I’m a 24 year old man who grew up in a very conservative, sex negative atmosphere; the most I’ve ever done is kiss a woman, and that was several years ago. I’ve had pretty extensive health issues that largely keep me homebound, and porn just makes me feel lonely. I’ve engaged in cybersex with women I met online, but I always lose contact with them because the only time I want to talk is when my horniness overpowers my embarrassment; I’m very uncomfortable seeking this stuff out even online, and I’ve had a few women that I cut off because they wanted to move much too fast, and expected me to just ignore all my boundaries. For the same reason I’m not comfortable with sex-related online communities. On top of that, the women I talk with don’t get much from the situation; the most I’m comfortable with is voice chat and I need to be eased into that. Paying is not a financial possibility for me right now, and TBH I don’t really have any desire to do sexual stuff with a woman who only is there because I pay her.
I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I have no advice to give you. Surely you understand that nobody is going to give you something for nothing? You simply can’t expect random strangers to give you free sexual interaction, completely on your terms, without expecting anything in return. That simply isn’t the way human dynamics work. What you are looking for, whether you like it or not, is a sex worker. You want someone to fulfill your desires on demand while staying completely within the boundaries you set, but who won’t ask anything for herself or expect romance or whatever. That is about as good a description of a sex worker/client relationship as one could wish for; a sex worker is only looking for her fee, nothing else, and as a professional she will proceed at your pace and leave you alone when you aren’t paying for her to do otherwise. I’m perfectly willing to provide the service if you like, and there are phone sex services, cam girls, etc available on the internet. But if you are willing to provide your phone partner with nothing, I’m afraid nothing is all you can expect in return.
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)
