inside the vehicle, according to the report.  The officer wrote in his report that she told him she could use $100 and she “could borrow $100” from him while she winked her left eye.

So in Myrtle Beach (and no doubt many other places here in the Land of the Free), winking is evidence of prostitution.  In Detroit, not wearing a bra and/or panties serves a similar function, and in many places it’s having more than one condom in one’s purse.  And for a woman to appear alone on a street has been used as evidence since the beginning of prohibition over a century ago.  Cops are not allowed such ridiculous excuses for “evidence” for any other “crime”, so why are they allowed it for prostitution?  It’s because it is the only human activity which is legal to perform for free but not for directly-negotiated pay, so physical evidence is impossible.  There is no body, no stolen goods, no bruises; even DNA evidence recovered from a hooker’s skin could only suggest sex had occurred, not prostitution.

Prostitution is to my knowledge the only “crime” which is entirely defined by its motive; in all other cases I can think of motive only influences the degree of the crime (and its sentencing) rather than defining it.  Motive can sometimes provide an excuse for an otherwise-unlawful behavior (e.g., self-defense can excuse homicide), but in the case of sex all other motives but direct payment are considered legal.  I say “direct payment” because as I have pointed out many times before (most recently on November 21st), indirect payment is not illegal, and whores who obtain marriage licenses can even use the court system to collect their fees!  In order to prove a charge of prostitution the court must have evidence that sex was openly offered for money, yet escorts never do that (and as the “wink” story shows, some streetwalkers don’t either).  In order to get around this obstacle cops simply lie, but because some judges might frown on evidence-less perjury outside of a “sting” setting, it becomes necessary to admit absurdities such as winks, condoms and bralessness as “evidence”.

But just as a lot of sex for money isn’t defined as prostitution, so a lot of things defined as prostitution aren’t sex for money.  As I pointed out in yesterday’s column a client paying for a two-girl show is no different from the rationale behind porn being legal, yet girls have been “stung” and arrested by cops arranging such shows.  Some guys don’t want sex at all, and many of the women arrested by NOPD using the “do you have a condom?” scam weren’t even sex workers of any kind.  One would think such abuses would arouse the ire of feminists everywhere, but nope; they’re much too busy fighting consensual sexual activities like prostitution, BDSM or porn to bother with police arresting random women on the street or lifting up their skirts to see if they’re wearing underwear.

The only methods which can be used to prosecute prostitution – stings, police perjury and ridiculous “evidence” rules, together with the fact that prostitution laws almost universally target women for persecution – create a civil rights nightmare, so as you might expect the American Civil Liberties Union is firmly opposed to them.  Here’s the official ACLU position:

The ACLU supports the decriminalization of prostitution and opposes state regulation of prostitution.  The ACLU also condemns the abuse of vagrancy or loitering laws or licensing or regulatory schemes to harass and arrest those who may be engaged in solicitation for prostitution.  While there are both male and female prostitutes, laws against prostitution most frequently refer to, or are applied to women.  Despite the statutory stress on female prostitution, the ACLU’s policy is applicable to prostitutes of both sexes….

Such laws have traditionally represented one of the most direct forms of discrimination against women.  The woman who engages in prostitution is punished criminally and stigmatized socially while her male customer, either by the explicit design of the statute or through a pattern of discriminatory enforcement is left unscathed.

Prostitution laws are also a violation of the right of individual privacy because they impose penal sanctions for the private sexual conduct of consenting adults.  Whether a person chooses to engage in sexual activity for purposes of recreation, or in exchange for something of value, is a matter of individual choice, not for governmental interference.  Police use of entrapment techniques to enforce laws against this essentially private activity is reprehensible.  Similarly, the use of loitering and vagrancy laws to punish prostitutes for their status or to make arrests on the basis of reputation and appearance, is contrary to civilized notions of due process of law.

Since the ACLU policy is that prostitution should not be made criminal, solicitation for prostitution is entitled to the protection of the First Amendment.

The ACLU reaffirms its policy favoring removal of criminal penalties for prostitution and in support of total sexual freedom among consenting adults in private.

Given this stand, I do have to wonder why the ACLU hasn’t volunteered its services for a test case; I’m sure it wouldn’t be difficult to find an educated, well-spoken escort caught in a “sting” who would be willing to be the “poster child” for such a case.  I found this statement at Procon.org, a site which places arguments for and against various issues in adjacent columns. As one might expect, the “pro” opinions on this subject  are generally based in privacy and civil rights, while the “con” arguments rely on bogus statistics, neofeminist “degradation” rhetoric  and conflation of voluntary adult prostitution with “trafficking” and underage girls.

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I don’t think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing. –  Prince Philip

In my column of November 21st I discussed “halfway whores”, and I mentioned that there are websites dedicated to helping potential sugar babies meet with potential sugar daddies.  Well, one of those sites is now in the news after a rapist used it to lure a victim into a trap.  Here’s the story, paraphrased from the original report in the Orlando Sentinel:

Marcelo Alves was convicted last Friday (December 3rd) of four counts of sexual battery with a deadly weapon for the rape of a 22-year-old woman from Tampa he met on a dating website called SugarDaddyForMe.com; he faces a potential life sentence.  In the days before jurors found Alves guilty, his victim related graphic details of the explicit online chats and then phone conversations she shared with a man she knew as “Mark Garcia”; those communications eventually led to an arranged meeting outside a mansion in the Dr. Phillips neighborhood, where Alves, wearing pantyhose over his face, tackled her in an isolated driveway area, put a knife to her neck and told her to “shut up” repeatedly before raping her.

“I kept saying, like, ‘Please don’t kill me,'” the crying victim testified Tuesday. She recalled being raped in the rear passenger area of her car and outside the vehicle, as well.  Alves also testified, saying the sex was pre-arranged and consensual, but too many other factors undermined his defense, including the fact that he used a large knife, wore the pantyhose as a mask, lured the victim to an isolated location outside a vacant mansion and portrayed himself as another man online.  At the time of the attack in March 2009, Alves helped run the Valencia Community College website as a contract worker.  He also had a wife, kids, a nice home — all lost as a result of his actions.

The case, however, illustrates larger issues about the potential dangers of online dating and the way a victim’s character can be impugned when online communications are part of the criminal investigation.  Before describing the attacks, the victim explained that she registered with the online dating site, which is designed for men wanting “to mentor, pamper & spoil” and women wanting to be “pampered” by “that classy, caring and mature partner.”  The site claims it prohibits “members from offering money in exchange for sex.”  A message left with the site’s management this week was not returned.

The victim acknowledged she was looking for just such a Sugar Daddy-type relationship; she had problems paying bills and wanted to meet someone who could help her financially, she testified.  So she created an online profile on the site, stating she was “fun, outgoing and crazy.”  She even set an allowance on her profile, in other words the monetary amount she expected to receive periodically.  Alves, 40, discovered her profile on the site, where he went by the screen name “ReadyToSpoilYou37.”  He then contacted her through Yahoo Messenger and they chatted several times, discussing the possibility of sex and also the exchange of money.  “We talked about possibly $1,000,” the victim said.

This admission prompted prosecutor Kelly Hicks to ask the victim, “Were you a prostitute?”  The victim answered in the negative, claiming that she was willing to meet with the man she knew as Garcia even without the expectation of money.  But she said when she arrived for the date, Alves wasn’t the man she expected to be there.  Still, defense attorney Timothy Berry asked the victim about the encounter with Alves and about online conversations in which they discussed having sex.  Alves testified that he was supposed to pay the woman $1000, but the amount changed as the sex progressed and he refused to pay.  The woman then threatened to contact police and say he had raped her, he claimed.  But in her closing argument, Hicks stared at Alves, saying the woman involved “is a real victim” of an attack she will remember for the rest of her life”; pointing at Alves, she then said, “That is a real rapist …Find him guilty because he is.”

Jennifer Dritt, executive director of the Florida Council Against Sexual Violence, said casting doubt on a victim’s character or suggesting she somehow deserved what happened are common defense strategies; she also said the case is troubling because of its origins online.  “While most online dating relationships don’t end up this way, you really don’t know who you’re talking to,” Dritt said.  “I think, potentially, they’re very dangerous.  And where money is exchanged, people can have different interpretations of what’s offered and promised.”

Alves, originally from Brazil, told detectives soon after the crime that he had met about 10 other women online in the same way, but denied raping any of them.  As for the victim in this case, Alves told the detectives, “I didn’t want to hurt her.  I am not like that.”  Aside from the sexual battery counts, Alves was also found guilty of false imprisonment, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon while wearing a mask and witness tampering.  He is set to be sentenced on February 9th.

I’m very glad to see Alves get what he deserved; like so many other rapists, he clearly considered a whore to be a safe target whom a jury wouldn’t convict him for raping even if they did believe her, and it’s good to see that the jury proved him wrong.  But I have to wonder if the outcome would’ve been the same had his victim been a full-fledged professional rather than a would-be sugar baby.  From the way the article is written it seems the prosecutor and reporter both wanted to call attention away from the fact that the victim fully intended to transact a compensated sex arrangement; the report coyly refers to SugarDaddyForMe as a “dating site” when it’s obviously much more akin to an escort site, and the prosecutor accepted the victim’s rather incredible claim that she was willing to meet “Garcia” even without the promise of money despite the fact that she was specifically looking for a sugar daddy.  Now, obviously it did not behoove the prosecutor to question further because she was trying to convict the rapist; had she been Alves’ defender I’m sure she would’ve tried to roast the poor girl alive.

But what about the reporter?  Certainly it’s possible that he’s a bit naive, but it seems more likely he was attempting to downplay the commercial nature of the transaction in a vain attempt to avoid arousing the “dirty whore got what she deserved” crowd.  But whatever his motivation, it was not really the right thing to do; pretending that a sugar daddy arrangement is a form of dating rather than “hooking lite” perpetuates the myth that whores are intrinsically different from other women and our clients intrinsically different from other men, which is exactly what vice cops, trafficking alarmists and “Nordic Model” crusaders want the public to think.  But such arguments don’t carry the weight they once did; more and more people are awakening to the realization that harlots aren’t really all that different from our amateur sisters, and our clients aren’t at all different from other men.  The author of this Jezebel article set up a profile at SugarDaddyForMe for research purposes and was surprised to discover how normal most of the members were; perhaps she can next be prevailed upon to join an escort site, where she will discover exactly the same thing.

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Whores are the most honest girls. They present the bill right away. – Alberto Giacometti

Yesterday I talked about wife-swapping, and pointed out that a married female “swinger” is essentially a whore who works for barter.  But they’re not the only women in modern society who are not called prostitutes and whose trade is not illegal, yet are more profoundly immersed in whoredom than I ever was.  They call themselves dancers, models, actresses, hostesses, party girls, students and even professional women, and most of them do actually spend time at some other “regular” job outside of hooking.  But most of them make far more money from selling sex or trading it for “presents” and “help” than they do from their “real” jobs, and they are immune to police persecution because they pretend it isn’t a business.  In other words, society rewards them for their dishonesty.  This isn’t the first time I’ve talked about this; it was the subject of my third column back in July, and featured prominently in the ever-popular “How To Be a Stupid, Greedy Whore” about a month later.  I’m not planning to break any new philosophical ground here, so if you haven’t read those two columns you may wish to do so now.  What I want to look at today is the price these harlots-in-denial pay for their immunity to legal persecution, and to point out that many of them are far sleazier and much less trustworthy than those of us who are not ashamed to call ourselves what we are.

Because only prostitutes advertise openly, whores-in-hiding have to attract customers by looking pretty and hanging around in places where they can be seen by men, preferably wealthy ones; this is why most of them are strippers, models, hostesses and the like.  But others choose to seek customers more subtly, and so hold down “regular” (i.e. non-sex appeal related) jobs by day and spend their evenings and weekends hanging around nightclubs, casinos, etc.  All of this is, of course, tremendously time-consuming; though small fish are fairly common it might take days, weeks or even months to land the sort of big fish needed to justify the time expenditure.  Even those who are making money as models, waitresses, etc have to spend lots of time at a lower pay rate between good clients.  And this means that, as in all other walks of life, the price of increased safety is decreased freedom.  In order to protect herself from arrest and the social stigma attached to prostitution, the semi-pro has to give up a great deal of her free time and work for somebody else.  The “party girl” has it worst of all; since she has a “respectable” job unrelated to sex, she can’t really troll during work hours and so has the equivalent of a second full-time job.  And the most successful of these stealth strumpets pay the highest price in freedom; they become the mistresses or “kept women” of wealthy men and must be at the beck and call of their patrons.  Call girls get these offers as well, but few of us accept them; as I told the occasional men who offered me such deals, “I already have a car, and I prefer to decide for myself who has a key to my house.”  And when I did at last accept such an offer, it included love, trust and marriage rather than being decided entirely by mercantile concerns.

As you might expect, half-whores need to be very physically attractive in order to attract clients; since they do not openly promise sex, their looks alone have to carry the deal until the bargain is struck.  And this means that a large percentage of them are empty boxes; they think their looks are enough, lack the skills and ethics of true professionals, don’t depend on repeat business and are not subject to bad reviews because most of their clients are as deeply in denial as they are and like to stroke their own egos by pretending they don’t pay for pussy.  Unlike real whores (who have lives of our own), many semi-pros are only interested in shopping, “beauty culture” and the like, and it’s not uncommon for them to take payment in drugs or expensive trivialities such as garish jewelry and designer clothes.  I’m not saying all of them are like this, but it’s much easier for a girl with no responsibilities, plans for the future or real personal depth to get by in this manner than it is for a woman with kids, a mortgage or a retirement plan (who can’t afford to take payment in cocaine or Prada) or an actual personality (who would go crazy if she had to spend all her time around rich losers in expensive public places).

Karen Sypher (in middle)

Besides the lack of character, skill and professionalism, there are several other disadvantages to dalliance with a semi-pro, the greatest of which is that she comes with a blank price tag and no contract.  A man has no real idea how much she’s going to cost him in the long run nor what he’s going to get for his money, and since she lacks both professional ethics and the Damoclean sword of legal, professional or social consequences for her actions there is no guarantee she won’t renege on the deal or even try to blackmail her patron (as in the case of Karen Sypher, the stupid, greedy whore discussed in the column of that name).  Think of how many cases you’ve heard of in which a mistress exposes a famous patron vs. how many instances of call girls exposing clients and I think you’ll see where I’m coming from.  Even when this doesn’t happen, the state of denial in which they continually exist creates problems of its own; for example, half-hookers will often dress in clothes no professional escort would ever wear in public because they pretend they have nothing to hide, while we know damned well that we do.  Even worse, many of them think nothing of blurting out their job titles or even talking shop when introduced to their client’s friends, acquaintances or business contacts; if such a potentially-embarrassing meeting occurred in public I was always a saleswoman, secretary or whatever the occasion called for, but the dancer or model might very well answer truthfully when asked, oblivious to the fact that she has given away far more of her client’s business than she should have.

There is, however, one type of harlette with whom a gentleman can avoid most of the issues and probably come as close as possible to a professional experience without actually hiring a full-fledged prostitute, and that is the sugar baby.  This arrangement, which once required both hunting and luck on the man’s part to obtain, has now been made much easier by the internet.  A quick Google search will reveal a number of websites in which young coeds or shop girls can advertise for gentlemen who wish to patronize them (and vice versa).  The two meet and discuss details, and if they can agree on how much money he will pay her per week and how many times she’ll provide sex in that period, a bargain is struck and she gains a regular prepaid client, he a young, low-volume whore.  Obviously, such girls lack the skills (and usually the open-mindedness) of real professionals, but for sugar daddies the attraction engendered by the youth, inexperience and dependence of their nubile mistresses outweigh their sexual deficiencies.  And for the girl who lacks the nerve, pragmatism and disregard for conventional morality necessary to become an independent whore yet still needs free time for her studies (or just wants it for a real social life), the sugar baby arrangement is a satisfactory compromise.

Though we’ve necessarily discussed halfway whores in their modern forms, they are not by any means a modern growth; for as long as civilization has existed beautiful but low-born young women have risen in condition by becoming the concubines or mistresses of wealthy men, and in tomorrow’s column we’ll look at one form of the arrangement which was both common and accepted in New Orleans of the 18th and 19th centuries.

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Pornography does not inspire violence, but you can break a leg trying to imitate it. –  Mason Cooley

Like most women, I don’t really care much for porn.  I have nothing against it in principle; I understand most guys like it and I consider neofeminist claims that all porn encourages violence against women to be ludicrous.  I’m just not as visually-stimulated as guys are; though I find some erotic pictures to be stimulating, I generally like stories better so porn movies without interesting stories tend to bore me.  My extensive sexual experience also makes me hypersensitive to fakery, so what passes for “acting” in most porn annoys me and the ridiculously unrealistic and unfeminine behavior of many of the actresses actually turns me off.  In addition to all this, I also understand firsthand how difficult some of the actions and positions are to achieve or maintain, which takes me out of the action and shatters my willing suspension of disbelief.

Let me give you an analogy; when you watch a movie or television show which involves some aspect of your profession, don’t you find yourself watching it with a far more critical eye than you might watch another program?  If there is a character who is supposed to be a member of your profession, don’t you unconsciously dissect everything that character says or does without even meaning to?  And if the situation, “facts” or character wanders too far from reality, doesn’t it tend to ruin your appreciation of the show because you just can’t ignore the mistakes?  If I watch a movie about doctors or scientists or detectives, I know that they’re making mistakes and diverging from reality, but because I’m not a doctor, scientist or detective I can ignore that because I don’t usually recognize the mistakes when I see them.  But since my business is sex, I understand it intimately; I know what’s comfortable or even possible and what isn’t, and I know how people tend to behave in real life.  So when movie trickery, camera angles and staged situations are used to make it look as though, say, a really punishing activity is going on for a tremendously long time, I automatically recognize that such tricks have been used and my mind pulls back out of it as abruptly as you might pull back when you see the zipper on the monster costume or the wires holding the spaceship model up.  And then there’s character motivation; when I see some porn chick get into a room with three strange guys I ask “why is she doing this?”  If they just included a scene where the men paid her I would enjoy it a lot more, though I understand it might have the opposite effect for guys.

Porno movies, like all movies, are fantasies, but since sex is a real-life activity some men seem unable to separate porn from reality where whores are concerned.  I really don’t know if most men try to act out things they see in porn with their wives or girlfriends because most of the porn available when I was dating (early to mid ‘80s) was pretty basic so there was little there we didn’t already do (except maybe big orgy scenes).  I would suspect at least some do, but many try it with escorts for the obvious reason that we are professionals and our business is to cater to male fantasy.  The only problem with that is, a lot of porn is unreal even when the willingness of the woman is assured by sufficient payment.  There are four main reasons for this: 1) Clients are not porn stars; 2) Not all women have the same abilities and characteristics, so just because Slutyoni Soverydeep can take a 10” cock to the hilt with her knees pressed against her shoulders doesn’t mean every woman can; 3) Porn movies are not filmed in real time, so what seems to take 15 minutes might have been filmed over several hours and two dozen takes with breaks in between; and 4) Porn movies are filmed under rigidly controlled conditions with prescreened actors posed carefully by a director and photographed from the best angles with crew all over the place so that everything is safe; consent has already been obtained from everyone before filming starts and nobody has to worry about being arrested in the middle of a scene.

I hope you can see where this is going.  A middle-aged, overweight businessman on blood pressure medication could not perform like a 28-year-old porn star even IF the film was done in one take, but Aphrodite knows he’ll try.  And then there’s the girl; porn starlets have their specialties and their movies feature those specialties and avoid things they aren’t good at, but some clients expect every working girl to be skilled at every specialty of every porn starlet he’s ever seen, even though the stars themselves aren’t!  Then, some clients want to try things which look easy on film, but are difficult in real life; or they forget that when porn actresses say how great something feels they may be ACTING, and in reality that position or activity might be uncomfortable, unpleasant or even acutely painful for the woman.  Finally, some men forget about the safety factor; porn actresses know their coworkers and are surrounded by chaperones, and they’re all regularly tested for diseases.  But hookers are alone with men they do not really know and are therefore not usually willing to participate in activities which may risk their safety (such as choking or bondage) or health (such as ingestion of semen or “bareback” penetration).

Obviously, most girls don’t mind catering to reasonable porn-inspired requests; I never minded guys giving me “facials” or ejaculating onto my tits, and I pretty much expect to be slapped on the rump periodically when being taken from behind.  Many girls even specialize in the “Porn Star Experience”, an energetic performance which includes such porn staples as cowgirl, deep throat, loud noises and dirty talk, etc.  But porn can also have a more widespread effect; it was after porn models started shaving or waxing off all of their pubic hair that many strippers and escorts followed suit and many clients came to expect it, and since the advent of “squirting” videos (showing women expelling fluid due to “G-spot” stimulation) a lot of girls now advertise themselves as “squirters” and some men will seek them out.

Rocco Siffredi, one of the most popular creators of the milder sort of misogynistic porn

But in the last decade or so a lot of porn has been getting a lot more misogynistic.  Now, hear me out; y’all know I don’t use that word lightly.  I don’t simply mean (as the neofeminists do) that the on-screen whores are catering to their on-screen male partners or off-screen male customers; that isn’t “misogyny”, it’s simply good business.  Nor do I equate onscreen male dominance (either implied or overt) with “misogyny”; as a sexually submissive woman I recognize that domination does not automatically imply hatred, no matter what the neofeminists (and even many mainstream vanilla women) seem to believe.  I and many other women are strongly aroused by the fantasy of  being captured, controlled, forced and/or enslaved by men, even to the point of being whipped; I therefore can’t see how it suddenly becomes “misogynistic” for a man to share that fantasy.  But from what I’ve seen, read and been told, a lot more porn is moving away from the stylized enslavement-fantasy of BDSM and toward realistic-seeming depictions of assault, violent rape and undeserved cruelty (including strangulation, mutilation, etc).  One popular subgenre shows forceful irrumation to the point of tears, gagging and even vomiting, which is definitely outside of my comfort zone.

Of course, this is all filmed under controlled conditions; the women are in no more danger than actors who are “murdered” in a thriller.  Even if their physiological reactions to being slapped, gagged, choked or whatever are real, there are still a dozen people standing around to stop things if they get out of hand.  But anything which appears in porn is going to inspire some clients to want to try it, and indeed there have always been some girls who will allow themselves to be choked, gagged or whatever.  The problem lies in the fact that, because of our prohibitionist laws, this kind of activity generally takes place nowadays outside of the controlled environment provided in the past by brothels.  As the prevalence of such practices increases, more and more girls will cater to them, especially girls in depressed markets like Dallas who are desperate to win a larger market share at any cost.  In an ongoing BDSM relationship such risky practices are at least bounded by procedures the couple has established (safewords, etc), but in a typical hooker/client session there is no established trust or procedure, and I cannot help but think that when an inexperienced dominant tries a risky behavior he saw in a movie on an inexperienced submissive he has just met, possibly even without securing her permission first, it is a recipe for trouble and possibly even tragedy.

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I am not bound to please thee with my answers. –  William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice (IV,i)

It’s time for me to answer reader questions again; keep ‘em coming, I’d like to make this a monthly feature!  This first one was imbedded in a long and fairly boring neofeminist diatribe:

If being a prostitute isn’t shameful, why don’t you use your real name and picture?

1)  Because there are far too many rabid lunatics like you around and I love my husband far too much to give any of you a chance to make his life more difficult.
2)  Because I don’t trust the self-proclaimed “authorities” any more than I would trust a dog to guard a steak.
3)  Because if I put a legal name and a distinctive face to my words I defeat one of my chief points, which is that prostitutes are no different from any other women.  If you know what I look like you also know what I don’t look like, and if you know my real name you also know what it isn’t; that allows you to mentally push me away, to pretend that I’m different and that you don’t know anyone like me.  But if I hide my identity I could be anybody: Your sister, your daughter, your friend, your neighbor or that nice lady you always see in the grocery store.  And that’s exactly what I want, because even if those women are not me they could share my profession.  We don’t have horns, cloven hooves or pointed teeth and we don’t abduct your children to sell them to “traffickers”; I guarantee you that unless you live in a town with under 1000 people there are at least a couple of us around, and if you live in an average-sized city there are dozens of us around, and there’s a good chance you know at least one of us by sight.  Let that sink in, and I hope it makes you very, very nervous because maybe then you’ll wake up out of this nightmare your brain appears to be trapped in.

What percentage of men see prostitutes?

It depends on who you talk to; estimates vary wildly, but the ones that sound about right to me claim that about 6% of men directly pay for sex “frequently”, 20% “occasionally”, and 69% at least once in their lives.  Considering that something like 67% of men have had extramarital sex at least once, those figures seem pretty credible to me.

What I find amazing is that so many people are so obtuse about the role prostitutes play in male infidelity.  Since only about 15% of married women cheat, many silly people conclude that either the men are lying when they say they have and/or the women are lying when they say they haven’t, because “all those men must be cheating with somebody.”  Just Google a few studies on infidelity and you’ll see what I mean; many commenters on such articles and even some of the educated idiots who compile the studies are so blinded by their monogamist bias that they are compelled to reach the incredibly naïve conclusion that each philandering man is paired up with one and only one adulterous woman, leading to the erroneous conclusion that either the male figures are too high or else  the female figures are too low.  None of these pundits can see the obvious explanation right in front of their faces; most male extracurricular activity is with prostitutes, each one of whom accounts for dozens of men!  In my busiest period (2000-2001) I alone had an average of 16 clients a week, at least 75% of them married.  And that’s just ONE whore; I can assure you the escort population of New Orleans could easily handle the 77% of straying husbands who weren’t paired up with straying wives.  This is actually good news for everyone; male readers can relax in the knowledge that, contrary to what the scare stories want you to believe, most wives really don’t cheat.  And female readers can take comfort in the fact that even if your husbands do get sex from somebody else, 77% of them are doing it with women who have absolutely no desire to break up anyone’s marriage.

Why does it matter what hotel I get to meet a provider? If I get a cheap hotel they don’t want to see me, but if I get an expensive one, there’s no problem.  Why is that?

There could be several factors at play here.  Part of it may be what I discussed in my column of October 9th:  If a man does not want to pay for a good hotel it could mean he cannot afford a good hotel, which means that the escort’s fee is also dearer to him than to a more affluent client and he will be more likely to try to get his “money’s worth” from her, thus making him far more demanding.  Also, allowing clients to hire cheap hotels attracts a poorer clientele with higher disease rates and less to lose socially if they cause trouble.

Another factor could be the escort’s belief in magic formulae (as discussed in my column of August 21st); some whores seem to believe that cops are too cheap to rent good hotel rooms and therefore cheap rooms are more suspect.  Nothing could be farther from the truth; police departments love to waste public money on prostitution “stings”, and the cost of even an expensive hotel room pales into insignificance beside the cost of taking a dozen cops off of real police work for hours so they can play sadistic sex games and ogle hookers.  And that’s assuming they actually have to pay for the rooms in the first place; some hotel chains let cops have rooms for free in the belief that it builds goodwill with them, and those with bluenosed management may actually let cops modify their rooms for “stings” because they want to discourage escorts from coming there once the word gets out.  Actually, in my experience mid-range hotels tend to be the worst; cheap ones have a “reputation” the cops want to avoid and some expensive ones refuse to allow police shenanigans because their upscale customers rightfully consider such activities objectionable and low-class.  If  you were a businessman paying $500 a night at a five-star hotel, would you want a mob of cretinous thugs playing “cops and robbers” down the hall from you?

Finally, snobby whores or those in the early stages of platinum pussy syndrome may think themselves too good to visit a Motel 6 or Super 8.  For myself, I wouldn’t see men who were staying in such places for the reasons already discussed in the first paragraph of my answer, but if a local client felt uncomfortable with an incall and merely wanted to rent such a room for a rendezvous I wasn’t too particular about it unless the place was a scary fleabag like the London Lodge or Tulane Motel.

You said most escorts don’t worry any more about getting HIV or other STDs by giving uncovered blow jobs, but what about colds, flu and other “regular” diseases?  Isn’t your risk of those higher without a condom?

As I discussed in my column of September 7th, the risk of oral transmission of HIV or hepatitis B is vanishingly low, and most other diseases have visible signs.  And while cold and flu-type diseases are transmitted easily even when there are no obvious symptoms, mere skin-to-skin contact involving hands, faces and other such areas will spread those diseases even if the man wears a condom from start to finish.  If you’re in bed with a guy you’re going to be exposed to his “common germs” no matter what precautions you take.  But since this does happen, I suspect escorts build up an immunity to such common pathogens; as a call girl I was in close contact with men from around the world, and I was sick less often than at any other time in my life.  I’ve never noticed escorts getting colds or whatever any more often than anybody else; in fact it seems to me that the people who get sick the most are the ones who are constantly “sanitizing” their entire environment with antibacterial products, thus robbing their bodies of the low-level exposure needed to build up antibodies.

That having been said, I did notice that I suffered from one particular condition more often when I was working than at any other times, and that was sore throat (and even laryngitis on a few occasions).  Part of this may simply have been due to abrasion during “deep throat”, but I suspect it was sometimes due to unknowing poor hygiene on the part of the client.  Think about it; we all know that the hands are the “germiest” parts of the body, and we’re told to wash our hands after using the toilet.  But I doubt many men wash their hands before urinating, so the bacteria on their dirty hands are transferred to the skin of their penises.  Thus, unless a man is freshly bathed when he visits a whore (or his wife for that matter) the exterior of his penis may in turn transfer that bacteria to the woman’s throat during oral sex and thereby cause minor infections.

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Marriage is a woman’s grave. –  Old Japanese saying

The subject of Japanese ideas about prostitution has come up in my writings, readings and discussions several times lately, so I will take that as a sign that it’s time to talk about the subject.  Obviously this column only gives me room for a very limited overview of the subject, but if anyone is interested there are numerous online resources which explore it in far greater depth.  The single most important thing to remember in any discussion of Japanese sexuality is that the Japanese are far more pragmatic about sex than we in the West; sex is not taboo in Shinto, and Japanese women are not brainwashed into thinking of sex as frightening, shameful or humiliating as are Western women.  The result of this is that prostitution, though certainly not a choice for all women any more than it is in the West, is not viewed as an inherently degrading profession and historically might offer considerably more freedom and status to women than they would find inside the traditionally rigid and formal Japanese marriage.

Until 1617 prostitution was completely legal in Japan, but in that year the Tokugawa Shogunate issued an order restricting prostitution to certain areas on the outskirts of cities.  Yujo (“women of pleasure”) were licensed and ranked according to an elaborate hierarchy, with oiran (courtesans) at the top and brothel girls (who were essentially slaves) at the bottom.  These “red-light districts” were not implemented for the moralistic reasons which spurred their creation in the West, but rather to enforce taxation and keep out undesirables such as ronin (masterless samurai); prostitutes were also not allowed to leave the district except under certain rigidly-controlled circumstances.  Soon the districts grew into self-contained towns which offered every kind of entertainment a man might want, all entirely run by women.  Once a girl became a prostitute her birth-rank ceased to matter, and her status was determined by such factors as beauty, personality, intelligence, education and artistic skills.  Even among the oiran there were ranks, of which the highest were the tayu, courtesans fit to entertain nobles.  On the other end of the scale, the services of brothel girls were available even to foreigners; in earlier times these were mostly Chinese and Koreans, but later Indians and Portuguese as well.  Some of these hapless whores were even sold into slavery to the Portuguese, who either used them as sex-slaves on their ships or resold them in Macau, Goa and even Brazil.

The oiran, on the other hand, enjoyed a status far greater than that of married women, just as the hetaerae of Ancient Greece and the cortigiana of Renaissance Italy did (and for the same reasons).  Unlike their Occidental sisters, however, the oiran were not brought down by patriarchs jealous of their power, wealth and influence but rather by their own high standards.  Because they were isolated in the “Flower and Willow World” (as their subculture was called) their customs, fashions, manners and even language remained static and became increasingly formal; they required a formal invitation from clients and would go forth to see them in elaborate processions accompanied by servants.  Their costumes became more and more ornate, complex and proscribed and even the entertainments they offered were only those which had been practiced for centuries.  Eventually they became so detached from the world of men that not even the nobles could relate to them any longer, and by the early 18th century they were supplanted by a new society of courtesans, the geisha; the last known oiran died in 1761.

Though the geisha wore simpler versions of the fashions created by the oiran, they made an effort to remain approachable by speaking in the vernacular dialect, practicing the popular  entertainments favored by their clientele and making themselves available to casual visits from customers.  They soon replaced the oiran entirely and became so popular by the late 18th century that they were often hired to entertain at banquets and other events outside of the walled pleasure districts, thus running afoul of government regulations and exposing themselves to arrest and forcible return to the districts.  But since their popularity continued to increase despite governmental crackdowns, laws were passed which allowed the geisha to operate outside of the districts on condition that they could not offer sexual services while outside.  By the end of the century geisha were legally distinguished from prostitutes and forbidden to sell sex at all, though of course many continued to do so just as prostitutes under every prohibitionist regime do.  The tradition that “legitimate” geisha do not sell sex dates from this period, and to this day many people both in Japan and abroad insist that geisha are not prostitutes, despite a controversial 1872 law which proposed to apply the term “geisha” to all prostitutes and the existence of diaries from the women themselves dating as late as the 1930s which speak of selling sex.  The safest assumption seems to me that, though geisha were legally prohibited from prostitution and publicly avowed that they never practiced it, in actuality many of them did just as many women of every time and place do.

After Japan was opened to Western influence in the second half of the 19th century, the Japanese began to adopt more Western notions of control over prostitutes and passed a number of new laws which made it harder to do business even in the red-light districts.  This led to the trend of many young women from poor families who would once have gone to the districts seeking employment in China, Korea and Thailand instead; these women were called karayuki-san (literally, “Miss Gone-overseas”) and with them came a new profession for Japan:  The pimp.  These men made a career of recruiting poor young women, mostly from fishing families, and then arranging for their travel to Asian brothels (some even went as far as Zanzibar, Hawaii and California).  Thus as so often happens when governments enact laws to “protect” whores, it actually opens them up for exploitation by unprincipled men.  By the 1910s the Japanese government began to see this asjoshigun (“army of girls”) as shameful and damaging to Japanese prestige, and so enacted a series of initiatives throughout the ‘10s and ‘20s to bring expatriate Japanese prostitutes home.

Soon after this the Japanese began expanding their empire into Asia, and almost immediately discovered that sexually frustrated soldiers far from home have a tendency to rape local women and thereby breed resentment in the occupied territories; to prevent this it was decided to open military brothels (euphemistically referred to as “comfort stations”) staffed with Japanese prostitutes (“comfort women”).  But as Japan continued to expand its Asian presence, the military soon ran out of volunteers and began actively recruiting prostitutes in China and Korea.  When this strategy failed to obtain whores in the required numbers officials resorted first to misrepresentation (recruiting poor women as prostitutes throughout the Empire by greatly overstating the pay they would receive), then to deception (women were told they were being recruited as nurses or factory workers), and eventually to straightforward abduction.  It is estimated that about 200,000 women were enslaved in these wartime brothels, though many Japanese propagandists both in and out of the government claim the number was much lower (some claim as few as 20,000) and deny that any women were ever forced despite the testimony of thousands of victims.  Only 25% of the victims survived, and most of the survivors were rendered sterile by disease and physical trauma.  The issue remains controversial to this day, and historical revisionism of the Holocaust Denial type has become quite popular in recent years.

“Geisha girls” at a Tokyo brothel, 1948

One aspect of the “comfort station” practice which is rarely discussed, though, is that it did not end when the war did; its staff and clientele merely changed.  The Japanese government recognized that just as its own horny soldiers had tended to rape women in territories they had occupied, so the Allied troops now posed the same danger in Japan.  A government bureau whose English name was the Recreation and Amusement Association was therefore formed to set up and administrate “comfort stations” to service the occupying army.  The official declaration stated that “…we shall construct a dike to hold back the mad frenzy of the occupation troops and cultivate and preserve the purity of our race long into the future…”  The stations were abolished a year later, then in 1947 the act of recruiting women as prostitutes was made illegal despite the fact that the government itself was doing so the year before!  Though the official brothels were gone, independent Japanese prostitutes (who often dressed as geishas and styled themselves “geisha girls”) continued to do brisk business with the troops; the idea of injecting silicone gel into a woman’s breasts to enlarge them was first developed by Japanese doctors after repeated requests from hookers eager to enhance their desirability to American customers.  But whether because of rape, amateur activities or Japanese prostitutes being less scrupulous about condom use than their Western sisters, venereal disease rates among American troops soared and under intense pressure from the US, the Japanese government legally banned prostitution for the very first time in 1956.

Even in this case, however, Japan did things differently from Western nations.  Prostitution was defined only as vaginal intercourse for pay; every other form of commercial sex (including oral and anal sex) is completely legal!  Besides the usual array of call girls, escorts, brothels (including themed brothels where the girls dress as popular anime characters), strip clubs and massage parlors there are also spas and bathhouses where sexual services are available in addition to the mundane ones.  And though there are still a small number of geisha, the exclusive modern practitioners of the art absolutely disdain sexual services (unless kept by a patron) due to the desire to maintain tradition and to keep for themselves and the men who appreciate them a pale remnant of the once-extensive “Flower and Willow World” separate and distinct from the noise and bustle of the thriving Japanese sex trade.

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