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Archive for July, 2024

Links #733

Posted in Current Events, Links, Miscellaneous, Music, Obituary, Tyranny, tagged , , , , , , , , on July 21, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.  –  SiegedSec

Since I’ve featured a number of Batman-related videos lately (both here and in my “Video of the Day” feature on Twitter & BlueSky), I figured I’d share this one, performed by Burt Ward but written and produced by none other than Frank Zappa.  The links above it were provided by IncarcerNation (x2); Radley Balko; Phoenix Calida; Franklin Harris and Gustavo Turner; and IncarcerNation again, in that order.

From the Archives

I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks so much!

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In the News (#1456)

Posted in Current Events, Miscellaneous, News, Perception, The Dark Side, Tyranny, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 20, 2024| Leave a Comment »

In my movies, everybody always dies.  –  Brian Steven Smith

Surplus Women

Your “leaders” work hard to ensure this happens more often:

Brian Steven Smith…[of] South Africa…[has] been [sentenced to 226 years in prison for the]…murder[s of two Alaska native sex workers,] Kathleen Henry in 2019 and Veronica Abouchuk, either in 2018 or 2019…[Smith made] graphic videos…[of] Henry’s [murder, then drove around with her]…body in the back of his pickup for two days before dumping her body on a rural road south of Anchorage…The video never shows [his] face but his distinctive [South African] accent is heard…narrat[ing] as if to an audience and urges Henry to die as she’s repeatedly beaten and strangled in an Anchorage hotel room…Valerie Casler…who provided the images to police…stole…Smith’s [phone from the console of his] pickup when they were on…a [professional] date…[and] found…[the] video on it…[then] transferred [it] to an SD card she [gave to police]…During an eight-hour police interrogation…Smith confessed to police that he also killed Abouchuk…and shot her in the head before dumping her body north of Anchorage…police…later found a skull with a bullet wound there…

To Molest and Rape

Rapist cops often specifically target vulnerable women:

A West Palm Beach [Florida cop named]…James Bush…was arrested on July 12 [for trying to rape a woman]…after a man called [911] to evict his girlfriend.  When Bush arrived, he told the man to leave…the[n immediately] asked her if she wanted to “go upstairs and have some fun.”  He then grabbed her arm…[and dragged] her to a bedroom, [where he] tried to…oral[ly rape her, then switched tactics to]…offer…her “$2,000 to get your own place”…[she] eventually [got him to leave, but he returned with another cop]…hours later…[when] the…boyfriend called police again…The woman [then] told the [other cop] that Bush had sexually assaulted her and that she had evidence on her phone.  “Bush grabbed her phone during a struggle and deleted video, which was retrieved during the subsequent investigation”…

The Implosion Begins (#1079)

Now that the hysteria has imploded, local media are happy to attack the same fantasies they eagerly spread for two decades:

…a sting operation to nab sexual predators…was run…in May by Millersville [Tennessee] Assistant Police Chief Shawn Taylor and a colorful cast of [fellow psychopaths] he assembled…Taylor did not involve other law enforcement agencies with more experience in such operations because of his un[til-recently popular] conspiracy theories that…state officials are involved in child sex trafficking…Members of a private group posed online as minors — despite Millersville police being told by prosecutors that the sting would be legal only if [pigs] were the ones doing the [entrapment]…Taylor [claimed] investigators would be using [illegal] “pre-signed search warrants”…he…has voiced support for all sorts of bizarre…child sex trafficking [myths which were popular with reporters as long as they only demonized sex workers instead]…of…powerful…Democrats…[and] imagines that Millersville, a community of about 6,000 people just north of Nashville, is at the center of Tennessee’s drug and human trafficking operations…Two of the men were introduced to the group as “prayer warriors,” who are part of a group that believes…human trafficking i[nvolves]…”demons”…and former Navy SEAL Craig “Sawman” Sawyer…[who in 2018] took a Tucson TV crew to a camp that he [fantasiz]ed might have been used for child sex trafficking…

Follow Your Bliss (ROTW #2)

Beware of men who “volunteer” to be in positions of authority over your kids:

A [Michigan church volunteer named]…Jonathan Russell is facing 10 charges [of child molestation]…Russell [targeted] children he…was [given authority over as] a volunteer youth organizer for the [First Baptist] church [of Bridgeport].  In March…he…was arraigned in Crawford County on three similar charges…[and] previously was convicted in North Carolina in 2016 on charges that he spanked [children] without their parents’ permission…

I Spy (#1398) 

If “official” thugs can obtain your data without a warrant, so can unofficial ones:

The call and text message records of tens of millions of AT&T cellphone customers in mid-to-late 2022 were exposed in a massive data breach…the telecom company…blamed [on] an “illegal download”…the compromised data includes the telephone numbers of “nearly all” of its cellular customers and the customers of wireless providers that use its network between May 1, 2022 and October 31, 2022….[and] every number AT&T customers called or texted – including customers of other wireless networks – the number of times they interacted and the call duration…customer names were not exposed…however…publicly available tools can [easily] link names with specific phone numbers…AT&T…learned [about the breach] on April 19 [of this year, but]…the US Department of Justice…de[mand]ed in May and in June that [the company] delay…public disclosure…

Any information which exists can be misused by corporations or demanded by cops; the only way to stop that privacy invasion is not to collect the information in the first place.

I Spy (#1415)

Cops and politicians should never have been allowed to insert themselves into any doctor-patient relationship, but that ship sailed long ago:

 J.D. Vance…Trump’s pick for vice presidential nominee, pressured federal regulators last June to kill a privacy rule that prevents police from accessing the medical records of people seeking reproductive services…The rule was designed to prevent [cops] in anti-abortion states from using private records to hunt down and prosecute people who cross state lines in search of abortion services.  If the Trump-Vance ticket wins this year’s presidential election, the new administration could rescind the rule…

When Ambulance-Chasers Run the Hospitals (#1450)

Politicians increasingly use nuisance lawsuits to circumvent the Constitution:

…NGL…seems like a fairly standard social media offering, allowing users to post questions or prompts and receive anonymous responses.  Now, the Federal Trade Commission…has ordered [it] to ban users under age 18…[claiming that it] “unfairly” marketed the app to minors…[while barfing out the magic censorship-justifying buzzwords] “cyberbullying and harassment”…To settle the lawsuit, the agency is not only making NGL pay $5 million, it’s also requiring the app to ban those under age 18 from using it…[which] is effectively a backdoor way to accomplish what Congress has been failing to mandate legislatively and what courts have been rejecting when state [politician]s do it…the FTC does not seem to be requiring NGL to check IDs…[yet,] but…it doesn’t seem like a long shot from here to either a) punishing the company further if kids lie about their ages, thereby necessitating the use of ID checks or other age verification schemes by NGL, and/or b) requiring more invasive age verification schemes in future orders to social media companies…

 

I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks so much!

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Hush…Hush, Tweet Charlotte

Posted in History, Miscellaneous, Philosophy, Words, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 19, 2024| Leave a Comment »

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The Throwback Thursday Syndrome

Posted in Miscellaneous, Perception, Tyranny, tagged , , , , , , , , , on July 18, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Some men simply can’t handle the truth that women are in control of the sexual sphere, so they invent myths and fantasies with which to convince themselves that it’s actually the other way around.
–  “Head Games”

If the primary purpose of a movie is to entertain, it makes sense that a film can be “so bad it’s good”; some movies are just so incredibly, amazingly, jaw-droppingly bad that we can’t help finding them funny.
–  “Pull the String”

The claim that sex workers “sell our bodies” is…based on the notion that…a woman has nothing of value to offer except her sexuality, [therefore] if she “sells” that she has “sold herself” and there is nothing left.  –  “More Harm Than Good“

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In the News (#1455)

Posted in Current Events, Miscellaneous, News, Tyranny, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 17, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Help us, we can’t breathe.  –  Elizabeth Nomura

Shame, Shame (#516)

Some of y’all may recall that when all the “police reform” types started touting body cameras as the solution to surging police brutality, I was skeptical:

McNeill points out that the camera records the public, not the officer. She adds, “As long as the cops have the power to turn the cameras off or decide whether footage is released, it’s difficult to see what is to be accomplished here.”

That was February of 2015, and over 9 years later civil rights lawyer Alec Karakatsanis has published a law journal article demonstrating that, as usual, I was correct: the cops wanted the cameras as a surveillance tool, and useful idiots who imagine violent thugs can be “reformed” obligingly gave them exactly what they wanted:

By situating the rise of the police body camera within its actual legal, political, and economic contexts, I suggest that the body camera is one of the most important Trojan horses in contemporary U.S. history.  What follows is a case study of how the police bureaucracy used its own violence as the perfect alibi to get well-meaning people who lacked sufficient information to support greater police procurement budgets, more advanced and efficient technologies of control and incarceration, an explosion of profit for a small group of companies, and an expansion of the capacity of the government to surveil us. And most remarkably: All of it happened under the guise of making the police bureaucracy more “accountable” and “transparent”…

To Molest and Rape

Cops are a menace to women of all ages:

An Orange County woman [has] filed a federal lawsuit…against an Anaheim [cop who]…raped her after seeing her at an In-N-Out Burger and getting her name by running her license plate number…[typical and representative cop] Carlos Romero [was rewarded by] the city of Anaheim…[with a] paid [vacation for raping her] in 2023 after [she reported his stalking, harassing]…and [threatening her until he got tired of her refusing him]…sex…and [raped]…her [vaginally and orally despite her]…repeatedly t[elling] him “no”…His gun was…in full view [and]…she “was terrified and fearful for her life” and just wanted Romero to leave…

Panopticon (#1308)

“Safety” has become the #1 excuse for Orwellian levels of surveillance:

North Carolina [politician] Michele Morrow has made [a fetish of subjecting students to police-state measures that her own children would not have to endure, since she]…home-school[s them.  Like many authoritarians, she is obsessed with incredibly-exaggerated fears of] pedophiles and…gun violence [which she wants to use as an excuse to give dangerous thugs even more power to harass, spy on, persecute, and molest students.  Paradoxically, she wants to give these pervert thugs access to]…video surveillance in classrooms, hallways and bathrooms…

Torture Chamber (#1371)

Americans’ sick lust for torture turns ordinary prison sentences into death sentences:

A…[woman locked up in] California’s largest women’s prison [at Chowchilla] has died amid a brutal heatwave that has left residents without air conditioning begging for relief…temperatures in the region climbed above 110F (43.3C)…[but mouthpieces for the State pretend that had nothing to do with her] death…There have been reports of potentially fatal conditions inside jails and prisons during heatwaves across California and in Nevada, Illinois, Texas, Florida and other states this year.  The Chowchilla fatality has escalated fear and panic throughout the…overcrowded [dungeon, in] which…more than 2,000 people [are locked in cages without] air conditioning…[while screws refuse] to provide enough cold water and other supplies that would alleviate their suffering and reduce heatstroke risks…[many prisoners are] struggling with nausea and headaches…[while officials refuse to maintain or repair] swamp coolers meant to lower temperatures…[for] prison[ers]…locked in these death chambers [while bureaucrats deny the crisis and pretend their facilities are humane]…

The Puritan Recrudescence (#1423)

The currently-fashionable “monkey see, monkey do” parade has escaped the US and is careening all over Europe:

The Senate of the Republic of Ireland…[will] debate the country’s proposed…[“monkey see, monkey do”] Online Age Verification…Bill…[whose] sponsor…hailed as a victory the fact that the…imprecise language…[of the US laws his bill apes] has already had a chilling effect on free speech, [namely] “porn suppliers such as Pornhub to cease providing services [to people who don’t know what VPNs are]” in those states…The bill makes platforms and app stores liable for any failure to implement [government-mandated surveillance, and they are specifically required]…to store the…data they collect [at their own expense] for five years, and [make it available for pigs to root through at will]…

To Molest and Rape (ROTW #11)

I just can’t feel sorry for cops sexually abused by other cops:

A [Virginia cop named Michael Rusk] is suing his former department and local…[politicians] for $5 million for…sexual harassment a[fter]…he…shot and severely injured his superior…Christopher Gibson [for sexually assaulting him]…police leadership not only knew about the continued harassment but purposefully disregarded it because Rusk is a man…[for years] Gibson made…sexual advances toward [Rusk] including hand-holding, touching, slapping, stalking, and grooming…the[n]…in January 2023, after a night of drinking…Gibson…sexually assault[ed] Rusk…and…Rusk…[responded by shooting] Gibson several times before calling 911…

If Men Were Angels (#1449)

If I followed up on every rapist cop or preacher, I wouldn’t have room for anything else.  But sometimes I have to make an exception:

In 1982, [21-year old married] pastor Robert Morris…[seduced and molested 12-year-old] Cindy Clemishire…while he was staying at her parents’ home in Oklahoma…But 25 years later, when Clemishire hired an attorney and threatened to sue Morris…hi[s]…lawyer…responded by blaming Clemishire for what happened to her…The Feb. 6, 2007, letter was one in a series of exchanges that year between Sharpe and [Clemishire’s lawyer] Gentner Drummond…Clemishire…had been seeking $50,000 in restitution from Morris to cover the cost of counseling.  Morris…offered to pay $25,000, but the talks fell apart…because [Clemishire] was not willing to sign a nondisclosure agreement…

 

I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks so much!

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Diary #733

Posted in Diary, tagged , , on July 16, 2024| 1 Comment »

The heat wave hung on until a week ago today, and though it wasn’t as bad as some of the heat waves we’ve had in recent years, it was bad enough (especially since I still haven’t managed to shake that allergy yet).  Most summer days we’re in the low 20s Celsius, with occasional surges to the high 20s and plenty of sunshine and no rain at all.  It looks like it’s pretty good for my tomatoes, as long as I keep watering them every day; I also need to fill troughs for for the animals nearly every day because the evaporation rate is pretty high this time of year (in sharp contrast to the ten months of the year that aren’t named after Roman emperors).  All in all the summers here are much more annoying to me due to excessive light than to excessive heat, but when we do get the occasional heat wave in a house without air conditioning, icebox cake is a lovely cooler.

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Unblocked

Posted in Fiction, Miscellaneous, tagged , , , on July 15, 2024| 1 Comment »

For six years, from the summer of 2010 to the summer of 2016, my creative output was like a geyser; I had no trouble producing hundreds of new essays a year, including a new short story every month.  But then life intervened, and sapped my creative energy so that it became harder to think of new nonfiction and much harder to think of new fiction; even semi-retirement did not bring back that old energy.  But then in January of last year I started a new solo D&D game for Grace, and it seemed to free up some long-idle creative gears which had rusted through disuse.  Of course, my brain being what it is, I had to look over a bunch of old materials and decide that they all needed to be revised, updated, or added to; for the first time since I started this blog, I started taking a little time for myself every week to work on my game world; that was what inspired me to write this essay a year ago. But I’ve finally finished most of what I’ve needed to finish, and I’m working on turning my enormous Doctor Who review project into a book as I’ve planned for three years.  Then a couple of weeks ago, on the second day of summer, a new story came to me; by the time y’all read this I may have even started writing it.  And though most of y’all will have to wait until the long-delayed publication of Lost Angels to see it, my subscribers can read it now (as soon as I’m done with it, that is) as a “thank you” for all your unflagging support.  So if you’re a subscriber or frequent gift-sender, and would like to read the story, shoot me an email and I’ll get a PDF copy out to you; it might even inspire me to stop procrastinating and get it done!

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Links #732

Posted in Current Events, Links, Miscellaneous, Obituary, Tyranny, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 14, 2024| Leave a Comment »

It’s not dangerous to be scared.  –  Blair Carlyle

I don’t generally give actors a video sendoff, but in this case I couldn’t resist.  The links above it were provided by Jesse Walker (x2), Franklin Harris, and IncarcerNation (x3), in that order.

From the Archives

I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks so much!

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In the News (#1454)

Posted in Current Events, Miscellaneous, News, The Dark Side, Tyranny, Words, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 13, 2024| Leave a Comment »

We decline the invitation.  –  Justice Eric Rosen

Monsters

Words fail me in the face of such barbarity:

A Western Pennsylvania man…[named] DaShawn Watkins…is facing…charges [for the murder and dismemberment] of 14-year-old Pauly Likens…[a trans girl] missing since June 22…Police…found dismembered human remains…in and around…Shenango River Lake…the cause of death was ruled to be a sharp force trauma to the head, and…surveillance footage, social media records and cellular phone records found that Likens appeared “to be on the phone and waiting to meet someone near the canoe launch area”…footage also captured Watkins making several trips out of his apartment carrying multiple bags, and driving to his apartment in the vehicle seen near the crime scene.  Multiple locations in Watkins’ apartment tested positive in a preliminary blood test…

Creepy Coppers

Another of the people the government empowers to police your sexuality:

[A typical and representative] St. Tammany Parish [cop named] Christopher Cassidy pleaded guilty to [189 charges related to child & animal] pornography…[and] was sentenced to 15 years in prison for each count without…parole [plus condemnation to the] sex offender [registry] for…25 years [if he somehow manages to survive 2835 years in prison]…

Eggs and Bacon (#1348)

Kansas courts aren’t allowing politicians to circumvent the will of the voters:

The Kansas Supreme Court [has] reaffirmed abortion protections in the state’s Constitution…striking down [attempt]ed laws that banned a common second-trimester abortion procedure and created additional licensing requirements for abortion clinics…The rulings were the latest setbacks for [forced-birth pro]ponents in Kansas, a…state that has…recently [confounded Manicheans who insist that all voters in every state are partisan robots who unfailingly obey both their “leaders” and the expectations of the New York Times]…

Artificial “Intelligence”?

There is no part of this reeking pile of shit that fails to be stupid, so I’ll just comment instead of quoting it.  1) Things that are not alive cannot commit suicide.  2) “Cyborg” is not a synonym for “robot”; a cyborg has living parts.  3) A robot cannot be an “officer”.  4) A malfunctioning machine tumbling down a flight of stairs does not constitute a “jump”.  5) If a machine is observed malfunctioning and nothing is done, it’s no surprise if the situation worsens.  6) For a malfunctioning machine to break is not a “tragedy”.  7) A machine has neither mind nor personality and therefore cannot be “depressed”.  8) I think it highly unlikely that this robot was actually “unique” in any way.  9) Anyone who issued a “civil service officer card” to a piece of office equipment should be sacked for incompetence.  10) Robots cannot be “diligent” (see #7).  11) Too many technology reporters know nothing about technology.  12) What is possible in fantasy movies is in no way reflective of reality.

The Red Umbrella (#1414)

As long as sex work is marginalized, sex workers will be targeted for violence:

Two sex workers were violently assaulted in Edmonton [Alberta by]…a man [who] contacted both women through a website and arranged to meet them [early on July 6th]…At around 7 a.m…he attacked [the first victim, leaving her]…significantly injured and…unconscious…he [then] arranged to meet [the second victim]…around 7:50 a.m…the[n]…violently attacked…her…[leaving her] unconscious…[and stealing her] wallets, identification, cash and cell phones…detectives believe there may be more victims…

Torture Chamber (#1445)

I’m sure they helpfully yelled “Stop faking!” at him every time he coughed:

S[crews] at Brooklyn’s [abominable federal jail] ignored a…[prisoner]’s cancer diagnosis for months, letting a mass in his lungs grow to double its size while he coughed up enough blood to fill a milk carton…Terrence Wise…is [only] the latest [human being] subjected to what defense attorneys and judges describe as grievous medical mistreatment…[including a prisoner] who couldn’t use a CPAP machine for 85 days because the jail didn’t provide an extension cord, another…whose broken cheek had to be re-broken because the jail defied a judge’s order for treatment [until] it…improperly healed, and yet another who waited more than three months for emergency surgery for a twisted bowel…staff [also] lied about giving a…[prisoner] his antibiotics after his appendix burst…and…defied [another judge’s] order to send a…[prisoner] with a severe contagious MRSA infection to a hospital.  Instead, the[y just forced their victim into] a yellow jumpsuit to single him out as sick…

A Moral Cancer (#1450)

Crypto-moralists want the gullible to be afraid of even moderate alcohol consumption:

A[nother crypto-moralist] has [claim]ed that even moderate drinking can reduce life expectancy, [repeat]ing [scary tales prohibitionists have been pushing for two years]…Dr. Tim Stockwell, a [pseudo]scientist at the Canadian Institute for [Coming up with “]Research[” to Reinforce What Prohibitionists Want You To Believe], [made] the [absurdly-specific universal claim] that consuming an average of two drinks per week over a lifetime can shorten one’s life by 3 to 6 days.  One drink per day, seven a week, can cut life expectancy by 2 1/2 months…

The puritanical notion that lifelong deprivation of pleasure in the vague hope of adding a few extra minutes of senility and decrepitude to the far end of one’s old age – a time one has only a 50% chance of reaching in the first place, statistically – is so alien to my way of thinking, I’ve never been able to wrap my head around it, even as a concept for consideration.

 

I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks so much!

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Crumpets

Posted in Diary, Miscellaneous, tagged , on July 12, 2024| Leave a Comment »

I hadn’t made crumpets in a while, and was craving them recently so I made a batch.  Several people on Twitter & BlueSky expressed interest, so I decided to share my recipe.  You can’t make them without crumpet rings; when I got mine they were fairly difficult to find, but I imagine finding them on the internet would be no big deal.  Since crumpets are eaten toasted anyhow, it’s best to make these earlier in the day or even the day before you actually want them.  I’m assuming most of my UK readers who cook already have a recipe, so I’ll just use standard US cooking measurements here.

2 1/4 cups flour
1 packet yeast (I like the quick-rise kind)
1/2 cup milk
1 1/2 cups warm water
1 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
3/4 tsp baking soda
2 tbsp warm water

1)  Mix milk, 1 1/2 cups warm water, salt & sugar in a small saucepan and heat until warm (not hot).  Mix flour and yeast; add liquid and beat with electric mixer on low speed for 30 seconds, then high for 3 minutes.  Cover with a towel and let stand in a warm place for 1 hour.

2)  Mix baking soda into the 2 tbsp warm water; add to the batter and mix well.  I usually just let my stand mixer set up during the wait time so I don’t have to dirty another beater.  Let stand covered in a warm place for 10 minutes; meanwhile, grease crumpets rings, place them on a griddle or large skillet, and preheat over medium heat.

3)  Ladle the batter into each ring, filling about 3/4 of the way up.  Cook for 5-7 minutes or until the tops are mostly dry (the middles will usually be still wet).  Remove rings with kitchen tongs and set aside; flip each crumpet with a spatula and cook for another minute.  Remove to a cooling rack.

TIPS:  Keep your eye on the griddle temperature; I use a cast-iron skillet so I usually need to nudge the heat down after the first batch to avoid burning the bottoms.  Also, since you want to regrease the rings for each batch, I find cooking spray is the fastest & easiest way to go.

SERVING:  Toast the crumpets when you’re ready to eat them; I find it’s best to do them just a notch lower than you would sliced bread (unless you’re one of those barbarians who like your toast burnt, in which case do them several notches lower).  They’re great with butter, clotted cream, jam or marmalade, lemon curd, anything like that.  One of my readers said he likes them with Marmite, which I have not tried but sounds interesting.  This recipe will make roughly a dozen or just under, so put any you’re not going to eat that day in a sealed Tupperware-type container.  Anyway, that’s all there is to it; the thing I love best about them is their texture, much more like a proper waffle or pancake than an English muffin.  Enjoy!

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