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Posts Tagged ‘weaponry’

You should have seen what we did to this guy—we jacked him up!  –  “Officer” Cynthia Whitlatch

This week’s top link contributor was nobody!  Actually, it was Reason articles tweeted by the Reason account, but I don’t give self-evident credits (i.e. articles tweeted by their own authors or host media) because they’re self-evident.  Got it?  The first video is from Mark Draughn, and even though I don’t like hip-hop I think this song needs to be promoted, especially because the NYPD wants it censored.  And since 50 Shades of Grey has appeared so often here lately, I thought y’all might enjoy this parody of E.L. James’ execrable prose and abysmal plotting.  The links between the videos were provided by Franklin Harris (“does” and “ad”), Walter Olson (“cuckoo”), Grace (“effect” and “never”), Jillian Keenan (“horrible”), Clarissa (“safer”), Radley Balko (“touch”), Nun Ya  (“lives” and “butch”), Tushy Galore (“dog”), Rick Horowitz (“cane”), Elizabeth N. Brown (“Uber”), Popehat (“rescue”),  and Domina Elle (“menstruating”).

From the Archives

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The canned food item could stun the intruder or even knock him out until the police arrive.  –  Priscella Holley

Apparently we’re over the holiday slump, because there were lots of good links!  Mike Siegel was the top contributor this week, with the first video (an example of Sweden being Swedish) and everything above it; the second video (silly, but amusing) was provided by Kevin Wilson, and the links between the videos by Mistress Matisse (“race”), Radley Balko (“start” and “blue”), Dan Savage  (“federalism” and “unpunished”), Jesse Walker (“beer” and “luck”), Clarissa  (“determined” and “bury”), Violet Blue (“adventure”), Aspasia (“owners”), Popehat (“Mars”), Amy Alkon (“stupid”), Angela Keaton (“truck”), and Michael Whiteacre (“shampoo”).

From the Archives

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How about if I see you post this on YouTube, I’ll find a way for the DA’s office to arrest you?  –  “Trooper” Rosenblatt

It’s not surprising that I have so little for you this week; besides it being Christmas, I’ve had a lovely guest taking up my time (and that is not a complaint).  As I explained last week, there were few holiday links this year, not even videos, so I’ve chosen two videos that I think will amuse you and make you feel good.  The first (via Aspasia) is pretty self-explanatory, and I don’t know that I’ve ever in my life felt the kind of pure, canine joy the woman in the second video (via Tushy Galore) displays for her sponges.  The links above the first video are from Popehat, and those between the two are from Grace, Angela Keaton, Ed KrayewskiWalter Olson, and Nun Ya, in that order.

From the Archives

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By the way if anyone feels they can’t breathe or their lives matter I’ll be at the movies tonight, off duty, carrying my gun.  –  Phillip White

It was a pretty sad (read: virtually nonexistent) crop of Christmas links this year; I mean, here we are hours away from the solstice and…nothin’ (imagine Yukon Cornelius voice). So please enjoy the one single solitary holiday feature this week, a video of porn actresses reading How the Grinch Stole Christmas from Michael Whiteacre.  The first video was provided by Radley Balko (as were the links above it), and the links between the videos were contributed by Popehat (“do” and “megalomania”), Dave Krueger (“doughnuts”), Walter Olson  (“brilliant”), Nun Ya (“threefold”), Tushy Galore (“speech”), Cop Block  (“waiting”), and Elizabeth N. Brown  (“dragged”).

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For every action there’s a reaction.  –  Javier Ortiz

Here we are mid-month, and still few Christmas links worth repeating despite the fact that decorations have been up since before Thanksgiving.  So to counterbalance the first video (in which a cop stupidly admits on record that he’s going to file false charges against a cop’s daughter who was uploading the whole incident to the internet as it transpired), I present more heavy metal Christmas music from Christopher Lee (courtesy of Michael Whiteacre).  Nobody contributed more than one link, so I’ve collected the unattributed ones above the first video; those between the videos were provided by CliteratiJillian Keenan,  Mike Siegel, Eric Barry, Rick Horowitz, Radley Balko, and Clarissa (in that order).

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I think you are pretty like a horse or a ladybug, I’m not sure which.  –  Bennet

Our videos this week both relate to the movie The Avengers; the first is an outtake and the second a parody (provided by Aspasia).  I tweeted the first one earlier this week in response to frequent questions about where I get the energy and drive to turn out as much content as I do every day.  Everything above it is from Radley Balko, and the links between the videos are from Rick Horowitz  (“irony”), Jason Kuznicki (“totalitarian”), Popehat (“Florida”), Dave Crisp  (“approach”), Angela Keaton (“coed” and “lawn”), Carol Fenton  (“assault”), and Lenore Skenazy (“this”).

From the Archives

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This essay first appeared in Cliterati on October 26th; I have modified it slightly to fit the format of this blog.

As long-time readers know, I’m very fond of science fiction and fantasy; the difference between the two is that the latter describes a world which (by our understanding of the laws of the universe) could not actually exist, while the former describes a world which could but does not (at least yet).  As some have pointed out, though, the term “science fiction” is really too limited; very often the world described in such a story differs from our own not due to some scientific discovery or technical development, but in a social or cultural way.  For this reason, some writers and critics prefer the term “speculative fiction”, which broadens the genre to include things like alternate-history stories; my tale “For I Have Sinned”, for example, imagines what our modern world might be like had the Catholic Church won the Crusades and successfully suppressed the Protestant Reformation.  The story is an example of a type called a dystopia; while a “Utopia” is a fictional world better than our own1984 (at least in the writer’s estimation), a dystopia is one that is worse.  But just as the traditional science fiction of yesterday (e.g. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and Destination Moon) can become the science fact of today, so can what was once the stuff of dystopian speculation become the true and horrible political reality.

The process is usually very gradual, just as technological development is; a poisonous idea becomes established in one place and spreads to others, expanding in scope once it’s in place.  The wicked Swedish model of prostitution law, which defines women as moral imbeciles and men as their evil oppressors, is sold to the delusional, the misandrist and the ignorant as a means of “protecting” women from dirty, bad sex, and though it has been repeatedly beaten back in England and Scotland it has now taken root in Northern Ireland:

The Northern Ireland Assembly has voted by 81 to 10 in favour of making it a crime to pay for sex…Northern Ireland is the first part of the UK to vote in favour of the measure.  There is still some way to go before the bill becomes law, but the prospect of a ban on paying for sex in Northern Ireland has taken a significant step forward…Opponents included Justice Minister David Ford who claimed it would be difficult to enforce…

“Difficult to enforce” is an understatement; the US has criminalized both the buying and selling of sex for a century now, and though only a tiny fraction of all such transactions are caught by police it takes “sting” operations and other violations of civil liberties to accomplish it.  In other words, even if you believe that stopping consensual behavior is somehow a good thing, prohibition can’t actually accomplish that.  It does, however, provide a useful excuse for the construction of a vast police state; “protecting children from porn” was the rationale for establishing the UK’s internet censorship regime, but it’s now being extended to allow suppression of any viewpoint of which “authorities” disapprove.  Nor will they be content with merely silencing such people:

People found guilty of Internet “trolling” in Britain could be jailed for up to two years…following a number of high-profile cases of abusive and threatening behaviour on Twitter.  Justice Secretary Chris Grayling…[said] “This is a law to combat cruelty — and marks our determination to take a stand against a baying cyber-mob”…last month a man was jailed for 18 weeks for what prosecutors described as “a campaign of hatred” against a [politician].  “These internet trolls are cowards who are poisoning our national life…” Grayling said.  “That is why we are determined to quadruple the current six-month sentence”…The government proposes to amend two existing laws to extend the maximum jail term and also the time limit for prosecutions, from six months to three years…

I edited this item to remove the cases politicians are using to win the support of the thoughtless and focus on their real motive: shielding politicians from criticism.  Thoughtcrime is now a very real offense in Britain; perhaps you read about this case:

Robul Hoque…[was convicted for] his collection of Japanese Manga or Anime-style images alone…His barrister Richard Bennett said:  “These are not what would be termed as paedophilic images.  These are cartoons”…Police found the images when they seized Hoque’s computer…none were of real people.  They were classified as prohibited images as they depicted young girls, some in school uniforms…exposing themselves or taking part in sexual activity…Six years ago he was prosecuted for having “Tomb Raider-style” computer-generated pictures of fictional children…

That’s right, he was convicted for having drawings of a taboo subject.  Drawings.  And pay attention to that line about how they found the forbidden doodles, because their power to search you for “evidence” (or any other excuse) is increasing all the time:

Registered gun owners in the United Kingdom are now subject to unannounced visits to their homes under new guidance that allows police to inspect firearms storage without a warrant.  The new policy from the British Home Office went into effect Oct. 15…Britain’s gun owners were subject to the home visits before the update, but the inspection had to be conducted with prior notice…the Association of Chief Police Officers [claimed] the revamped guideline does not grant police any new powers…ACPO is also encouraging [informants] to call a new Crimestoppers hotline to report any [people they want harassed by police]…The Home Office is [pretending] that legitimate guns could easily be stolen and wind up in the hands of terrorists…

Of course, guns aren’t the only things which terrorists might use; knives, household chemicals, cars, computers, money…why, the list is endless!  Clearly the police need the power to “inspect the storage” of those things in private homes, without warning or warrant.  And if the owners aren’t home when they arrive, well, in the interests of national security the police should clearly be given the power to let themselves in, and if the place gets ransacked in the process you can be sure those in charge will dismiss any claims the householders make with the assurance that proper procedures were followed.

time machineAll of us are time travelers, and though the process is both slow and unidirectional, it inevitably brings us into a world very different from the one where we started.  Unfortunately, we cannot merely hop into the TARDIS and return to the past or visit a different future if we don’t like the one in which we find ourselves; we are stuck there, like it or not.  Tyrannies don’t materialize without warning overnight, nor are they usually imposed from outside any more; the world around us is a prison we have allowed the powerful to build, stone by stone and bar by bar.  They capitalized on our fears, our intolerance, our greed, our envy, our laziness and our wrath, and though we could have stopped them many times over we were always more concerned with what other people were saying, doing or thinking, and thus handed our self-proclaimed “leaders” the weapons they needed to dominate us all.  Welcome to the future, and if you think all the things I described above are hunky-dory just wait until the inexorable action of legal precedent brings your face under the boot next.

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Is this a joke?  –  Nathan Robinson

This week I wasn’t on a train and I’m not sick, so I had no trouble getting everything straight on time (except for the abundant distractions provided by my wonderful friends here in Seattle).  Both videos this week are reactions to that heavily-edited “catcalling” viral thing; the first was provided by Rick Horowitz and the second by Mike Siegel (who also gave us “ghouls” and “shoplifting”).  Everything above the first video is from Radley Balko, and the links between the videos from Clarissa (“recycling” and “mistake”), Grace  (“resisting”), Jesse Walker (“music”), Mistress Matisse (“never call”), Cop Block  (“first aid”), and  Joyce Arthur (“together”).

From the Archives

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As you plan your child’s Halloween costume, you must consider the district’s Zero Tolerance Policy.

The increasing trend of people saving Halloween links for the last three days before the holiday results in my not having any until the Links column after Halloween.  It’ll be just as bad next year, but the year after that Halloween’s on a Monday so that should be better.  Ah, well.  This week’s top contributor was Lenore Skenazy, with the first video and everything above it; the second video is from Franklin Harris, and the links between the two were provided by Cop Block  (“protect”),  Popehat (“clowns” & “chili”), Tauriq Moosa (“layout”), Kevin Wilson  (“investors”),  David Ley (“plastic”), Michael Whiteacre (“show”), Radley Balko  (“sequel”), Molly Crabapple (“seizure”), Clarissa (“accidentally”), and Molli Desi  (“together”).

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The…binary foundation of 1s and 0s is deeply problematic: 1 is inherently phallic and thus misogynistic…we have 0s and Os as our fundamental binary logic gates.  They symbolise/-ize the varying, natural, and beautiful differences of the female vaginal opening.  –  Arielle Schlesinger

OK, you can laugh: I stupidly forgot my laptop at home.  As a result, I’m finishing this up on Angela Keaton’s teeny-tiny little notebook at a house party in New Orleans.  Nobody can fault my dedication!  Everything down to the first video is from Jesse Walker, the second video is from Jack Shafer and the links between the videos are from Jason Kuznicki (“awkward” and “property”), Scott Greenfield  (“police state”), Dave Barry (“headline”), Mike Siegel (“runner-up” and “hysteria”), Popehat (“firearms”), and Franklin Harris (“neglect”).

From the Archives

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