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Diary #781

Saturday would’ve been Grace’s 67th birthday, so I’m not especially surprised that I felt quite sad.  Everything seemed off all day; Grace always wanted me to make her favorite dish, Beef Stroganoff, for dinner, with a cheesecake for dessert.  And perhaps in the future, along with burning a candle for her all day, I may prepare those things in her memory; right now the grief is still too intense, so I let Jae cook dinner after she returned from the local “No Kings” protest.  While she was gone, I was here alone and decided to soak in the hot tub with a strong drink, and listen to Queen’s Greatest Hits, which Grace gave me for my birthday in 1999 (if memory serves).  The album includes “You’re My Best Friend”, which as I mentioned last year was my ringtone for her, but it also includes “Who Wants To Live Forever?” which has for almost 40 years always made me cry, even long before my best friend passed from this plane into whatever comes next.  I really am mostly doing better now; I can even get through most days without crying as long as I stay busy (which isn’t hard).  But occasions like this are too painful to manage without grief, and I’ve never been any good at holding in the tears when they’re provoked this intensely.

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There is a few, some with long words that I can’t pronounce.
–  Kimberly “Science” Coates

Yesterday would have been Grace’s 67th birthday; last year I observed the occasion with the song I used for her ringtone, so this year I decided to use one she sang around the house quite often in the months before her passing (any reference to today’s two obituaries is strictly coincidental).  The links above the video were provided by Ryan Marino, Mike Siegel, Clarissa, Popehat, Franklin Harris, Kevin Wilson, and IncarcerNation, in that order.

From the Archives

I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks so much!

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Grace liked those small, fat notebooks.  She always kept several around, and used them for whatever she needed to write down, without any particular order.  Any given notebook might contain movies or tools she wanted to buy; rough diagram, sketches, and lists of parts for intended projects; things she encountered online when I wasn’t around that she wanted to ask me about later; things she wanted me to add to the grocery list; ideas for her D&D character; audiobooks she wanted to order; and just about anything else she felt should be written down.  Now, over the last couple of years she had developed a fondness for listening to Gregorian chants on her headphones while meditating; she even listened to them while getting chemotherapy.  So when I picked up one of her little notebooks Saturday before last, looking for one that was mostly empty so I could use it for something else, and discovered a page with five lines of Latin, I assumed they had come from a chant she liked.  Believe it or not, her Latin was actually better than mine, so I needed to look them up, starting with the one in the title above…which translates to “help me in my final condition”.  They were all lines from the Dies Irae, part of the traditional Catholic requiem mass.  And of course I immediately started crying uncontrollably, though the tears were not bitter.  Because even though we both knew she was dying for some time (though neither of us realized just how close it was), she had clearly come to accept it.  And perhaps discovering those lines, painful as it was in the moment and in recalling it now, will eventually help me to accept it as she did.

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[I’ve] no recollection of personally ever throwing a petrol bomb.
–  James Duthoit

Longtime readers may recall that Shostakovich is one of my favorite composers, but I was unfamiliar with this piece until it was recently shared by Mike Siegel.  The links above it were provided by Franklin Harris (x2), Nun Ya, T. Greg Doucette (x2), IncarcerNation, and Missy Mariposa, in that order.

From the Archives

I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks so much!

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See also "terrorist", "trafficker", and "prostitute".

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-17T18:03:29.108Z

People who are not queer, kinky, or professional: I beg you to research what a "gangbang" is, so you can stop making yourselves look like gullible idiots for repeating cops' 30-year-old sophomoric joke.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-19T04:39:04.483Z

There ain't a healthy person in that room, psychologically speaking.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-20T03:52:21.862Z

I beg reporters to recognize that this is a religion, and to cover it accordingly. Treat pronouncements about magical godlike "AI" the same way you'd treat pronouncements about Jesus or demons.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-21T17:46:02.394Z

Takeaway: Y'all aren't being NEARLY polite enough to "Cat, I farted". You need to be so scrupulously polite and indirect that you sound like a parody of a Victorian.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-22T17:54:39.862Z

Presumably, the 51% who view Vikings favorably are also big fans of having their life savings stolen by cops via asset forfeiture.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-23T18:39:54.767Z

I am not going there.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-24T04:09:00.768Z

"I'm Called Little Buttercup"

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-25T19:43:49.356Z

I wonder if he can make it through without loudly soiling his diaper.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-26T17:12:52.987Z

O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie usTo see oursels as ithers see us!

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-27T16:58:51.364Z

Setup: Someone just proposed the toast, "To the voters."

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-28T17:28:03.370Z

If "sex trafficking" hysteria gets transferred to cops and other porcine creatures, I can live with that.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-29T17:32:29.234Z

But did he loudly shit his diaper at the funeral, as he did at the rededication of Notre Dame in December?www.inquisitr.com/donald-trump…

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-30T17:13:03.854Z

Zuckerberg is a sad, pathetic person with a sad, pathetic inner life, and all his billions haven't been able to buy him a personality or real friends. So naturally he thinks everybody is like that.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-05-01T17:47:00.990Z

Did someone give an LLM the prompt, "fork in the road"?

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-05-02T18:12:00.622Z

Any guesses on what movie Trump watched recently?

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-05-05T03:54:24.166Z

Oh, look, I was right again. Must be a day ending in "y". bsky.app/profile/drew…

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-05-05T17:16:21.183Z

Many more headlines like this, please. Reporters & editors: you can editorialize in your own paper/website. You needn't parrot the government's euphemisms, dysphemisms, and other propaganda.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-05-06T16:50:24.831Z

Collaboration. maggiemcneill.com/2025/05/07/i…

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-05-07T16:57:55.264Z

See also "political lesbian".

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-05-08T17:13:58.409Z

So he's basically saying he can't do it because Democrats might be mean to him, then he'd cry and soil his diaper.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-05-09T19:30:14.678Z

I would like to be able to cast a huge spell that would cause ANYONE who uses the phrase "some say" to immediately explode.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-05-12T04:00:06.232Z

I will never have as much money as this Avelo dude.But I have a soul, which is more than I can say for him.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-05-13T07:37:35.404Z

YOU can be arrested for leaving a 12-year-old unattended.For ICE thugs, it's part of the job description.Neither of these is a sign of a healthy society.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-05-13T16:51:14.913Z

Politicians and cops (including prosecutors) are sick human beings who think everyone is as warped and dishonest as they are. Accordingly, they think drug tests with a high rate of false positives are "more accurate", and those are the ones they buy. reason.com/2025/05/11/m…

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-05-14T16:58:19.261Z

If Grok's current behavior doesn't help you to recognize that there is no "intelligence" in these programs, you are hopeless. http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/nationa…

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-05-15T05:36:15.208Z

To my friends and others I follow on here:NOTHING makes me skip right over your tweet without even reading it faster than a CGI picture. If you want original pictures, pay an actual human artist for them.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-05-16T17:08:15.258Z

It's unsurprising the Trump regime is able to blatantly violate the Constitution with the full support of many Americans, because most of them are too goddamned stupid to understand it even if they'd ever bothered to read it, which they haven't.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-05-17T16:21:35.767Z

 

 

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Diary #776

My tastes in TV shows often run to the eccentric, so I’m never especially surprised when I can’t find shows I enjoyed on DVD.  Sometimes the shows were never popular enough, and often they were cancelled after one season; a lot of the time I seem to be the only person who even remembers them.  One such program was The Steven Banks Show, produced for New Orleans’ public TV station, WYES, in 1994 by ex-NBC executive Brandon Tartikoff after he semi-retired to the Crescent City; I actually caught it on the Baton Rouge PBS affiliate, WLPB, because it aired at 10:00 PM on Saturday night, just before Doctor Who.  At the end of every episode was an address to order a copy of the soundtrack album, and given that I thought Banks’ brilliant comedic songs were the best part of the show, I of course ordered it (and still play it every so often).  That single viewing over 30 years ago, just before the beginning of my “year of disaster”, was the only time I ever saw the show; even after the debut of YouTube I could never find any trace of it other than the Showtime special which was essentially its pilot, and an upload of the soundtrack album.  Then last month, I discovered someone had uploaded all 13 episodes; I immediately contacted the same generous gent who sent me the two missing seasons of The Muppet Show last year, and he found even better copies somewhere online.  So now I’m watching them again; I only wish I could’ve shared them with Grace, because I think she’d have enjoyed all the musical humor very much.  Anyhow, here’s the series on YouTube; I hope y’all enjoy it as much as I do.

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Has anyone seen the moon lately?  I’ve been looking for 7 days.  –  Kambree Nelson

I’ve featured several other unusual covers of “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” over the years, but here’s another one provided by Steve Roonie.  The links above the video are from Franklin Harris, Jesse Walker, IncarcerNation (x3), Radley Balko, and Franklin Harris again, in that order.

From the Archives

I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks so much!

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Users hate being tricked by a machine posing as a human.
–  Cassie Kozyrkov

I’m not familiar with most of Sobule’s work, but I quite liked this song when it came out (much more than Katy Perry’s later song by the same title); the links above the video were provided by Mike Stabile, Mike Masnick (x2), Andrew Fleischman, Jesse Walker, Mike Siegel, and IncarcerNation, in that order.

From the Archives

I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks so much!

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It’s an obvious attempt not to go to jail.  –  genius cop, about paralyzed man

Since I recently featured the video for what may be my favorite Blondie song, I figured I’d also share this one, which was my favorite Blondie song in high school; I especially liked blaring it on the car stereo while driving.  The links above it were provided by Marc Randazza; Justin Amash; Warren Bell; Andrew Fleischman; Popehat; Jesse Walker and Franklin Harris; and Kevin Wilson, in that order.

From the Archives

I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks so much!

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"A long-time struggle with pornography addiction" is as real as "A long-time struggle with a witch's curse", "A long-time struggle with pikachu", or "A long-time struggle with the Klingon Empire".

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-03-14T02:17:58.912Z

After the Democratic theatrical performance yesterday, do y'all still think I'm a crank for saying there's really only one political party in the US?If there were a functional opposition party, what do you think they'd be doing right now?

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-03-15T18:14:46.211Z

Yes, that includes when your doctor thinks you could benefit from opioid pain medication.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-03-16T20:01:01.703Z

The answer to the question, "Can [common food] prevent [common chronic ailment]?" is always "No".

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-03-18T17:44:28.283Z

Many, many people are finally approaching the level of distrust and cynicism I have always had for government. This does not please me in any way; I wish we could go back to everybody thinking I was kind of a crank on the subject, given what it took to open everyone's eyes.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-03-20T07:34:11.042Z

I daresay the majority of US homeowners reading this own houses valued at ten times their annual salaries or more. That's why they have mortgages.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-03-21T17:00:22.654Z

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-03-22T03:34:57.621Z

Because obviously "leaders" like Schumer should be able to enjoy their safe positions while the people are beaten, sprayed with tear gas, and shot in the eye with rubber bullets.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-03-23T22:41:48.369Z

This will continue until the voters stop it. Politicians are addicted to power, sometimes so pathetically they're still pushing that needle in at 80.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-03-25T07:24:00.384Z

God only forgives the sincerely penitent.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-03-26T21:56:50.311Z

Gee, I wonder what 700,000 angry people converging on Washington could accomplish, given that only a few thousand were able to terrorize cringing Congress just a few years ago?

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-03-28T04:45:11.563Z

I refuse to do this, because it would be foolhardy to give my enemies such a dangerous weapon.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-03-30T16:45:40.960Z

There's some sweet irony in Google's spellfucker trying to capitalize "philistine" because its programmers don't know what the lower-case noun means.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-03-31T17:10:37.847Z

New way for us to look at things, ladies.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-03T08:19:31.892Z

One underrated GREAT thing D&D does for young people is teach them demons are imaginary.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-04T16:37:42.359Z

Because Bluesky STILL hasn't given us the ability to mute RTs from individual users, I'm having to get extra-creative with my muted words list.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-06T17:22:29.253Z

So I'm a "thrifter"? In that case I'll tell you fresh vegetables are a waste of $ unless you're planning to cook 'em within ≈ 3 days of purchase, 6 at the outside. Canned or frozen will keep indefinitely, and if you're using them in a recipe (not served as a pile) nobody will notice the difference.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-07T17:31:58.069Z

It's especially designed to hide pervasive rot under a beautiful, polished surface that will last without change for decades.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-08T07:34:22.931Z

Remember when good-hearted people were chastising some of us for declaring that some politicians are just plain evil rather than "misguided" or "wrong but mean well"?If you can't call THIS evil, I don't know what to tell you.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-09T17:23:11.454Z

Smuggling is, was, and always will be a social good, providing to individuals what collectives and/or tyrants wish to deny to them or bleed them for wanting.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-10T18:40:50.868Z

True, but as a prostitute I must point out that's a REALLY low bar.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-11T03:11:21.535Z

Because everything so-called "AI" produces is shit.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-11T19:22:11.481Z

"Leaders".

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-13T07:18:35.192Z

"Space mission" is a strange way to spell "publicity stunt".

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-14T18:06:36.656Z

Doesn't China have their own water?

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-16T04:22:03.213Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3D8T…

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-16T16:54:08.948Z

Politicians are moral imbeciles who want to be called "leaders" and treated like nobility, but don't want to do the hard, morally strenuous work of actual leadership.They are human garbage, and unless this country learns that, it cannot and will not ever come back from Trumpism in any degree.

Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-04-17T17:29:37.740Z

 

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