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Q & A (September 2012)

Posted in Miscellaneous, Perception, Q & A, tagged , , , , , , , , , on September 28, 2012| 67 Comments »

The liberally educated person is one who is able to resist the easy and preferred answers, not because he is obstinate but because he knows others worthy of consideration.  –  Allan Bloom

Only two questions this time, though both are fairly long ones.  If you have one you’d like me to answer, please email me at maggiemcneill@earthlink.net; I’m a bit slow with my correspondence lately but I should still be able to answer you within a few days.

I’m in my twenties and single, but very much do want to get married some day.  I know that as a wife it will be extremely important to keep my husband sexually satisfied as best I can; I also know that if I don’t, I’d much rather he meet his needs with a hooker than an amateur since, like you’ve mentioned time and time again, the former is likely to be discreet and not destroy my marriage.  However, even if I do perform my “wifely duties” well, do you think it’s still inevitable that a man is going to cheat for sexual variety?  And if so, how would one go about having a conversation about it with a husband prospect?  “I’d really prefer if you didn’t cheat on me at all, but if you do, please do it with a professional!”?  I feel like that’d encourage a man who wasn’t even thinking of such a thing to go for it!  I know this is probably a strange thing for me to be stressing over when I’m not even so much as engaged, but I’d love to hear your perspective!

No, it’s not inevitable; roughly 67% of all married men cheat, which still means about 1 in 3 don’t.  And you have to remember that those figures are for all marriages, with bad or inattentive wives mixed in with the good, attentive ones.  I would suspect that if we could figure out a way to only survey the husbands of good wives, that number would be much lower.  It would not, however, be zero; I suspect it would be something like 20%, the fraction of men who see whores “occasionally” (I don’t have any specific rational basis for this comparison; it’s more like an educated guess modified by instinct).  Given that, I don’t think it’s at all silly to have the conversation you suggest at some point.  I’m not suggesting you just blurt it out in the middle of sex or dinner, but sooner or later a related subject is bound to come up and you can segue into it.  He will almost certainly insist that he’ll never do that, and he may even really mean it at the time, but years later if he feels the need he may remember what you said and take the harm-managed path.  Don’t worry about “giving him ideas”; when it comes to sex people will invariably think of such things on their own whether you mention it or not.  Plus, you can certainly stress that you’re not exactly giving your blessing to his hiring hookers, but rather just telling him that the professional option would hurt you less and you’d find it easier to forgive.

Your stressing about it now is indeed “strange” in the sense of “unusual”, but not in the sense of “weird”; in fact, I think it’s a sign of remarkable good sense.  Most girls never even consider these things, and as a result they tend to react that much more badly when faced with the revelation that their husbands are not superhuman paragons of virtue.  In fact, I suspect that a young woman who can think so clearly about an emotional subject like this is much more likely to choose her mate wisely and to consider factors like economics and sexual compatibility rather than simply rushing into marriage in a biochemical haze, and that will dramatically increase your chances for a good match characterized by mutual honesty.

A little over two months ago, I met a whore with whom I share a social chemistry that I never experienced with a woman before, and I feel such intense affection for her that I equally look forward to our conversations after my basic physical need has been satisfied.  At the same time, I respect our professional boundaries; I feel scheduling an appointment with her once a month does the trick.  I have become much more responsible in my personal life. I feel better motivated to tackle life’s challenges, get my sleep and exercise, keep my space clean and organized, feel more at ease around others, and am more affectionate with my family.  I no longer feel as though I have resigned myself to a cheap substitute for a conventional relationship.  Even more bizarre, I have begun to feel that compensating a woman is more natural than conventional relationships.  Have I gone nuts?  Perhaps I’m romanticizing this too much?  Secondly, do you think it’s plausible for a whore to have such a quasi-intimate relationship with a client, genuinely feeling some affection for him that doesn’t cross professional boundaries?

Your question is kind of tangled, but I’m going to tease out what I think are the pertinent strands.  First of all, as I’ve written many, many times before, there really isn’t a bright, clear line between prostitution and dating (or even marriage) as people like to pretend.  All lasting relationships have an economic component, because once the flare of biochemical passion fades there needs to be something more substantial to hold the partners together, and mutual economic benefit is about as strong a glue as there is.  That does not preclude genuine affection, however; most everyone has had the experience of genuinely liking a customer, employee, boss or co-worker despite the fact that the relationship is primarily an economic one, and though I love my husband I also recognize that our socioeconomic arrangement is the bedrock of the relationship.  Expressed another way, economics is the cake, and love the icing, not the other way around as modern Americans like to pretend.  So, answering the last question first:  Yes, a whore can have genuine affection for a client and vice-versa, and since some whores feel no need for sexual companionship outside the job, I can’t see where the opposite couldn’t be true.

Next, you have to remember that the male need for sexual variety is pretty powerful, and more so in some men than others; though some men certainly yearn for a lifetime companion, others may prefer serial monogamy and still others may be perfectly happy with getting their sex from women and their companionship from deep male friendships.  The idea that every man (or every woman, for that matter) must or even should form long-term relationships that combine social, economic and sexual factors is asinine; though such relationships are often rewarding and are probably better for raising children than the culturally-available alternatives, that doesn’t mean they are right for everyone, or that everyone is going to crave them.  So no, you’re not crazy for finding your relationships with whores rewarding and satisfying; what’s more, you need to stop looking a gift horse in the mouth.  If you’re happier, better-adjusted and more productive now than you’ve ever been before, why question it just because closed-minded bigots might not like it?  The only person you have to please is you, and if you’re accomplishing that you’re in an enviable position.  Keep on the way you’re going as long as it works for you, and if you ever arrive at a point where it doesn’t any more you can calmly take stock of the situation and proceed from there.

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More Mentoring

Posted in Miscellaneous, Q & A, The Dark Side, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 25, 2012| 31 Comments »

The process of education in the oldest profession in the world is like any other educational process, in that it requires time and effort and patience; it can only be acquired by taking one step at a time, though the steps become accelerated after the first few.  –  Madeleine Blair

Here’s a recent reader letter and my response; for ease of reading I’ve split her question up into parts with my answers.

I’m seriously considering sex work but I live in a small Canadian city and want to be discreet; I’m also concerned about diseases, violence, the potential to be arrested and rape. How often, on average, would you say you had a difficult or creepy client?

It depends on what you mean by “difficult”.  There’s a certain small fraction of customers in any business who are just vexatious twits and can’t be pleased no matter how one tries, and a larger fraction who aren’t consciously trying to be difficult but end up being so anyhow.  In our business, the latter are the ones who are so nervous they don’t come easily, or who want to try every position in the bloody Kama Sutra, or who insist on sticking their tongues in your ear, etc.  But if you’ve dated a lot, you’ve already run into guys like that and it really isn’t any different; one simply has to do one’s best, try to keep them under control and soldier on.  If I had to hazard a guess I’d say 50% of clients are just normal (neither hard nor easy), 30% are very easy, 10% are annoying but not difficult and 10% difficult to one degree or another.

I can only do outcalls, so what should I expect from an agency regarding security?

The agency should allow you to talk to the client by phone beforehand to make sure the two of you hit it off; if they don’t allow that (for fear of your stealing calls) find another agency.  This is VERY important; talking to the client allows the girl to feel him out, to give her instincts a chance to work.  The two times I got raped and the one time I almost did, I did not talk to the client first; the first rape and the near miss were because of a language barrier, and the second rape was at a big multi-client party where I only spoke to the man who was arranging it but not the rapist.  In other words, I have never been raped by a client I talked to first.

The other thing an agency should do is know where you are (exact address) when with a client, check you in and out by phone, and have someone they can dispatch to pound on the door if you can’t be contacted at the end of the call.  Good American agencies also have a lawyer on call in case of police stings, but since escorting isn’t illegal in Canada you probably needn’t worry on that account (Canadian escorts, please correct me if I’m wrong on this).

What should I do before, during and after a client intends to rape me?

Talking to a client on the phone and being a real person when you’re with him humanizes you, making it more difficult for him to think of you as a thing to be used.  Furthermore, calling in right in front of him sends the message “people know where I am”.  Most clients are not any more dangerous than any other men you might meet, but you have to take these precautions EVERY TIME (no exceptions) because they help to reduce the chance of danger from that rare sociopathic individual who might hurt you.

If a client starts to do something you don’t like, try changing position and doing something else instead; if that doesn’t work say “please don’t do that” or “you’re hurting me” or some such; that will stop a normal man who is just getting carried away.  If it seems rape is inevitable, the most important thing is to keep your head; you mustn’t panic or allow horror stories to flow into your consciousness and cloud your thinking.  Feminists are fond of equating all rape with aggravated rape, but as one who has experienced both I can tell you that simply isn’t true; aggravated rape is terrifying because of the possibility of death or disfigurement, but “date rape” – in other words, unwanted sex which occurs in the context of a voluntarily-entered sexual situation – isn’t nearly as bad.  It’s highly unpleasant and may even be painful, but it’s not the worst thing that can happen to a woman.

The reason I’m saying this is not to downplay the wrongness of it, but to give you a sense of perspective so you can avoid panicking and reacting in a way that could make things worse.  If he won’t stop when asked and you can’t struggle free, it’s highly unlikely screaming or freaking out will achieve anything, either; tensing up will increase the chance of damage to whatever orifice he’s penetrated, and scaring him could provoke a violent reaction.  Your best bet is to relax as best you can and just let him get it over with, then get away as quickly as you can and go straight home.  Tell the agency what happened so he can be blacklisted; since you want to be very undercover about your work you probably won’t want to report it to the police (who probably wouldn’t do anything anyhow).  If you think you might be more than just bruised (or if he raped you without a condom), you should visit a doctor the next day.

I tend to gain weight on birth control, do you consider it an essential or are condoms okay on their own?

Condoms don’t break often, but if one did you don’t want to have to go through an abortion if it can be avoided.  If hormonal birth control doesn’t work for you, you should consider an IUD, diaphragm or Plan B as a safety net.

What types of diseases are most common and what should I be on the lookout for?

STIs are not common in the client base to which you will be catering, but that’s partly because escorts are so careful about protection and watching for signs.  There are websites which show graphic pictures of STD symptoms, but I honestly don’t think you need to look at them; any kind of open sore or lesion in a man’s genital area is a red flag, as are unusual odors (not just a normal man-smell) or discharge.  Venereal warts usually look like regular warts, but can sometimes look like nothing more than pimples, so I would advise getting the Gardasil shots if you haven’t already (just to be safe).  You don’t need to be obvious about checking; as part of foreplay just take a good look at his genital area, and if you see anything out of the ordinary don’t be shy about asking, “What is this?”  Men do sometimes have moles or skin tags even on the penis itself, but if it really is something like that he’s been asked by other girls before and will answer nonchalantly.  If he’s nervous and/or claims not to know what it is, you’ve probably got some kind of symptom on your hands and should NOT proceed, even with a condom; refund everything but your cancellation fee and advise him to see a doctor immediately.

What about kissing?

Kissing has become much more common in the past few years; it can’t be entirely avoided if you want to provide a GFE, which from what I know of your personality seems to be the style that would best suit you.  You won’t mind kissing some clients, and a very few are actually very good kissers; for the rest, one can usually lead most men into the style of kissing one prefers by example, and if a client is just a horrible, sloppy, invasive, tongue-y kisser who won’t be denied just move on to something else, like oral sex.

What were your best methods for figuring out what a client wanted?

Ask; it’s the only dependable way to know for certain.  Generally clients who want a specific thing will ask for it themselves; otherwise, just do what you would do for a boyfriend if you were in a generous mood and wanted to move him inexorably toward orgasm in the shortest possible time without looking as though you were in a hurry.  Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it very quickly, and if you think you’re revealing your inexperience just tell the truth, “I’m pretty new at this”; most men consider that a turn-on.

Are scars a bad thing?

I have several prominent scars on my left forearm, another on my left elbow, a long, thin one on my left knee and innumerable small ones in a number of other places, and I’ve literally never had a complaint; most clients don’t even notice unless they’re doctors, and even then they’ll only ask about it in small talk.  I suspect only large abdominal scars (such as from major surgery) would be an issue for most men.

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Sexual Healing

Posted in Call types, Perception, Philosophy, Q & A, tagged , , , , , , , , on July 17, 2012| 38 Comments »

When I was a call girl, men were not paying for sex.  They were paying for something else.  They were either paying to act out a fantasy or they were paying for companionship or they were paying to be seen with a well-dressed young woman.  Or they were paying for someone to listen to them.  –  Roberta Victor

I recently received an email from a gentleman with two friends, each with confidence issues that my reader thought might be ameliorated with the help of an experienced professional.  This is not at all unusual; in my early column “Madonna and Whore” I wrote,

I have gently coaxed sexual response from the impotent or inhibited, or those sexually shell-shocked by disastrous relationships; on a multitude of occasions I have provided a man with some sexual outlet he needed, yet for which he could not or would not ask his wife (usually because she had turned him down cold when the subject was mentioned).  I have given much-needed intimacy to men so deformed most women couldn’t bear to look at them, held men while they cried because they were too ashamed to do it before their wives, and played mother-confessor for a host of sins.  I have lent a sympathetic ear to clients’ problems, given them relationship advice, comforted them when they were in pain and reassured them when they were overcome by uncertainty.


I’m not remotely unusual in this respect; most whores can say the same.  Though prudish American culture prefers to deny it, sex has a powerful healing function (especially for men), and sex professionals can often do far more for a man than a doctor, psychiatrist or priest.  In addition to the basics like massage and release of debilitating tension we give virgins their first experiences with women, minister to the sexual needs of the disabled and even help to relieve stress in men who have suffered through traumatic situations; in the following questions we’ll look at two more cases in which a talented professional would be more therapist than tart.

My first friend is a gentleman in his late 40’s who has not been with a woman in the 3 years since his divorce.  His friends believe he is completely over his ex, but we have noticed an uncharacteristic lapse in his confidence; we’ve tried to reintroduce him to dating, but it’s as if he doesn’t remember how to behave around women and he pulls back within his shell.  Do you think it a good idea to arrange for a discreet professional to meet with him as if by accident and accompany him for an evening, but conceal the true reason for their serendipitous meeting?

Though you can probably find a lady who would be willing to playact with your friend, I’m not at all sure that would be the right thing to do.  I’m a big believer in honesty, and though there are certainly some circumstances in which duplicity for a good cause is acceptable, I honestly don’t know if this would be one of them.  My concern is that if he ever found out it could be even worse for his self-confidence, and there are a number of ways in which he could find out; it might happen during the date due to perceptiveness on his part or a slip on her part, and what happens when he asks for her phone number at the end of the evening (as he certainly would)?  Or what if he goes surfing escort sites (you may think he doesn’t, but what if you’re wrong?) and discovers her pictures online?  Spending an evening with an experienced call girl can do wonders for a man’s sexual self-confidence, but I honestly feel it’s better for him to know what’s really going on rather than being fed a fantasy.

My other friend is much younger (in his late 20s) and has almost the opposite issue; he gets so excited that he finishes much more quickly than he would prefer.  I shared with him some tips to calm himself, and though he said one of those suggestions has truly helped him it only increased his time from immediately to a few minutes.  His last girlfriend moved away and now he’s afraid to deal with another one because he doesn’t want to embarrass himself by “being so disappointing”.  He can’t really afford a sex therapist, so I was wondering if a lady of the evening might help him?  If so, should he let her know exactly what she’s signing up for? 

It’s possible you may already have corrected his problem.  You say he used to climax immediately, but now can last “a few minutes”; how many is a few?  Because as I explained in an interview with the London School of Attraction,  most women don’t want nearly as much actual intercourse as most men seem to think we do.  If your friend can go for five minutes that’s enough for most women, especially if he takes the time to give his partner all the foreplay she wants.  A good escort might indeed help him, but maybe not in the way you’re thinking:  she might be able to teach him to slow down if necessary, but more importantly she could help him develop his confidence and foreplay techniques, and let him know if he really is too fast or just thinks he is.

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More Terminology

Posted in Call types, Miscellaneous, Perception, Words, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 7, 2011| 34 Comments »

We cannot even reproduce our thoughts entirely in words.  –  Friedrich Nietzsche

My column of one year ago today, “Terminology”, was a glossary of terms used by whores and clients; many of them come from the escort review sites which have become very popular on the internet in the past decade.  Today I’d like to look at a few more such terms, including some that I’ve only learned since my first column on the subject; many of these are acronyms used by internet “hobbyists” in reviews, so I simply never encountered them until I started reading more about review sites and corresponding with internet independents.

BCD:  Behind Closed Doors.  This refers to the portion of a date which is spent in the bedroom, i.e. the sexual portion of a session.  It is thus used as a collective reference to sex acts (“BCD activities”) or by girls referring to special “meet over coffee” type deals (“no BCD time”).

BFE:  Boy Friend Experience.  It is obviously built on the pattern of “Girl Friend Experience”, which I defined in my previous column; a client might be described as a “BFE” if he’s very nice and easy to deal with, avoids being pushy or demanding, doesn’t haggle and tries to make the date pleasant for the escort by booking multiple hours, taking her to dinner and/or giving her a gift, carrying on an interesting conversation, etc.

CIM:  Cum In Mouth.  The use of “cum” to mean “semen” is an American vulgarism dating to the 1920s, and the extension of the vulgar spelling to the verb “come” (which has been colloquially used to mean “have an orgasm” since at least the late Middle Ages, just as the equivalent verb is used in other European languages) is more recent still, dating to perhaps the 1960s.  I don’t think I need to tell any female reader how much ejaculating into a woman’s mouth excites most men, but in the post-HIV world very few whores would allow this.  Unfortunately, as I discussed in my column of February 28th,

…in the last decade as escort review sites became steadily more common, many escorts wanted something which would set them apart from the competition.  But the trend really took off just over two years ago when the economy went belly-up; a lot of part-timers lost their regular jobs and therefore needed to bring in more money from hooking, and a lot of amateurs who had never before directly asked for cash flooded into Craigslist and Backpage.  The amateurs had no sense of appropriate professional conduct and the part-timers were desperate to make up the difference from their lost jobs, and so they started to offer things which, while not extremely dangerous like unprotected intercourse, were nonetheless more personal and “edgy” than what had been the norm even as recently as 2007.  And once that happened even many full-time professional escorts were forced to change their policies in order to remain competitive.

Though most escorts who allow this still spit or dribble afterward, there are some who offer “BBBJTCNQNS”, which means “bare back blow job to completion, no quittin’, no spittin’”, which I personally consider most unwise.

DFK:  Deep French Kissing.  Yes, we didn’t used to allow kissing, either; see the entry for CIM above.

DNS:  Do Not See.  Most often used in the formulation “DNS List”, a personal list of men an escort refuses to see because of personal experience, warnings from other girls or statements the listee has made on review boards:  “Any man with an attitude like that goes straight onto my DNS list.”

FBSM:  Full-Body Sensual Massage, a combination of therapeutic massage with sensual touching.  See also levels of massage.

FIV:  Fingers In Vagina, an activity which I’m far from alone in disliking intensely, though some girls do allow it.

LEO:  Law Enforcement Officer, i.e. a vice pig.  Sometimes “Uncle Leo”.

Levels (of massage):  A Level 1 (L1) massage is massage with a “happy ending” (i.e. hand job).  Level 2 (L2) massage includes a blow job, and Level 3 (L3) is full service.

Lurker:  A “hobbyist” who reads escort boards, but does not generally post on them.  Most of these are the good sort of hobbyists, unlike the bad ones who use their experience and that of others to learn how to cheat, manipulate and intimidate inexperienced escorts.

Manmades:  Augmented tits, often abbreviated MMs:  “Maggie has a spectacular set of manmades”.

NBA:  No Blacks Allowed.  Escorts with NBA policies will not see black clients for reasons I already discussed at length in my column for September 18th of last year.

NCNS:  No Call, No Show.  A client who neither showed for his appointment nor called to cancel; a deadbeat.

Nuru massage:  This is not “massage” in the normal sense, but rather consists of the masseuse erotically sliding her naked body up and down against that of her client with the assistance of nuru gel, an odorless, tasteless, colorless and extremely slippery gel made from nori seaweed.  The gel does not dry up and so must be washed off with soap and water; nuru massage thus always ends with a bath or shower.  Nuru massage originated in Japanese bathhouses, or “soaplands”.

Outing:  Publicizing the real name of a client or escort, usually to that person’s family; it is considered one of the most reprehensible actions of which someone is capable and will usually result in the total ostracism of the offender.

Roses:  A rather silly slang term for “dollars” used in the advertising of inexperienced low-end escorts:  “I expect a donation of 150 roses”.

Spinner:  A very thin, petite escort, so called because of the joke that a man can “pick her up and spin her around” while she’s doing cowgirl.

Time waster:  A man who has no real intention of paying for an appointment.  Some of them are lonely and just looking for conversation, and others might like to see a girl but are too nervous or frightened to follow through, but most are just cheapskates trying to get free wanking material.

TOFTT:  Take One For The Team.  This refers to a hobbyist taking the risk of seeing an unreviewed girl in order to report back to his friends about her.

YMMV:  Your Mileage May Vary.  This phrase, borrowed from American automobile advertising, refers to an escort whose performance varies considerably from client to client depending on how she reacts to each individual.

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Fictional Interlude: Ghost in the Machine

Posted in Fiction, Miscellaneous, Philosophy, tagged , , , , , , on August 23, 2011| 37 Comments »

One year ago today I published my second “fictional interlude”, which concerned an inanimate object endowed with a human personality.  Today I’d like to revisit that theme, but via the medium of science fiction rather than fantasy and set in the future rather than the past.  I hope you like it.

“Are you sure it’s safe?”

“Sure I’m sure.  Do you think I want to get sued?”

“I won’t be able to sue you if my brain gets burned out.”

“It’s just a standard psychograph like they’ve been using for over forty years,” Kevin said with more than a hint of annoyance.  “You’ve used one yourself for dubbing sentios.”

“Yeah, but you’ve obviously modified this quite a bit, and a standard psychograph can’t do what you’ve told me this is supposed to do.”

He sighed, and made an effort to be patient with her.  “You’re right, but all I’ve done is to increase the number and type of receptors and to develop new and dramatically-improved interpretation software.  The principle is still the same; it’s completely passive, and just records the electromagnetic impulses from your brain.  It’s a receiver only, not a transmitter.”

“OK, OK.  I get it.  But you can’t blame me for being a little scared.”

“I don’t blame you, Rachel, but you have to believe I wouldn’t have signed that contract with you if I wasn’t 100% sure this would work.  It’s a pretty sweet deal for you, after all; half the profit for just a few hours’ work.”

She leveled a mildly disapproving glance at him.  “Really, now.  It’s my name, my face and my reputation that’ll sell this thing, if it sells.  And it took me years to earn those.”

“I’m not denying that.  Let me rephrase it; you’ve already put in the work, and now you just have to invest a few more hours to cash in.”

“If it works.”

“Why shouldn’t it?  The principle of recording emotions and feelings isn’t new; all I’ve done is to increase the fidelity and multiply the number of channels so as to take a complete personality pattern.  Using that, I can program the simulacrum to act exactly like you, and think of how much guys will pay for their very own Rachel Summers sex doll.”

“But that’s just it, Kevin; I don’t think she will act exactly like me.  Despite the fact that changes in brain chemistry and physiology can strongly affect personality, we’ve never been able to locate a ‘personality center’ in the brain.  Lots of psychologists call personality an ‘emergent system’, something which arises from the neurochemistry of the brain and is contained within it, yet can’t be mapped in one-to-one correspondence with it.”

“Descartes’ ‘ghost in the machine’, you mean.”

“Descartes didn’t call it that, a 20th–century philosopher did.  Laugh if you want to, but I’m not the only one who believes that the reason true artificial intelligence has never been achieved is that the human brain is qualitatively different from a computer and engineers keep pursuing a quantitative approach.”

Though he disagreed with her conclusions, Kevin had to admit Rachel had a first-class mind in that gorgeous head of hers; it was obvious from her sentios, which is why he had approached her with this offer.  Lifelike sex robots had been popular for decades, but they had no spirit; they just did as they were told.  And while that was infinitely superior to the inert manikins of a century ago, he knew from talk on forums that the first company to produce a doll which could give her owner what the “hobbyists” of his great-grandfather’s day used to call a “GFE”, would become rich beyond the dreams of avarice.  Programmers had tried to develop an adequate personality simulation for the last decade, but it was no use; nobody had yet developed a robot which could convincingly mimic the personality of an affectionate human woman.  So Kevin had hit upon the idea of copying a personality rather than inventing one from scratch, and whose could be better than that of a golden-hearted call girl turned actress, beloved of tens of millions as much for her warmth and humanity as for her looks and sexual skills?

It would work; it had to.  “I don’t believe in the soul.”

She shrugged.  “It’s your money.”  Pouring herself into the padded couch, she lifted the helmet to her head and made herself comfortable as Kevin adjusted dozens of settings on the control panel, then signaled he was ready to begin.

Five and a half long, draining hours later, Rachel arose, stretched and announced that she was desperately in need of a steak, a baked potato and a large chocolate milkshake.  “How soon will you know if we need to do a retake?”

“About three weeks, I think,” he said.  “But I’ll let you know.”

She kissed him on the cheek and said, “I hope I’m wrong.”  But her eyes said, “I don’t think I am.”

Three weeks turned into four, then five; Kevin wanted to make absolutely sure he had everything right.  Finally, all the programming was done; it took a few hours to load into the simulacrum, and then he had to wait for agonizing minutes as her systems initialized.  Finally, her eyes snapped open, and she abruptly sat up on the table; though she was physically indistinguishable from Rachel, there was something subtly different about her he couldn’t quite put his finger on.  The doll had been programmed with every aspect of her personality; there shouldn’t be anything missing, no behavioral difference between this robot and the real Rachel.  And yet she somehow seemed…cold.  Soulless.  He pushed the unwelcome and unscientific thought from his mind and decided to test her responses; if there was a problem he’d discover it soon enough.  Better start with the basics, he thought, so he looked directly into the seemingly-human face and said “I’d like a kiss.”

Her mouth twisted into a half smile as she looked at him with queenly hauteur and asked dispassionately, “What’s in it for me?”

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July Q & A

Posted in Miscellaneous, Perception, Q & A, tagged , , , , , , , on July 30, 2011| 6 Comments »

Every question we answer leads on to another question.  –  Desmond Morris

It’s time yet again for me to answer reader questions; this time all three seem to have come from gentlemen with experience in hiring members of my profession.

Why do so many providers prefer doggie style?

I honestly wasn’t aware that a disproportionate number did, but if that’s your perception I might be able to make some educated guesses about why it might be so.  According to a recent survey sponsored by Lifestyles condoms, 40% of women prefer man-on-top (missionary) to all other positions, 26% like rear-entry (doggie) best, 20% favor woman-on-top (cowgirl), 5% like side-by side, 3% reverse cowgirl, 2% standing and the other 4% have no preference.  This is very similar to the figures which have usually come up in such surveys since the ‘60s, though doggie has gained about 11% and side-by side has lost about 5%.  Interestingly, though, other recent surveys of very young adults (such as this one whose respondents averaged 18-19 years old) show man and woman on top positions tied and doggie in the lead.  Why the difference?  Well, the second survey did not separate male and female responses, and older respondents are much more likely to be involved in long-term relationships than teenagers and so might prefer face-to-face intimacy.  Also, the influence of porn may inspire more young women to try “dirtier” positions than many of their mothers and grandmothers might’ve been comfortable with, and if one isn’t in love with one’s partner not having to look him in the face might be an advantage.

And that, I think, might explain why the escorts you’ve been with preferred this position; if you have a preference for young (under 30) providers they may already prefer the position even with boyfriends, and most of them would probably rather avoid any more face-to-face contact with clients than necessary.  Furthermore, “doggie style” allows a woman to avoid kissing and because 30% of men prefer the position to all others it may accelerate the customer’s climax.

I recently saw a new provider, and through a mix of nerves and excitement I came off very fast.  Once I did, I suppose it was almost an automatic response on my part to clean up and go.  All told, the visit was only about 15 minutes, and after I left I couldn’t help but feel I’d overpaid for the amount of time I was actually there.  I’m not the sort of client who expects 30 minutes of straight pounding, but is it a problem to try to stay after I’ve climaxed if I still have time, just to enjoy being in the presence of a woman?

It all depends on the woman.  Most experienced, respectable professionals in most markets expect the gentleman to stay the whole time and are happy to entertain him with conversation, stroking his arms, rubbing his back or whatever after he’s achieved orgasm.  Some women do indeed expect him to go as soon as he’s “done”, but they’re in the minority and if you find one you just have to consider it a lesson learned not to use her again.  In some markets (like Las Vegas), such rushed service is the norm but those are mostly big-city, high-volume, “fast and furious” type environments.

I was wondering if you could comment on deeper relationships between prostitutes and their clients.  For example, I can be good friends with someone I also have a business relationship with.  By its nature sex is more intimate than most exchanges.  Do you see where I’m going with this?  Can one become good friends with a client, or in the case of you and your husband, lovers?  How common do you think this is?  Is it something better avoided or embraced?

It’s not impossible for a whore to become friends with a client, but it isn’t common either and it takes a special man to make such a relationship work.  Whenever any professional (accountant, physician, lawyer or whatever) who deals with the public becomes friends with a lay person, growth of the friendship will be stifled (or an existing friendship choked) if the non-professional keeps asking for free or cut-rate services or other special privileges from the professional.  If I became friends with my manicurist and then started asking her to do my nails for free, or give me price breaks, or if I paid full price but kept “dropping in” for free repairs, or expected her to make time for me at the expense of other customers, how long do you think our friendship would last?  Yet many men will try to play those games with working girls and then refuse to understand why the girls don’t want to be “friends” with them.  An escort sells her time and companionship, so a guy who expects escorts to “hang out” with him off the clock is asking for free services no less than if he asked a doctor to diagnose his ailments at a party.

If a man has an escort he wants to be friends with, he needs to expect her to be wary of his motives.  Small gestures of friendship (thoughtful presents, offers of no-strings help that he knows she needs, an occasional email just to say “hi”) might help to overcome her reservations, and once a true friendship begins to develop he needs to be careful not to even seem to be looking for special privileges; asking her to come to dinner or “hang out” off the clock are a very bad idea.  If she offers, that’s different, but it has to come from her or it will be perceived as looking for freebies.  Some girls have inviolable personal boundaries that totally disallow friendship with clients, while other girls deal with the situation more organically; the only way to tell is to make the attempt.

One Year Ago Today

The third and concluding segment of “Genesis of a Harlot”, the story of my long journey into whoredom.

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Interview: Maggie’s Husband (Part One)

Posted in Biography, Call types, Perception, Philosophy, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on July 8, 2011| 57 Comments »

As a flower dies without water,
As the night is blind without the moon,
So is my heart without you, beloved.  –  from one of my husband’s love poems

On May 31st I asked my readers to submit questions for a collective interview with my husband; he read those questions and dictated replies to me, then I rearranged the questions and answers so as to provide a more logical flow, combining some answers and slightly rewording a few questions in the process. When answering one of the questions he suggested I provide a link to the column I did on the subject, and we decided I should do the same for other answers where appropriate.  One point of interest:  We’ve never been exactly sure who the mystery woman who steered him in my direction (see the first question below) was because he couldn’t remember which service he called, but I’m pretty sure it must have been Linda.  All the words in non-italic, non-bold type in today’s and tomorrow’s column are his.

How did you meet Maggie?

I was in New Orleans and was in the process of getting a divorce after finding out my wife had cheated on me, so I decided it would be fair for me to call an escort.  So I called an agency, and the woman said she didn’t take credit cards, but she referred me to another agency that did and it was Maggie’s.  So then I called and I asked for an older girl and Maggie said, “I’m 34, will I do?”  She sounded nice, so we worked out the details and she came over to my hotel (and then we played board games, because anything else would be unlawful).  One thing led to another, and the rest is history.

Have you always had respect for the working girls, or is this something Maggie gave you? Or to put it another way — before you met Maggie, could you have imagined being married to a hooker?

I have always had the same respect for working girls as for the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker; they’re just people making a living.  I saw other girls before I met Maggie, from streetwalkers to escorts, and I respected them as human beings and never thought of them as anything other than people.  I don’t think I would’ve ever considered it before, not because I felt less of them but because of the barrier between client and provider (there’s no sense in wishing for ice cream when you’re in the Sahara).  But with Maggie it was different; the way she dressed, the way she acted, she was like any other girl I knew; her GFE felt so sincere and so real that it really was like being with a girlfriend, so I felt like I really had a chance with her.  And she later told me that she genuinely did like me from the beginning, so that was probably part of what I felt.

At what point did you emotionally cross the line and know that you were in love enough with a working girl to want to get married? How could you tell?

I really don’t remember, but it wasn’t all that long after meeting her.  It was love at first sight, and I knew that I would have to work very hard to convince her that I was serious.  A few months into the relationship Maggie opened a drawer at my apartment and discovered a stash of beanie babies I had intended to give her one at a time over months; when she looked questioningly at me I said, “I was prepared for a long siege.”

Was your marriage conditional on your being her only partner/“client”?

Originally it was.  She agreed that once we were engaged she wouldn’t do any more calls, and though she ran her agency she didn’t do any calls herself, just bachelor parties and two-girl shows.  But later due to extreme circumstances we decided she would go back to work herself for a while, from January 2004 until June 2006.

Does Maggie give you a hall pass when you need some outside variety?

For reasons of mutual security, we first met at this vending machine before returning to the hotel room. The picture was taken much later.

She not only provides the hall pass, she usually provides the hall.  We discussed what the rules were from the beginning; since she was an escort I knew she had to see other men, but if she had asked me not to see other women I wouldn’t have.  However, that wasn’t the case; she has allowed me to see other women on a number of occasions, and sometimes even provided girls for me.  If we had to keep a score card it wouldn’t have worked; I don’t think a relationship with an escort can work for everybody, a certain maturity level needs to be there.

Do you give Maggie a hall pass if she wants to hook up with someone for personal pleasure and not professionally?

She has my permission to be with women, but not with men.  I feel that I’ve stretched my liberal outlook on her being with other men as far as it can go, and besides she’s told me she isn’t interested in being with any other men.  The reason I don’t mind her being with women is selfish, because if she gets involved with another woman I might be invited to participate.

Are you worried about your wife developing feelings for clients that she sees on a regular basis?

No.  We’ve talked about it many times and I know it’s only work for her.  In ten years it’s never come close to being an issue.

How do you know that she won’t fall for someone else the same way that she fell for you?

Like any other marriage.  She’s not more likely to fall in love with someone else than any other woman would be.  You might as well worry about your wife falling in love with some guy she sees in the produce aisle at the supermarket.  There has to be trust.  I have to trust her just like any other man has to trust his wife; if you don’t have trust your relationship won’t work whether she’s an escort or a secretary.

So you’ve never been jealous of her being with other men?

In the beginning I was jealous, not of the sex but rather of the time.  Since we had a long-distance relationship our time together was precious, and I resented when she had to go on a call because I was losing that time.

To be continued tomorrow…

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How Old is Oldest?

Posted in Miscellaneous, Perception, tagged , , , , , , , , on March 12, 2011| 18 Comments »

Prostitution is not just a service industry, mopping up the overflow of male demand, which always exceeds female supply. Prostitution testifies to the amoral power struggle of sex…. Prostitutes, pornographers, and their patrons are marauders in the forest of archaic night. –  Camille Paglia

Just how old is the “world’s oldest profession”?  Many people (including myself) feel it’s just a formalized version of natural female behavior, and I’ve discussed this idea at least twice before (on October 12th and January 17th).  The latter column was inspired by one written by Amanda Brooks, and a number of working girls commenting on these columns stated that the work felt perfectly natural to them, or that they were drawn to it at an early age.  But whores aren’t the only ones contemplating the origins of our profession; some evolutionary biologists think about it as well.  Regular reader Joyce sent me a link to the March 6th entry in a blog called The Scientific Fundamentalist which appears on the Psychology Today website.  The blog is written by Satoshi Kanazawa, an evolutionary psychologist at the London School of Economics (who is currently a visiting scholar at Cornell) and the column is called “Do Men Try To Impress Prostitutes?”:

…In the epilogue of… [Superfreakonomics] entitled “Monkeys are people too,” Levitt and Dubner discuss the research by M. Keith Chen and Laurie R. Santos with capuchin monkeys.  Chen and Santos introduced money in a small group of capuchin monkeys and taught them how to use it.  Eventually, the capuchins learned that coins had value and they could exchange them for valuable commodities like food.  One of the things that Chen and Santos discovered in their research is just how humanlike the capuchins are.  As soon as they learned that coins had value, one of the male capuchins gave a coin to a female in exchange for sex.  Yes, capuchins engage in prostitution.  The observation that nonhuman species engage in prostitution is not new, however.  Frans de Waal and other primatologists have long observed that bonobos also engaged in prostitution, by exchanging food for sex.

If monkeys and apes routinely engage in prostitution, then it means that the evolutionary origin of prostitution probably dates back before we were human.  It means that prostitution is indeed the world’s oldest profession.

Kanazawa then goes on to describe a passage of the book in which a man describes an encounter with an escort in which he tried to impress her, and then continues:

…This does not make sense…if the evolutionary origin of prostitution thus dates back long before we were human, then it means that prostitution is evolutionarily familiar…[and]  men’s brains should be able to recognize prostitutes and to treat them differently from “ordinary” women, whom they do have to impress if they want to have sex with them.  In other words, there should be an evolved “hooker module” in the brain.  The deep evolutionary origin of prostitution and prostitutes and thus their evolutionary familiarity suggest that men would not try to impress prostitutes, because they know it is not necessary…I don’t suppose there are any systematic and high-quality data on how men treat prostitutes, whether they indeed try to impress them, even when sex with them is a sure thing.  If it turns out that men routinely attempt to impress prostitutes before having sex, then it means that prostitution is evolutionarily novel and it is not the world’s oldest profession.

He then went on to cite research showing that “intelligent men are significantly more likely ever to have paid for sex”, which he said also suggested that prostitution is a recent development.  While I was glad to see the subject seriously being studied, I was a little put out over Kanazawa’s conclusions.  Still, he seemed like an open-minded person so I decided to take the plunge:  I looked up his email address and sent him an email stating that I had read his article and was confused by his logic:

This presumes that prostitutes are fundamentally different from what I call “amateurs”, which we aren’t; your assumption seems to be based on the fallacies that 1) prostitutes provide a consistent level of service no matter how we’re treated, and 2) that to a man, all sex is good sex.  While the second statement may certainly be true of some men…it isn’t by any stretch of the imagination true of most; the average client of a $300/hour hooker…wants a good, quality “girl friend experience” (GFE) which will be much more likely if he treats his “date” like a lady.  Most escorts who are treated as though they’re “bought and paid for” will try to complete the act as quickly as possible and get such a client out the door.  Furthermore, in my experience the typical client enjoys the illusion that a beautiful woman wants to spend time with him, even if he intellectually knows she is there for the money.  I guarantee you that the majority of my clients tried their utmost to impress me, even to the point of bringing me gifts, flowers and the like.

I went on to say that I reckon intelligent men are more likely to have patronized us because they are more likely to make “the reasonable and pragmatic decision to spend [their] money on a ‘sure thing’ rather than chasing women whose price and quality are uncertain.”  I rather expected to be ignored; I worried that my letter might be taken as rude and I thought Kanazawa might dismiss me as some silly tart with notions.  Well, I was pleasantly surprised; less than two hours later he replied very graciously thanking me for my input and asking a number of questions which let me know that he was not merely being polite, but was genuinely interested in my thoughts on the subject.  We exchanged several emails over the next few hours and he told me he’ll be doing a follow-up article based in part on our conversations, and will let me know when it’s published.  In the meantime, I read a number of his other columns (especially this one on modern feminism and the ones on sex differences linked within it) and found them quite interesting; I suspect y’all will, too.

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Ho, Ho, Ho!

Posted in Current Events, Miscellaneous, News, Perception, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 15, 2010| 10 Comments »

In olden days a glimpse of stocking
Was looked on as something shocking,
But now, God knows,
Anything goes. –  Cole Porter

It’s time for another collection of short articles about various things of interest; think of today’s column as a collection of provocative little presents from Maggie’s fishnet Christmas stocking.  The first one is a seriously big deal; if it pans out it’ll be the best Christmas present the medical community has given mankind in many years:

HIV-Positive Man Cured in Berlin

Doctors recently published a report in the journal Blood announcing that Timothy Ray Brown, also known as the “Berlin Patient,” appears to have been cured of HIV infection thanks to a stem cell transplant he received in 2007 as part of a his treatment for leukemia.  The doctors stated that the results of extensive testing “strongly suggest that cure of HIV infection has been achieved.”  Brown is the first person to ever be declared cured of HIV, and his case shows the way toward a potential cure for HIV through genetically-engineered stem cells.

And just last week, Time named another AIDS-related discovery to its list of the Top 10 Medical Breakthroughs of 2010; recent studies show that healthy individuals who take antiretrovirals, medicine commonly prescribed for treating HIV, reduce their risk of contracting the disease by up to 73 percent.  It’s too early yet to say that AIDS has been cured, but the millions already infected and those (like sex workers and medical professionals) who have higher-than-normal risk definitely have reason to hope that a cure may finally arrive in the next few years.

Definitely Not the Worst Pickup Line Ever

As I’ve mentioned before, Jezebel tends to sit on the fence between third-wave feminism and the last remnants of second-wave feminism; its editorial staff seems to give considerable leeway to contributors, and some unfortunately have the tendency to write articles which exude the unmistakable dead-fish smell of neofeminism. I’ve noticed the writer of the following article (reprinted verbatim) in particular has a strong tendency to rely on rhetoric which was already pungent in 1991 and has grown ever-more-foul in the intervening two decades:

We’re referring to the words allegedly spoken to Mark Wahlberg at some party for The Fighter.  According to the NY Daily News, a “young beauty” approached Wahlberg in the “VIP Section” of the Top of the Standard bar.  Her line? “Well, I’m the single girl and you’re the married man.”

Wahlberg allegedly “wasn’t amused,” and we don’t know why he would be, since it wasn’t remotely amusing. What it was, in fact, was depressing, degrading and reliant on archetypes that we wish didn’t exist.  And while we’ve described it as an abysmal line, there’s always a chance it’s worked in the past — which is more depressing still.

For all we know, Wahlberg’s PR is pushing the story to highlight his upstandingness (and really, you shouldn’t get special credit for normal, decent behavior) but that’s not where our interests lie.  Young beauty, whoever you are: you are better than this.  You shouldn’t be defining yourself in relationship to the nearest man, and you shouldn’t buy into a world that pits “mistresses” archaically against wives.  We hope that seeing this item will serve as a wake-up call.  You’re not “the single girl” — you’re a person!  A person with opinions and history, and value.  You deserve to be not just in the VIP section, but in the VIP section of life!

First off, it’s only a “pickup line” if a man uses it; the female equivalent is called a “come-on”.  But even if the two are considered together, this does not remotely even make it into the running to be considered to be nominated as among the worst pickup lines of this month, let alone ever.  My nomination for that honor would have to be, “Let’s  joust; my pork sword versus your clam salad.”  Yes, that was a real line, spoken by a guy I actually knew and overheard by another friend.  What makes it even more astonishing is that it actually worked; I guess low female self-esteem is a horny-but-clueless guy’s best friend.

The rest of the piece is so judgmental and indicative of rigid, indoctrinated thinking that it is – to paraphrase the article itself – “depressing, degrading and reliant on rhetoric that we wish didn’t exist.”  The author clearly believes herself to be “better” than the young half-hooker who solicited Wahlberg, yet says the girl is better than “this” (meaning her profession).  But you’re right about one thing, Ms. Neofeminist; she is a person with opinions, history and value, just as every other prostitute is.  We don’t “define ourselves in relationship to the nearest man”; it is YOU who are doing that by “defining” her in relation to a potential customer even though you know nothing else about her, and you shouldn’t buy into a world that pits “feminists” archaically against whores.

Funny Shows

These are just a couple of funny slideshows which are only tenuously related to this column by the “Video Girl Barbie” entry in “Toys Not To Get Kids for Christmas” and the “Free Hugs” entry in “Obvious Traps”.  Think of them as stocking stuffers.

Another Whore Who Thinks She Isn’t

The ex-porn starlet ex-wife of actor Kelsey Grammer, infuriated over his divorcing her for a younger woman, now plans to blackmail him with a sex videotape demonstrating “just how twisted his sexual appetite is” in order to extort a larger alimony payment than the court assigned her.  A woman demands money that she would not have if she hadn’t sex with a man; why isn’t this illegal again?  Oh, yeah, that marriage license thing, which makes prostitution legal.  I don’t remember anything about it making blackmail legal, though, so why hasn’t this sleazy trollop been arrested and charged with attempted extortion?

Hooters, Japanese Style

This article talks about “maid cafes”, Japanese establishments in which guys pay girls to give them a GFE without the sex.  This is of course exactly what many of our clients want as well, and it’s a very old tradition in Japan; really, the girls are like low-rent modern descendants of geishas (who as you may remember replaced the oiran by practicing then-modern entertainments instead of archaic ones).  It’s also not all that different from the being-sweet-and-cute-for-money procedure practiced by strippers and Hooters girls.  Still think there’s a clear line between illegal prostitution and legal professions which dance all around it?  What is it that defines prostitution?  If it’s penetration, what about hand jobs?  If the guy doesn’t climax, is it still prostitution?  What about police busts in which neither sex nor any conversation about it occurs?  How about guys who just want to watch a girl masturbate or play with another girl?  If a guy comes in his pants during a lap dance, is it prostitution?  How about a Las Vegas escort who gets a quickie wedding with her client, does a all-nighter and then gets an equally quick divorce in the morning?  How about the Muslim temporary marriage, which can be as short as one night?  And if a ex-porn starlet blackmails her ex-husband with video of him clapping and chanting “lubbu-lubbu”, is it illegal?

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Q & A (Part One)

Posted in Call types, Miscellaneous, Perception, Philosophy, Q & A, tagged , , , , , , , , , on September 21, 2010| 9 Comments »

Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple. –  Dr. Seuss

In today’s column I’m going to answer some questions from my readers.  Some of these have been asked more than once, and some were asked by friends who knew me before I started blogging, while a few are new questions submitted to my email address (maggiemcneill@earthlink.net).  If there’s anything you want to know but don’t feel comfortable putting into a post reply (or just can’t find an appropriate post to attach it to), send me an email and I’ll answer it in my next mail column.  If you really need a quicker response let me know and I’ll answer you directly.  Unless directed otherwise, I will treat all questions as confidential and will not reveal the screen name of the asker.  We’ll start with one of the most commonly-asked questions of all:

How many men a day did you see?

For the first two years I worked (200-2001) I averaged about 16 calls a week, or as I thought of it “two per day and two for the week”.  But after September 11th, 2001 things slowed down for the convention business in New Orleans and my numbers began to fluctuate wildly; throughout 2004-2005 only about 10 per week.  After Katrina it shot way up since I was the “only game in town”; I asked my husband for an estimate last night and he thinks it was roughly 3-4 per day, which sounds about right to me.  In fact, my busiest day ever was December 1, 2005; I did 10 calls that day, and you had better believe I was exhausted and sore when it was done!  But things started to drop off after that, and when it dropped below an average of 1/day by late May I knew it was time to retire.

How did your husband feel about your working?

As I’ve said before my husband started out as my favorite client, so he had to face the reality of the situation from the very beginning.  After we got engaged he asked me not to do anything but bachelor parties, two-girl shows and the like, and I agreed.  However, due to unforseen financial difficulties which appeared near the end of 2003 I had to return to work full-time.  At first he took this philosophically, but once I started working it into a dominant/submissive fantasy for him (playing that he was “lending out” his slave girl) it actually began to turn him on.  I was always totally honest with him, and once he saw that it had no affect on my feelings for him he was able to enjoy the fantasy without experiencing any insecurity that I might become emotionally attached to another man.  We’ve discussed it since I retired, and we both agree that if I had to return to work for some reason it really wouldn’t be a big deal.  Which brings us to the next question:

Would you ever return to work for any reason?

I firmly believe that one should never say “never”.  If there were some compelling reason, I would certainly return to work, though I would have to find a way to do so without having to live away from home, as I’ve become to adjusted to my current mode of living and regular schedule to ever go back to city life and constantly being on call.  When I received this question I realized that one of my readers might one day ask to see me professionally, and I decided that I would agree to it on the condition that he pay me no fee, but instead make a tax-deductible donation to the WWAV “No Justice” Project.  I proposed this to my husband and he readily agreed.

What’s the difference between a courtesan and an escort?

“Courtesan” is an historical term for an educated, high-class prostitute who caters to men who want companionship rather than mere sex; she is the Western equivalent of a Japanese geisha.  In recent years some educated working girls have revived the term, and I’m very pleased that they have.  Unfortunately, by doing so they have inspired a host of imitators who just don’t get it; these wannabes seem to think calling themselves “courtesans” is just a convenient excuse to charge more.  I’ve actually seen some of these self-proclaimed “courtesans” publish lists of what courtesans do and don’t do, as though it were just a matter of following a checklist (the term “GFE” has experienced a similar degradation of late).  But I’ve got news for these ladies; “I am a courtesan” is not simply code for “I have a serious case of platinum pussy syndrome”.  If you can’t intelligently discuss a number of subjects (such as history, science, music, art, literature, philosophy, etc) in which your client might be interested, you aren’t a courtesan.  If you can’t make a client feel special and important or carry a conversation by yourself for four hours without his realizing you’re doing it, you aren’t a courtesan.  If you can’t listen to a man’s problems without judging and give him wise and compassionate advice on them, you’re not a courtesan.  And if you can’t ignore age, obesity, deformity, disability or just plain ugliness and look at your client for what he is inside rather than how he appears outside, you certainly aren’t a courtesan.  I could declare myself an empress, but that wouldn’t make it so, and a duck who proclaims herself a swan is still just a duck.

If it’s true that prostitutes have a lower incidence of sexually transmitted diseases than the general population, why is it that blood banks won’t accept blood from men who admit to seeing prostitutes?

They won’t accept blood from homosexuals, either; promiscuity of any kind is considered a high-risk behavior for blood-borne infections.  But beyond that, why do governments insist on equating voluntary adult prostitutes with enslaved teenage girls?  The answer to both questions is the same:  Superior authority does not grant superior wisdom.

Did your clients always expect you to have an orgasm too, or were they mostly concerned with you getting them off? And did you ever have an orgasm for real with any of your clients?

Most men enjoy giving women orgasms.  Males are highly achievement-oriented; their self-esteem depends upon being competent, and being perceived as virile and sexually potent is as important to the average man as being perceived as beautiful and desirable is to the average woman.  In the past men didn’t care much about giving women orgasms because female sexuality was viewed as a mystery, but once it became general knowledge that women can nearly always achieve orgasm through masturbation but not always through sex with a man, inducing orgasm in his partner became the goal of sex for many men.  The competitive, result-oriented male mind sees female orgasm as the target, the goal, the finish line of the “game” of sex, so his sexual pleasure is greatly enhanced if he can “score” it.

However, as you and I both know, it isn’t that simple.  For many women orgasm is more like hunting than it is like football; it’s not just a matter of aiming a shot with proper force and accuracy into a static area, but rather of hitting a moving target which may or may not elect to show itself on that occasion!  There are times when (for whatever reason) it just isn’t going to happen, but many men just can’t understand that and will refuse to stop trying; on those occasions a good fake allows the man save face and concentrate on what can be accomplished, namely his own orgasm.

And that’s only speaking of lovers; with clients orgasm is even more elusive, and indeed for some girls never shows its face in a commercial situation at all.  But this typical female condition is completely alien to the average man; he just can’t comprehend that the right combination of moves and techniques could through no fault of his own somehow fail to achieve what it was intended to achieve.  Even those men who intellectually understand this may have trouble grasping it on an emotional level, so it’s always best to give a man a good, convincing fake if one senses that it’s important to him or if he comes out and says “I want to give you pleasure, too” as so many of them do.  Obviously, this isn’t necessary if he just wants a blow job or comes very quickly with intercourse.

The answer to the second part of your question is yes.  It didn’t happen often, but sometimes things just clicked and I did indeed climax with a customer.  The irony in this, of course, is that it was rarely due to any technical “performance” on his part, but usually just because the situation was somehow unusually exciting or because I felt a stronger-than-usual connection with him. I had orgasms pretty consistently with some of my regulars, especially the one I called the Salesman, though in his case that was indeed due in part to his amazingly talented fingers.

In tomorrow’s column, more questions about hookers’ orgasms and customers’ choices.  See you then!

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