It never surprises me when some new expression like “big dick energy” surfaces, because men all over the world are obsessed with their penises and wont to ascribe magical powers to them. And I don’t just mean stupid, brutish men either; even reasonably intelligent, sophisticated men seem to believe deep down that their phalluses are mighty weapons which contain their “manhood” and have the ability to damage women’s bodies and destroy our souls. And because the great majority of men believe in this idiocy, it’s unsurprising that many women do as well.
Take the myth that a lot of sex causes vaginal looseness, for example; barely a month passes that some lackwit advertises his deep insecurity online with a post or tweet claiming that whores, sluts and other “loose women” (see that word?) eventually develop extra-roomy vaginas due to frequent sex. Of course, this is completely idiotic; the vaginal walls are made of muscle, and when muscles are exercised they grow stronger, not flabbier. Furthermore, the dudes who believe in this silly myth seem to imagine that only penetration by different penises can cause this supposed loosening; frequent sex with the same penis causes no such damage, presumably because of some kind of mystical key-like effect. Well-meaning guys worry that their penises might hurt a woman, and even some MDs who should obviously know better have wasted their valuable time experimenting on sex worker volunteers to develop a therapy to “restore tone” to vaginal muscles. Well, I hate to break this to y’all, but no matter how big you think your cock is, it’s NOT AS BIG AS A BABY’S HEAD. It’s not a large amount of sex (with one penis, multiple penises, scads of different penises or even a sex-toy-store’s worth of dildoes) which causes a woman to loosen; it’s complications of childbirth. And if a woman has never had a baby, the only other thing that can affect tightness of those muscles is learning to relax. Most virgins aren’t somewhat tighter than experienced women because their muscles aren’t yet “worn out” (which is not a thing); they’re tighter because they’re nervous or scared from all the talk about how much it’s going to hurt, or because they’ve been conditioned that “good girls” don’t do that. And once they learn to relax they revert to their normal level of tightness. It’s not due to “stretching” or “overuse”; it’s due to getting over fear of the Dangerous Dick, and if a woman you’re fucking is too loose for you, it’s not because her pussy is too big; it’s because your dick is too small.
If this were the only silly myth about the destructive power of the Almighty Phallus, we could just laugh it off and mock the dudes who absurdly advertise their deep ignorance by attempting to lecture women on Twitter about the havoc wrought on their twats by daring to admit more than one dong in a lifetime. But there’s a much more dangerous notion, based in the idea that penises ejaculate ectoplasm in addition to semen, and can therefore damage women’s souls:
The dominant cultural narrative is that both men and women can get over just about any personal tragedy – financial ruin, the loss of a limb or a loved one, persecution by governmental authorities, etc – except rape, which if it doesn’t leave a woman a psychological wreck is supposed to at least cast a dark pall over the rest of her life…this [misogynistic] doctrine…portrays the penis as some sort of semi-divine instrument capable of destroying a helpless woman’s entire life at the whim of the man to whom it is attached… this absurd mythology…is so pervasive…that a rape victim who fails to behave according to the approved script may not be believed…
Really, guys; come in out of the Bronze Age. I understand that y’all get a lot of pleasure from your cocks, and that y’all only have enough blood to run one head at a time. But the big one gives you the power to understand that however much you may enjoy the little one, it’s just a boneless organ, not a magic sword.
Nice choice of illustration, but did you consider using this one?
It’s not exactly a rock carving; the sod is cut away to expose the chalky soil.
Speaking of dicks, do escorts care much about a clients “size”. As you say most men ascribe some magical to not only the fact of their penis but it’s size.
We care about the size of his budget, the size of his generosity and the size of his manners. The only time we might care about the size of his penis is if he’s at an extreme (immense or teeny) and wants to try to do something with it that it just can’t do (go someplace it won’t fit, etc) and then blames us for it.
The MD’s wasting valuable time on sex workers may be doing so to get a dollars from those funding the studies. The MD’s can buy new homes and cars exploiting the donor and subjects….
Unfortunately, there is a lot of that going around. A lot of “science” is actually people with little to offer to the field trying to make a buck. The number of papers I have had to reject as a reviewer because there really, really was no value in them at all is impressive. Interestingly, fraud seems to be relatively rare, it is mostly just bad science.
Well said. It is pretty hard to find stupidity and disconnectedness from reality that matches this one. Still, this is probably just another instance of people (here: men) with little to offer trying to elevate themselves above others. The human race has plenty of that.
I’ve never understood why men mindlessly claim to want to have these ridiculously large penises which would probably make sex very difficult and painful for most women? Would men really want to have a penis that is so long you can’t even get it all the way in during sex?
I also really don’t understand the latest “obsession” in a lot of younger men with anal sex with women? My theory is too much porn. Just seems stinky and unnatural to me, and considering how painful it is and the bleeding cuts I get if I get dehydrated, constipated, and push out a wad of thick hard marbles causing bleeding to my ass. I really don’t think most women want to do that to their rectum.
Not painful; they just don’t fit. Re anal, a lot of men who desire it want to run before they can walk. But re “stinky”…a lot of amateur women think they can join Cirque du Soleil when they can’t even waltz. Basically, it’s a higher-level activity and not for foolish amateurs with poor communication skills & little understanding of biology (him) or poor communication skills & bad hygiene (her).
Reblogged this on Success Inspirers' World and commented:
Maggie has written an interesting article; it debunks myths when it comes to women……
Men can be silly regarding their dicks. Margot blogged about “penis obsession,” mostly in regards to concern over their comparative size, shape, “grow vs show,” etc. I forgot where I read someone else, think she compared it to socks, about men thinking that cocks permanently change the tightness of a woman’s vagina. Really these things are remarked about all over, but it doesn’t seem to change anything. You lay everything out in logical arguments, maybe it’ll help.
The rape issue – that shit pisses me off, where supposedly there’s something wrong with you or suspect about the validity if you aren’t permanently traumatized. Considering how many women, sex workers and not, have to deal with rape, molestation, and sexual assault – how would we fucking be able to manage living if every one of these situations really permanently ruined every one of these women’s lives? One night, I had to deal with the situation. I cried on my way home, then moved on. Had to set up something else and go meet someone else. What else was I supposed to do or could I do? It only cropped back up when these men tried to sneak their way back into my life. Past that, a single mental flashback in a situation that felt unsafe and subsequently left. That doesn’t mean it’s invalid, didn’t happen. The misogyny factor, maybe that’s why men with these experiences are expected *not* to be upset about them, swept under the rug & never thought about nor spoken of again.
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