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Posts Tagged ‘BDSM’

I don’t think I could conceal my lesbian side any less if I went around wearing a T-shirt with “DYKE” on the back and a picture of Melissa Ethridge on the front.  –  “East is East and West is West

The reality of human sexuality is a whole world; describing it requires at least four dimensions plus time.  –  “Two-dimensional

Revolutions are caused by governments.  –  “Cornered Animals

Cassandra is done being polite, and isn’t ever going to let y’all forget that she warned y’all about that fucking horse.  –  “I Told You So

It’s bad enough that these immense leeches skulk around behind us online and off, hungrily licking up the data traces we all inadvertently leave behind us as horses leave shit everywhere; do y’all really have to give them information voluntarily as well?  –  “Fuck You, Pay Me

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“Sex trafficking” fetishists are…very fond of pretending that the average “sex trafficking victim” only lives for 7 years once she starts seeing clients…we’re also told that the average “victim” is 13 and dies at 34, but let’s not think too hard right now about how one can subtract 13 from 34 and arrive at 7.  –  “Doubling Down

When will Western society stop treating adult women as if they were wayward kindergarteners?  –  “Eternal Vigilance (#617)

In a way, the “sex trafficking” hysteria was an early symptom that we’re winning; since our opponents couldn’t credibly portray us as villains any more, they turned to casting us as victims.  –  “Out and Proud

No generation of whores has ever had to endure such a widespread, aggressive, vicious, blatantly dishonest, morally-bankrupt crusade against our work, clients and lives as the one we’re enduring now.  –  “Agenda

A psychiatrist who has sex with patients is a fool.  A male psychiatrist who draws vulnerable female patients into kink relationships is a dangerous fool.
–  “He Said, She Said (#917)

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In witch hunts of both the classic and modern varieties, hypersuggestible people such as children, the mentally ill, the emotionally needy, or the severely traumatized can be induced to “remember” all sorts of fantastic things which are not even physically possible, much less grounded in actual events.  –  “False Witness

Because sex isn’t all that and a bag of chips to whores, we are dramatically less likely to stray, and if we do it certainly ain’t going to be for a stupid-ass reason like “I had an hour of good sex with some dude I don’t actually know”.
–  “Sauce for the Goose

Generally, the way anyone commands respect from anyone else in any sexual transaction is, paradoxically, by not needing them.  –  “Respect

Children are people separate from their parents; they are not part of their parents, and they aren’t owned by them, nor are they blank slates to be written neatly upon in whatever style and language their parents desire.  They are individuals with their own personalities from the very beginning, and a certain fraction of them are born with (or develop at an early age via mysterious channels) sexual or gender patterns that have nothing to do with what their parents might prefer or choose to “teach” them.  –  “Secrets in the Family

Though men control just about everything else, women have a solid lock on the sphere of hetero sexuality…the thing most men care about more than anything else.  –  “Toxic Entitlement

When cops act to “solve” a crime at all, they generally do so by picking someone to frame for it and torturing the “evidence” to support their choice.
–  “No Protection, No Service

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Why, oh why are so many ignoramuses convinced that non-vanilla sex is a recent invention? And why are they so certain in this stupid belief that they want to proclaim their status as dullards to the entire internet?

This also implies that every kinky person who came of age before the advent of internet porn is lying.  My first recollection of “funny feelings” (as I thought of them) goes back to 1970, but this soi-disant Sage of Sexuality claims they derive from kinky porn I’ve never seen.  And that is, BTB, not an exaggeration; I became tired of, and uninterested in, porn several years before I had an internet connection.  The only kinky porn I’ve ever seen was a German “wet sex” magazine my first husband bought in Bavaria sometime in the mid-’80s.  And yet, despite my dislike of porn, I do not think it should be banned.  I also dislike drag shows, but I don’t think they should be banned either.  Funny how true principles and valid ethics don’t depend on the gut-level preferences of any one person.

But I digress.  The core of this is, of course, sexual shame; people (especially, though by no means exclusively, those reared in sexually-repressive religions) cannot admit to any sexual feelings outside of straight vanilla monogamy, so when they experience such feelings it’s both convenient and comforting to blame them on porn, “sex addiction“, alien abduction, demonic possession, hypnosis, or any other thing outside the darker recesses of their own brains.

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Conflating…sex work with sex trafficking is not only obtuse, but has deeply harmful consequences.  –  Savannah Sly and Diane Goldstein

Change a Few Words

Savannah Sly and Diane Goldstein of LEAP question why sex work is still persecuted while drug restrictions are being loosened:

On October 8, President Biden pardoned thousands of people convicted of simple marijuana possession.  In doing so, he took a step toward undoing the harms of…a notorious era of mass criminalization that has caused untold damage to our communities.  This historic, if limited, moment is worthy of celebration.  But it throws into sharp relief how the tools of criminalized prohibition continue to wreak havoc on marginalized communities, particularly in the realm of sex work…Harmful morality policing punishes drug use and poverty, fosters corruption and promotes the investigation of other victimless “crimes” like sex work, as both of our organizations, New Moon Fund and the Law Enforcement Action Partnership, have recognized…

Monsters

This is some seriously warped behavior:

…Buti Sashi…was armed with a large knife when he went to the homes of [transgender] sex workers…[he had] arranged to meet…at [Dublin] apartments.  In the first attack on the night of May 26, 2017, Sashi began hitting the victim on the face and body before cutting her with the knife.  He demanded sex and [rap]ed her before stealing her mobile phone and laptop…[and leaving her with] a fracture to her left jaw and to an eye socket bone…a month later, on June 28, Sashi and another man forced their way into the flat of another transgender sex worker.  Sashi was again carrying a large knife and both men began beating the victim and [stole] two mobile phones from her.  When a housemate tried to help [her]…the men attacked him, breaking his jaw and cutting him twice with the knife.  They [then robbed him of]…his phone, laptop and €300 in cash…Sashi…has…previous convictions…for…the violent robbery of a taxi driver in August 2014…[and] for assault of a sex worker and theft from sex workers [in 2017]…

Business As Usual

If only there were a concise term for “forced into sex”:

A [typical and representative] Hernando County [Florida cop]…forced a person [to submit to rape] by threatening to arrest them if they refused…Zachary Carter [committed the crime at least twice]…The news release…does not specify a gender of the person Carter [raped]…

Given that this is Florida, my guess is that the reason the cops are playing coy about gender is that the victim was a trans woman.  And given the circumstances, and that he was able to find her twice, she is probably a sex worker (which is why I chose this heading).

To Molest and Rape (#920)

When this monster was first arrested, he was reported to be merely a serial stalker:

A Perth jury that asked for urgent counselling because of the “sickening and confronting” material they were having to view has convicted a [typical and representative West Australian cop]…of drugging, [rap]ing and indecently recording 13 women…Adrian Trevor Moore…was once [convic]ted…of 87 offences…committed over a 12-year period…He met most of the women through online dating sites such as Tinder and RSVP, and he used the police computer system to [pry into their private business]…Moore readily admitted being interested in BDSM and “dominant/submissive” role-playing, and [claim]ed that [the bitches were all lying and they wanted it anyway]…

Surplus Women (#1153)

Cops can’t be bothered to investigate the disappearance of sex workers, especially black sex workers:

…a 22-year old Black woman escaped…after being kidnapped, [rap]ed, and held captive in [a] basement…[i]n Excelsior Springs, Missouri…[by a] man [named] Timothy Haslett Jr…She…[was] kept…in a small room in the basement that [Haslett] had built…restrained in handcuffs on her wrists and ankles…she was able to get free when he left to take his child to school…[but still] had a metal collar around her neck with a padlock, and duct tape around her neck…[she had been held captive since] the beginning of September…Bishop Tony Caldwell [and others]…made reports of numerous murdered and missing Black women…who were missing were being taken from an area on Prospect Avenue in Kansas City…[but] the Kansas City Police Department…called the…[reports] “completely unfounded rumors,” dismissing the concerns.  Local news outlets [obediently] followed suit, [as usual.  The woman who escaped]…said her friends “did not make it out” and were killed by…Haslett…

Micromanagement (#1260)

Any information you give to the State can and will be used against you:

Texas public school systems are set to distribute DNA and fingerprint identification kits for K-8 students to parents [foolish and frightened enough] to participate…The cards are intended to be kept by guardians [and can be subpoenaed by]…law enforcement in order to potentially [connect relatives to crimes, but they’re being sold to the gullible as being used to] help find missing or trafficked children…

Torture Chamber (Rapist Roundup)

The State refuses to call this what it is:

A jury has convicted a [typical and representative Rhode Island screw of two rapes]…Collins Umoh…was found guilty of [a lesser] count…[invented especially for cops, so]…he…face[s a mere]…five years in prison and/or a fine of $10,000 [for multiple rapes]…

 

I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks so much!

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I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks very much!

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It’s very frustrating to be a gynecologist in Texas.  –  Dr. Lauren Swords

Bad Girls

It’s an extremely bad idea to try to do the work of a professional, whether dominatrix or lawyer, without any training in the field:

After three days of often graphic evidence, sex worker Madeleine Joan Lewin offered no explanation about what happened…the night Brisbane businessman Anthony Brady died…the 34-year-old, representing herself at her manslaughter trial…sat…silently throughout the proceedings…she did not cross examine any witnesses and did not give evidence or make a closing statement to the jury.  It took the 12 jurors less than an hour to return a unanimous guilty verdict…Brady…[died] during a consensual bondage activity on the evening of August 12, 2020…[apparently from positional asphyxia as he] was found face down on the bed with a hood over his head, and handcuffs and bindings around his wrists and legs…Some of the bindings were difficult for police to remove…[and] Lewin had [fled the scene]…in a hurry…

Property of the State (#1149)

Women of childbearing age should avoid Alabama entirely if at all possible:

…Several pregnant women and new moms accused of exposing their fetuses to drugs have been [caged] for weeks or months in…Etowah County [Alabama]…under special bond conditions that require rehab and $10,000 cash…As a result…Etowah County…often [cages] several pregnant and postpartum women [at a time], against the advice of experts on maternal and fetal health…“The stress and conditions in jail and prisons, including lack of consistent access to standard prenatal care and mental health care, poor diets, poor sanitation, infestations with bugs and vermin, poor ventilation, tension, noise, lack of privacy, lack of family and community contact, can be detrimental to physical and mental health which can result in poor pregnancy outcomes for both the mother and the baby,” [said prominent OB-GYN Dr. Carolyn] Sufrin…It’s difficult to know how many…women…Etowah County [victimizes in this way.  Reporters]…found seven pregnant or postpartum women in a recent investigation of the jail log…National Advocates for Pregnant Women…have tracked more than 150 chemical endangerment cases involving women in Etowah County since 2010…

Legislators Gone Wild (#1198) 

The fanatical, unhinged Guinasso and his pet fantasist are at it again, now with the financial backing of Morality in Media:

…one of Las Vegas’ premier strip clubs, Sapphire Las Vegas…[and] the Chicken Ranch, an unrelated…[Nevada brothel, have been targeted by a nuisance law]suit [filed by]…Morality in Media…and [fanatical anti-sex lawyer] Jason Guinasso…[with the help of two professional “survivors” who hope to profit from the dying “sex trafficking” hysteria by pretending they were] “sex trafficked in Nevada through legal strip clubs, including the Sapphire Gentleman’s Club”…Conflating all legal sex work with “sex trafficking” has been one of the key strategies used by [Morality in Media] in its ambitious quest to outlaw all consensual sex work, one of the group’s core goals…the organization…also planned to sue Steve Sisolak, the governor of Nevada; Aaron Ford, the state’s attorney general; the city of Las Vegas; and Nevada’s Clark County and Nye County.  However, the court ruled that the plaintiffs did not have standing to sue those parties…

On the Simultaneous Having and Eating of Cake (#1199) 

The latest chapter in this nasty, twisted saga:

The FBI announced…that it had placed GirlsDoPorn owner Michael Pratt on its Ten Most Wanted Fugitives list, and doubled the reward for information leading to his arrest from $50,000 to $100,000…On July 26, Matthew Wolfe, Pratt’s second in command for the shuttered GirlsDoPorn website, pleaded guilty…to a single count of conspiracy to commit sex trafficking…Pratt, a New Zealand national, escaped the U.S. before federal charges against the company and its employees were unsealed in 2019…

The Cop Myth (#1236)

Why are people shocked when men paid and encouraged to behave violently, behave violently?

A…[typical and representative] California [cop] has been charged [for] murder[ing]…a married couple…Devin Williams…was allegedly dating the female victim…Maria Tran and [murdered] her [and her] husband…Benison Tran [when he discovered she was married]…the pair’s 14-year-old-son…walked in on the crime in progress…Williams fled…but…turned himself in nearly 11 hours later…

Property of the State (#1259)

“Hard cases” are more common than forced-birth proponents want you to believe:

Kristina Cruickshank…lost her unborn baby…in her 15th week of pregnancy…[she] was frail, vomiting and in pain when she and her husband, John, arrived at Houston Methodist Sugar Land on…June 3.  She needed an abortion…but…it…was not clear whether Kristina was exempt from Texas abortion laws, which threaten providers with felonies and lawsuits for performing abortions except to treat a miscarriage or a loosely defined “medical emergency.”  Her fetus still had a heartbeat, and she did not yet need life-saving care…So over the next three days, a sick and distraught Kristina was stuck in limbo, waiting…while an ethics committee reviewed the case…

Winding Down (#1265)

Your “leaders” know what’s best, so shut up and obey:

Arkansas is one of a handful of states, and the only Southern state, that allows voters to directly pass laws and amend the state constitution by ballot referendum.  Placing an initiative on the ballot requires collecting signatures from registered voters equal to 8 percent of the total votes for governor in the most recent election.  Currently, that number is 89,151.  In July, Responsible Growth Arkansas…submitted a [legalization] measure with over 190,000 signatures, more than twice the necessary number…[but] the State Board of Election Commissioners…denied the measure’s title and, therefore, its ballot eligibility…Responsible Growth Arkansas sued Secretary of State John Thurston…The Arkansas Supreme Court preliminarily ordered Thurston to certify the measure for November’s general election ballot but noted that it would not ultimately be able to hear arguments on the case until September…

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Is it legal in New York City to meet a professional at a short-stay motel for the purposes of a BDSM session? The only sexual activity contemplated would be masturbation by me while naked.

There’s little point in concerning yourself with whether a consensual sex act is “legal” or not, because cops can and will arrest anyone they think they can get away with arresting, whether the supposed act they’re arresting someone for is legal, illegal, or nothing more than a product of their own sick imaginations.  The only relatively certain way to avoid arrest any time you step out of your front door is to avoid cops; when sex is involved, that means contracting with an established professional.  If you see someone with a long and proven professional history, you’re as safe as you are doing just about anything else involving sex (and much safer than doing the same thing with an amateur) regardless of the diktats of power-hungry busybodies; if you try to see someone without a reputation, there’s no way to guarantee it isn’t a cop and you won’t end up in the paper under a headline that screams “SEX TRAFFICKING!” regardless of whether you did anything any sane person would consider wrong or criminal.

(Have a question of your own?  Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)

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