Liz Brown recently published a roundup of efforts in various states to change prostitution laws, four of them for the better and two for the mostly-worse. Liz covers the developments with her usual thoroughness so the article is well worth reading in its entirety, but since there are several tags tracking these legal maneuvers, it doesn’t hurt to synopsize them here (along with a few comments of my own, and links to earlier stories about prostitution law changes in those states).
…Senate Bill 1204…introduced by state Sen. Carol Fukunaga…would repeal a section of Hawaii law criminalizing prostitution…and a section criminalizing “commercial sexual exploitation”…It would also repeal laws that criminalize “promoting prostitution,” “loitering for the purpose of engaging in or advancing prostitution,” “promoting travel for prostitution,” “street prostitution,” and soliciting prostitution near schools or parks…Another measure introduced by Fukunaga…would establish a working group to “study the effects of New Zealand’s model of decriminalizing prostitution on sex workers, their clients, and the broader community”…and “make recommendations for amending Hawaii laws to decriminalize prostitution”…
…Julia Salazar[‘s]…S4396…has attracted eight co-sponsors so far…[it] would repeal all parts of state penal law “that make sex work between consenting adults illegal”…[and] also repeal other statutes related to consensual adult prostitution…
…House Bill 6064 was introduced on March 3 and…would allow sex workers to come forward about crimes they witnessed or were victimized by without worrying that police would then arrest them for prostitution…or “procuring or attempting to procure sexual conduct for the payment of a fee,” loitering for prostitution, “soliciting from motor vehicles for indecent purposes,” or practicing massage without a license…
…H.372…has attracted 14 sponsors…and…would repeal the part of Vermont’s criminal code that outlaws engaging in prostitution, soliciting someone for prostitution, aiding and abetting prostitution, and related activities (such as permitting a place to be used for lewdness or prostitution and transporting someone to a place where they will engage in prostitution)…
Vermont’s current law actually defines all extramarital sex as “prostitution”, whether or not money is exchanged.
[Prohibitionist filth] Kay Khan…[is once again trying to] implement what’s known as the Nordic model of sex work laws, in which paying for sex is illegal but selling sex (at least under some circumstances) is not. The Nordic model…[i]s not recommended by human rights, health, or sex worker advocacy groups, since continuing to criminalize prostitution clients keeps the industry underground and leaves in place most of the harms presented by full criminalization. A recent study of sex work law changes in Europe found that…the Nordic model [is] associated with higher rape rates…
[Politicians] Page Walley…and…John Ragan…have introduced measures (H.B. 1383 and S.B. 0182), [basically similar to the one on offer in Rhode Island, with an important difference: they]…would also institute heftier penalties for people paying or attempting to pay for sex. Right now, the crime of “patronizing prostitution” in Tennessee is already a Class A misdemeanor, punishable by up to 11 months and 29 days in prison and/or a $2,500 fine. The…[new] law…would make patronizing prostitution a Class E felony, punishable by one to six years in prison and up to $3,000 in fines. Increasing…penalties for…customers doesn’t stop prostitution. But it may make customers more reluctant to engage in screening…and…other conditions that could increase sex worker safety, out of fear that doing so will leave a paper trail or otherwise make them more vulnerable to arrest…
My boyfriend of 3 yrs frequents local escorts and hookup websites and doesn’t erase his browser on our shared PC. I’ve confronted him about it and he threw the whole, “if you don’t believe me about not searching and what not then YOU have trust issues”. He even said he didn’t even know what site I was talking about. Lies. What’s your take on this? I want to trust him but this is a red flag.
Trust is not something that can merely be given; it must be earned. And your boyfriend doesn’t seem to be making much effort to earn it. While it’s certainly possible he’s just searching escort sites to look at the nude pics, it seems unlikely unless you know for a fact that he hasn’t got enough disposable income to actually hire escorts (and even then, it’s not like there isn’t plenty of free porn on the internet). And the “hookup” sites don’t even have that catch. Furthermore, while escort transactions are professional and therefore no threat to your relationship, the same cannot be said of amateur dating. But whether he is or isn’t stepping out is far less important than what I see as the real red flag here: his apparent lack of respect for your intelligence and sense. A guy who doesn’t erase his browser on a PC he shares with his girlfriend is either a fool or thinks his girlfriend is, and for him to respond to questions with weak denials tends to point toward the latter. As for “If you don’t believe me something is wrong with you”, that tactic is such a classic of beginner gaslighting it probably appears in Chapter One of Partner Abuse for Dummies.
Look, if he was merely masturbating to porn, I’d tell you it was nothing to be concerned about. And while it’s certainly possible that this is a similar fantasy-activity (because human sexuality is astonishingly varied and complex), his guilty reaction seems to hint otherwise. As I said above, it’s not that he’s looking at other women, which is typical male behavior signifying absolutely nothing other than that he has a penis. It’s that he reacted to your questions with lies and blame-shifting, which wouldn’t bode well even if it were about something other than sex. In fact, I’m going to suggest you think about your other interactions with him; is this the only area in which he seems to be behaving dishonestly, or is it part of a pattern? Because if you come to the conclusion that he cannot be trusted in general, not just about sex but about other aspects of your partnership, perhaps it’s time to consider whether the two of you may not really be right for one another. Because while breakups are never easy, they’re usually a lot easier (and far less acrimonious) at the 3-years-living-together mark than at the 10-years-married-with-children mark.
After three days of often graphic evidence, sex worker Madeleine Joan Lewin offered no explanation about what happened…the night Brisbane businessman Anthony Brady died…the 34-year-old, representing herself at her manslaughter trial…sat…silently throughout the proceedings…she did not cross examine any witnesses and did not give evidence or make a closing statement to the jury. It took the 12 jurors less than an hour to return a unanimous guilty verdict…Brady…[died] during a consensual bondage activity on the evening of August 12, 2020…[apparently from positional asphyxia as he] was found face down on the bed with a hood over his head, and handcuffs and bindings around his wrists and legs…Some of the bindings were difficult for police to remove…[and] Lewin had [fled the scene]…in a hurry…
…Several pregnant women and new moms accused of exposing their fetuses to drugs have been [caged] for weeks or months in…Etowah County [Alabama]…under special bond conditions that require rehab and $10,000 cash…As a result…Etowah County…often [cages] several pregnant and postpartum women [at a time], against the advice of experts on maternal and fetal health…“The stress and conditions in jail and prisons, including lack of consistent access to standard prenatal care and mental health care, poor diets, poor sanitation, infestations with bugs and vermin, poor ventilation, tension, noise, lack of privacy, lack of family and community contact, can be detrimental to physical and mental health which can result in poor pregnancy outcomes for both the mother and the baby,” [said prominent OB-GYN Dr. Carolyn] Sufrin…It’s difficult to know how many…women…Etowah County [victimizes in this way. Reporters]…found seven pregnant or postpartum women in a recent investigation of the jail log…National Advocates for Pregnant Women…have tracked more than 150 chemical endangerment cases involving women in Etowah County since 2010…
…one of Las Vegas’ premier strip clubs, Sapphire Las Vegas…[and] the Chicken Ranch, an unrelated…[Nevada brothel, have been targeted by a nuisance law]suit [filed by]…Morality in Media…and [fanatical anti-sex lawyer] Jason Guinasso…[with the help of two professional “survivors” who hope to profit from the dying “sex trafficking” hysteria by pretending they were] “sex trafficked in Nevada through legal strip clubs, including the Sapphire Gentleman’s Club”…Conflating all legal sex work with “sex trafficking” has been one of the key strategies used by [Morality in Media] in its ambitious quest to outlaw all consensual sex work, one of the group’s core goals…the organization…also planned to sue Steve Sisolak, the governor of Nevada; Aaron Ford, the state’s attorney general; the city of Las Vegas; and Nevada’s Clark County and Nye County. However, the court ruled that the plaintiffs did not have standing to sue those parties…
The FBI announced…that it had placed GirlsDoPorn owner Michael Pratt on its Ten Most Wanted Fugitives list, and doubled the reward for information leading to his arrest from $50,000 to $100,000…On July 26, Matthew Wolfe, Pratt’s second in command for the shuttered GirlsDoPorn website, pleaded guilty…to a single count of conspiracy to commit sex trafficking…Pratt, a New Zealand national, escaped the U.S. before federal charges against the company and its employees were unsealed in 2019…
A…[typical and representative] California [cop] has been charged [for] murder[ing]…a married couple…Devin Williams…was allegedly dating the female victim…Maria Tran and [murdered] her [and her] husband…Benison Tran [when he discovered she was married]…the pair’s 14-year-old-son…walked in on the crime in progress…Williams fled…but…turned himself in nearly 11 hours later…
Kristina Cruickshank…lost her unborn baby…in her 15th week of pregnancy…[she] was frail, vomiting and in pain when she and her husband, John, arrived at Houston Methodist Sugar Land on…June 3. She needed an abortion…but…it…was not clear whether Kristina was exempt from Texas abortion laws, which threaten providers with felonies and lawsuits for performing abortions except to treat a miscarriage or a loosely defined “medical emergency.” Her fetus still had a heartbeat, and she did not yet need life-saving care…So over the next three days, a sick and distraught Kristina was stuck in limbo, waiting…while an ethics committee reviewed the case…
Arkansas is one of a handful of states, and the only Southern state, that allows voters to directly pass laws and amend the state constitution by ballot referendum. Placing an initiative on the ballot requires collecting signatures from registered voters equal to 8 percent of the total votes for governor in the most recent election. Currently, that number is 89,151. In July, Responsible Growth Arkansas…submitted a [legalization] measure with over 190,000 signatures, more than twice the necessary number…[but] the State Board of Election Commissioners…denied the measure’s title and, therefore, its ballot eligibility…Responsible Growth Arkansas sued Secretary of State John Thurston…The Arkansas Supreme Court preliminarily ordered Thurston to certify the measure for November’s general election ballot but noted that it would not ultimately be able to hear arguments on the case until September…
The pursuit of sex buyers…functions…[by] targeting people in the sex trade and result[s] in forced evictions, deportations and police harassment. – Niina Vuolajärvi
Bound By the Cloak is a new-ish podcast whose tagline is, “Candid conversations about the unspoken”. Episode 6 is entitled “Grande Horizontale”, so you can probably guess who is interviewed in it. Give it a listen; I think you’ll enjoy it even if you’ve heard me talk about these topics before.
The European Sex Worker Alliance (ESWA) is circulating a petition in solidarity with Swedish sex worker activists fighting a politically motivated attempt to require mandatory jail time for their clients…the…threat…has been Trojan-Horsed into…a series of legal reforms [driven]…by various sex panics fostered by the press…
On April 8, a [man] and his teenage daughter were at a Dallas Mavericks basketball game…in Dallas. Just before halftime, the daughter left her seat to use the restroom. After she didn’t return, the father went to look for her and notified arena security, staff, and Dallas police of her being missing…lawyer Zeke Fortenberry…[claims] the family repeatedly called Dallas police to help find their daughter…[but] Dallas police…didn’t make any efforts to locate the girl…[so] the family reached out to a [rescueindustry group called] the Texas Counter-Trafficking Initiative…[which claims it] found [her pictures] on a[n escort] website…in Oklahoma City…and…Oklahoma City police…[found her] at an Extended Stay America…on April 18 and several people were arrested…Fortenberry [was quick to point fingers at]…the Dallas Mavericks…the [stadium, and the hotel, using the required “]failed to protect the victim[” language indicating he plans to sue them and]…Dallas police [using the novel legal construction of vicarious liability which has become popular among ambulance-chasers]…
A pastor [named]…John William Lovelace…in Ayden, North Carolina, was charged…with [various crimes of rape and sexual assault, and]…is also facing two counts of statutory [rape of] a child under the age of 15…
Drug-reform advocates, doctors, and politicians have initiated a ballot measure, Initiative 1922, to remove the penalties for possessing drugs of any kind in the state of Washington, including cocaine, heroin, and hallucinogenic mushrooms. Led by a coalition group called Commit to Change WA, the proposed [measure would also]…dedicat[e] $141 million…each year to substance use treatment and prevention…the funds…would come from cannabis taxes the state is already receiving…Sponsors of the initiative have until July 8 to collect almost 325,000 valid signatures of registered Washington voters to qualify for a spot on the statewide ballot in November…
Tennessee [screw]…Michael Vernon White, has been charged with possession of “hundreds of items” of child porn…[discovered] after an Internet service provider detected and reported multiple uploads of sexual images and videos depicting young girls. The number associated with the uploads was linked back to White…
An…NYPD [cop named]…Kevin Marcial…was suspended…following…his [attempt to shoot his] girlfriend’s husband [after he saw the latter behind him in traffic]…Marcial turned around and fired a shot at the [husband, but missed]…The outraged husband showed up later at a nearby police station and reported the [attack], as well as Marcial and the love triangle. Cops at first [refused to] believe him, but the husband gave [them] the…license plate number, which they traced back to Marcial. A shell casing was also found at the scene…police reached out to Marcial, who, with his lawyer, [later] surrendered…An NYPD spokeswoman s[pun this as] Marcial “self-report[ing]” the shooting…
It is difficult to imagine a situation in which parents would demand to see the driver’s licenses of neighbors handing out candy to trick-or-treaters. – Jacob Sullum
The U.S. Supreme Court…declined to hear Louisiana’s appeal of a decision against its 2006 law requiring that people [condemned to] the state’s sex offender registry carry IDs or driver’s licenses that say “SEX OFFENDER” in orange capital letters. A year ago, the Louisiana Supreme Court concluded that the requirement amounted to compelled speech and could not be justified by the state’s legitimate interest in protecting public safety…registries…are primarily punitive, exposing registrants to ostracism, harassment, and violence while impeding their rehabilitation by making it difficult to find employment and housing…Louisiana’s experiment in ritual humiliation, which branded registrants with orange letters they had to display in every transaction that required producing a government-issued ID, compounded those costs without offering any plausible benefits…
Louisiana even condemned sex workers to this “registry”; at one time, fully half of New Orleans’ victims of this monstrous punishment were sex workers.
An off-duty cop has been charged with raping his girlfriend inside their Queens home…[on] Sept. 7…The girlfriend appears to have contacted police [last] week, with [rapist cop] Gilberto Salazar-Giraldo…arrested [on October 4th and]…suspended without pay…
[The Ohio Supreme] Court found that a woman can’t be charged with possession of drugs…just because she and her newborn had drugs in their systems…Kelly Foreman appealed her conviction on felony drug possession charges, which he was charged with after giving birth in March 2018…she was not “in actual or constructive control of any drugs”…and…the high court found that tests proving the presence of cocaine were “insufficient to prove that she possessed cocaine in Seneca County”…The court opinion said the argument that possession could be established through urine or umbilical cord testing leads to the possibility that a person could be charged with possession anywhere they test positive in the state, no matter where the drugs were when they were taken…
…Matthew Kinne…a…[typical and representative cop] in…Oxford [Mississippi, knew that his mistress]…Dominique [Clayton] was home alone th[e]…night [of 18 May 2019], as her children were spending the weekend with a relative. At the end of his shift, Kinne went…to a barn where the police horses were kept and left his mobile phone there…so that his movements could not be traced. He…park[ed his pigmobile] around the corner [from]…he[r] home…[entered her bedroom] at around 2.05am…[and] shot her…in the head…Kinne [then] drove back to the barn to collect his phone and texted her at 2.20am as though nothing had happened…
Ten…[legal minors officially missing in]…Ohio [records were located when] authorities conducted [a record review similar to one last year, bizarrely referring to it as an] anti-human-trafficking operation…[and linking it with] the [unrelated] arrests of 161 people [in typical prostitution stings. Cops also abducted one sex worker’s]…2-year-old [child]…The weeklong [pogrom] involved over 90 [pigs and spooks, oinking, grunting, and rooting in people’s private business, ruining lives to get about 50] misdemeanor [charges. Among those arrested were] 51 [legal minors, some of whom were accused of selling sex to survive]…
Seattle just became the largest city in the country with a hands-off policy for…natural psychedelics…[after] the city council unanimously approved a resolution that says “the investigation, arrest, and prosecution of anyone engaging in entheogen-related activities should be among The City of Seattle’s lowest enforcement priorities”…[but does not impose] that…as [SPD] policy…The new policy…[only] applies to…”living, fresh, dried, or processed plant or fungal material”…[but not lab-made substances such as LSD or MDMA]…Seattle joins several other U.S. cities in urging [cops to] tolera[te] psychedelic use. In 2019, Denver voters approved a[n]…initiative that made adult possession of psilocybin the city’s lowest law enforcement priority and prohibited the use of public money to pursue such cases. Last year, the city councils of Ann Arbor, Michigan; Oakland, California; and Santa Cruz, California, enacted similar measures…An…Oregon ballot initiative approved in November decriminalized low-level possession of drugs, including psilocybin and other psychedelics…
Seattle’s resolution, unlike Denver’s, does not deny cops funds to persecute drug users, which renders it dependent upon voluntary cop cooperation.
Local busybodies in Campbell County, Wyoming, are trying to brand children’s or young adult books about getting pregnant, sex education, and being gay as illegal obscenity…books reported to [the cops] include How Do You Make a Baby? by Anna Fiske…Dating and Sex: A Guide for the 21st Century Teen Boy…the teen sex-education book Doing It by Hannah Witton, This Book Is Gay by Juno Dawson, and Sex Is a Funny Word by Cory Silverberg. The latter—an award-winning children’s comic book on the American Library Association’s 2016 Reading List—discusses concepts such as sex, gender identity, “privacy, safety, and respect,” “protecting yourself against unwanted sexual touch and abuse,” and “boundaries regarding nudity”…The…disturbing element here is…that [rather than leaving these matters to actual experts]…prosecutors are [actually] reviewing the case…
My marriage has been sexless for last 20 years. During that time I’ve been fortunate enough to find three married lovers, but nothing recently despite dating sites. I did search “escorts” but I’ve never paid for sex and can’t contemplate $750 an hour for those I saw on these sites. However, I’ve heard housewives selling sex for money are much cheaper; how do I reach these?
Hire. An. Escort.
You are going to get caught if you keep playing around with amateurs, and unless you’re looking in NYC or at porn actresses, escorts aren’t charging $750/hour. I’m “high end” and I charge $400 for one hour, $1200 for a four-hour dinner date; that’s pretty typical in most sizeable US cities. I wrote an article for Reason a couple of years ago with advice on finding a good pro; I suggest you follow that advice before you get caught. And I guarantee you a divorce will set you back more than a few hundred bucks once or twice a month.
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)
…a Florida man held his wife’s lover at gunpoint and cut off the man’s penis before fleeing with the flailing appendage…Alex Bonilla was arrested hours later…Bonilla broke into his neighbor’s home…tied the neighbor up and mutilated his genitals with scissors…then took the severed penis and fled across the street to his own house…Bonilla caught his wife and the victim having sex in May…
I’m sure that from now on, whenever he wants to have sex, this dude will think of how much money he saved getting “free” amateur sex.
Jason Miller, the former communications chief for the Trump campaign and transition team, said he hired numerous prostitutes and visited “hand job” massage parlors as recently as a few months ago…Miller made the [incredibly mundane statement] while testifying…in connection to his lawsuit against the digital media company Gizmodo …The suit accuses Gizmodo of defaming Miller with a story citing an allegation he slipped an “abortion pill” to a Florida strip[per] he impregnated….Miller denies the allegation…
Two teenagers have been [arrested] by police [at] a property that was involved in the “sex industry” [in]…Bedfordshire…five [adults] were [also] arrested for suspected human trafficking offences…They have been released on…bail…[except for one] man [charged with]…drug…[possession]…and [the]…teenagers [held without bail under pretense of]…safeguarding…Det Insp Katie Dounias [vomited up a lot of Swedish poison about]…exploitation and human misery…
On Saturday, July 13, 2019, a dozen prostitutes gathered before the Court of First Instance of Tetouan [Morocco] to protest against the Chief Commissioner of the city of Martil, Abdelouahab Tahiri…[who] launched a [series of pogroms] against the brothels and against the prostitutes who work in the city…The King’s Prosecutor was quick to [suppress] this demonstration, ordering the arrest of prostitutes and opening an investigation into the origin of the protests, in particular the involvement of drug barons and pimps…
Note that in Morocco, as in the US, prohibitionists pretend women can’t possibly be intelligent enough to demand our rights; whatever women do must be planned and organized by “pimps”.
A…youth pastor who worked at a megachurch owned by his parents got just three years in jail…for sexually abusing a teen girl. Jordan Baird…[got] his light sentence [via plea bargain even though]…she wasn’t even his only victim…”There were other underage girls and young adults, two of whom spoke at the sentencing hearing. Last year, Baird was convicted for sexually abusing Morgan Harding who was also 16 at the time…Baird was sentenced to eight months in prison in that case and was forced to register as a sex offender“…
This hodgepodge of idiotic lies, myths, wild exaggerations, wanking fantasies and long-debunked propaganda was shoveled into a column by Business Insider and presented as “surprising facts and statistics”. You’ll recognize most of it, but my favorite is the claim that “In 2015, five out of 10 of Homeland Security’s ‘most wanted’ sex traffickers were from Tenancingo…There were estimates that one in 10 people from Tenancingo were involved in trafficking.” In truth, the actual number of “traffickers” was two, and the actual number of “victims” 26; the operation ended in 2011, four years before the claims that “1 in 10” people were involved (the actual population of the town is about 10,000). When I point out that this article appeared in the same publication only 5 days earlier, you may understand why this appears under this particular heading.
In one year, Democrats will choose their choice for president, right here in Milwaukee. But big events like political conventions come with a dark side…as tens of thousands of people plan to descend on the city [like locusts]…Emmy Myers of Lacey’s Hope Project [vomited]…“We want people to know that these victims that may be at the DNC or any other large gathering are going to look like normal people [even though they’re really subhuman whores]”…“Paid sex is forced sex. You are paying to rape someone” [she fantasized, moaning with her hand in her pants]…
Don’t worry, Republicans; if the past is any indication, your convention will also be the subject of similar prohibitionist masturbatory fantasies.
…Like the iris or fingerprint, our unique cardiac signature can be used as a way to [identify] us…Crucially, it can be done from a distance…Other long-range biometric techniques include gait analysis…But…cardiac signature…remains constant and cannot be altered or disguised…A new device, developed for the Pentagon…can identify people without seeing their face[s]: instead it detects their unique cardiac signature with an infrared laser…it [currently] works at 200 meters…[but] longer distances could be possible with a better laser…the new device, called Jetson, uses a technique known as laser vibrometry to detect the surface movement caused by the heartbeat. This works though typical clothing like a shirt and a jacket (though not thicker clothing such as a winter coat)…
Four months after disbanding the Columbus police vice [gang], Interim Chief Thomas Quinlan is bringing…it back in a new format [designed to distract the attention of the gullible]…The [gang] will…rotate [cops] in and out to [supposedly] prevent [them] from becoming too comfortable with each other…the [gang] will have specific directives and…supervisors [just like all the other cops who go arounf robbing, raping and murdering people]…Former [gang member] Andrew Mitchell is currently under federal indictment [for raping] at least two women [and murdering]…Donna Castleberry [when she resisted his attempt to rape her]…
…a senior executive in the nation’s second-largest private prison company went to [ICE] with a desperate plea: to pick up their multimillion-dollar legal bills. Over the last five years, a series of people formerly held in GEO Group’s private immigration [prisons] have sued the company over [their enslavement while]…detaine[d]…[those] who refuse [are locked in] solitary confinement. Half a dozen suits are challenging the [enslavement]…and seeking damages for detainees from GEO and CoreCivic, another private prison company…[because] the [schemes] break a landmark law against human trafficking…
A [Merseyside cop] who stopped women [using the pretext of] speeding and then used official records to target them for [rape] has been [given a slap on the wrist]. Ben Murphy…would give women smaller penalties, such as for not wearing a seatbelt even when they were, to gain their trust. He [then stalked his] victims on social media, before using police records to contact them…He targeted at least [ten women before being] reported to an MP by a nurse…he [targe]ted in November 2017, triggering a police investigation…Murphy was jailed for [a mere] two years and four months…
An unofficial commemorative coin has been circulating among Border Patrol agents at the U.S./Mexico border, mocking the task of caring for migrant children and other duties that have fallen to agents as families cross into the U.S. On the front, the coin declares “KEEP THE CARAVANS COMING” under…a caricature of the “caravan” from last fall, which started in Honduras and attracted thousands of people as it moved north…The coin’s reverse side features the Border Patrol logo and three illustrations: a Border Patrol agent bottle-feeding an infant; an agent fingerprinting a teen boy wearing a backwards baseball cap; and a U.S. Border Patrol van…
How can I convince my wife to see an escort with me?
The short, pithy, and not-entirely-accurate answer is, “You can’t.” Now, hear me out; I’m not just being a killjoy. That answer is based on some assumptions, hence the “not entirely accurate” descriptor; if any of these assumptions are incorrect, the short answer also might not be. However, I’m willing to bet that even as it is, it’s hovering around the 75th percentile of applicability.
First of all, if your wife were the “game for anything” type, you probably wouldn’t have asked me this question; the two of you would’ve already discussed it, and even if she said “no” prior experience would almost certainly give you a hint as to how to proceed in convincing her. I’m also going to assume that she has never expressed a strong interest in bringing another woman into bed with you; if she had, it would’ve been a simple matter for you to say, “That sounds like a great idea, but we should probably just hire a pro so as to avoid awkward situations with friends and the uncertainty & weirdness of trying to pick up a gal together at a bar or party.” I’m even going to assume that she has not openly (or even coyly) expressed a desire to “spice up” your sex lives, because that would’ve given you an opening to suggest something. No, I’m going to assume that you’ve had a pretty vanilla sex life so far, and that you have a fantasy of being in bed with two women that she doesn’t (to your knowledge) share. And if that’s the case, please reread the first line of this column.
Now, there are a few caveats; you might try making a kind of vague suggestion about spicing up your sex lives, and see where that leads you. But before you do that, I need to give you two warnings:
A) It’s not unusual for vanilla amateur women to react to such a suggestion by taking it personally and getting angry at you for insinuating that your sex life is boring; the mere suggestion may precipitate an argument in which work, children and the fact that you don’t pay much attention to her any more will almost certainly be mentioned.
B) Even if A doesn’t happen, most vanilla amateur women’s idea of “spicing things up” is a “romantic” (and much more expensive than hiring me for two hours) vacation to a quaint little bed and breakfast. Or Hawaii. During which you may or may not have the same kind of boring sex you’ve had for years, only in a different (and much more expensive) bed.
Do I sound a bit jaded? You’ll have to forgive me; even before I was a professional I had a long history of being “the other woman” (for partners of both sexes) and the understanding friend who consoles people over their romantic difficulties. And I’ve seen this script played out on a regular basis since 1983. The sad fact of the matter is, the majority of modern American women have been thoroughly brainwashed into the belief that male sexuality is inherently pathological, and your desire for variety will be dismissed as a sign that something is wrong with you and/or that you don’t love her any more. Please don’t take this as meaning I’m letting men off the hook; there are plenty of things men could do to improve their marriages, but that wasn’t the question which was asked. And though men are usually more receptive to trying out their female partners’ fantasies than vice versa, that isn’t necessarily the case if said fantasy threatens his delicate ego in the same way that a man’s desire for variety can threaten a woman’s sense of security. Furthermore, I can assure you from both personal experience and the experiences of female friends, vanilla men are every bit as likely to be squicked out by kinky fantasies they don’t share as vanilla women are. My advice to any man who wants to be in bed with two women is, unless your wife has clearly expressed interest in such a thing, just ask an escort to arrange a duo for you; you’ll get what you want without drama, and it’ll be a lot cheaper in the long run.
Russian President Vladimir Putin…half [joked]…that…Russian sex workers are “of course the best in the world”…but…Russia’s regressive policies on sex work, LGBTQ people, and sex education are counter to good health. LGBTQ people are stigmatized and discriminated against and face grave violence, sex work is prohibited, the most effective HIV prevention strategies for people who use drugs are against the law, and comprehensive sexuality education is not offered in schools…
The National Network of Sex Workers has released a statement challenging the conference being organised by the “The Coalition for the Abolition of Prostitution International”…The statement has been signed by over 2000 sex workers in India who reject the conflation of trafficking with sex work, and the conflation of sex work with violence. It calls for…an end to the use of morality to stigmatise and discriminate against sex workers…
…a new report from 2016 [redefines criteria to claim that] the number of human trafficking cases in [Florida] doubled in the last year…Florida’s reputation as a tourist destination means traffickers respond to the demand for sex tourism by trafficking victims to the state during tourist season…[prohibitionist] Bethany Gilot [publicly fantasized about]…the prevalence of sex tourism in the region…
…Donald Trump signed [an] executive order…reinstating a ban on international aid…to nonprofits that provide abortions or promote information on them, regardless of what other services they offer…A…group of more than 100 public health, women’s issues, and civil liberties organizations have already issued a statement opposing the return of…”the global gag rule”…[the policy is very much like] the anti-prostitution pledge…[which] stipulated that no grant money could be used…to “provide assistance to any group or organization that does not have a policy explicitly opposing prostitution”…
A woman accused of trafficking a Nigerian woman into the country and forcing her to work as a prostitute has claimed that the alleged victim was having an affair with her husband…The complainant previously told a jury that she underwent a “voodoo process” in Nigeria during which she swore she would not report the alleged trafficker, Joy Imasogie…once in Ireland she had to have sex with up to 10 men a day to pay off a €50,000 “debt”…arising from her being brought to Ireland…Imasogie said sometimes the woman would come to her house to do her hair in exchange for food but denied making her work as a prostitute…she…also claimed the mother of the alleged victim was using voodoo to take her husband away from her but “did not succeed”…
The Crisis Center of Tampa Bay is urging you to drop an F-bomb. No, not the swear word. In this case, F stands for Friend…They’re using memes with a very serious message. It’s something we don’t like to think is happening in our community: kids forced to be sex slaves. But Florida is one of the top three states for human trafficking…Ken Gibson from the Crisis Center…says…“It’s little kids…who are being targeted by pimps”…
There was no dancing when deputies and code enforcement officers were at a strip joint called Icon. Except for the 20 or so officials, the club was nearly vacant…But the deputies didn’t mind the empty stage, as they were there to ensure that the club was in compliance with a new county ordinance requiring anti-human trafficking signs in adult entertainment establishments…
…University of Louisville…director of basketball operations Andre McGee hired strippers and prostitutes as a way of gaining favor with high school recruits from 2010 to 2014. The scandal broke wide open in 2015, when Katina Powell, who was in charge of organizing the women to bring to campus, published a book detailing the racket, titled Breaking Cardinal Rules: Basketball and the Escort Queen…
Jessica…McGraa’s death sent waves of horror through the sex work community across the UK. As an independent worker, advertising online, she was part of one of the fastest-growing sectors of the industry. Her story was close to home for thousands of people working in similar circumstances. How many of them would have called the police?…
Evan Cramer…pulled [a woman] over…for a minor traffic violation…[he said] she had multiple warrants out for her arrest and said she could avoid jail time if she [submitted to rape]…Cramer…then…[forced] the [woman] into his cruiser and [drove] her to a vacant lot where…he [raped her]…The woman then went to the hospital and reported the [rape]…
There are likely more than 313,000 victims of labor and sex trafficking in Texas, and roughly a fourth of them are children and people under the age of 26 who have been forced into prostitution…[fetishists] from…University of Texas…[pretend these wild exagerrations represent] “a conservative understatement of the prevalence of human trafficking in Texas”…
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Liz Brown recently published a roundup of efforts in various states to change prostitution laws, four of them for the better and two for the mostly-worse. Liz covers the developments with her usual thoroughness so the article is well worth reading in its entirety, but since there are several tags tracking these legal maneuvers, it doesn’t hurt to synopsize them here (along with a few comments of my own, and links to earlier stories about prostitution law changes in those states).
